The Shine Theory: What it is and why you need it.

Building friendships with accomplished women is great for your business & personal network Click To Tweet

What is your first thought when you get introduced to another woman? ‘She’s pretty but maybe not as pretty as me?’ or ‘Gosh, I wish my edges were that laid’ perhaps ‘Who is this? Does she think I’m cool?’

Whether it’s involuntary or not we tend to have a train of thought that borders on the competitive when we meet someone new. It even happens with people we do know, hearing good news about a friend’s new promotion or engagement can sometimes make us feel a little left behind.

Well the Shine Theory, advocated by Anne Friedman, challenges you to flip the script. The basic premise is that when you meet an intimidatingly successful bad ass woman, instead of letting that little voice in your head tell you that you should feel inferior or even intimidated, send it back where it came from and befriend her! Friedman explains, ‘Surrounding yourself with the best people doesn’t make you look worse by comparison. It makes you better.’

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Why the Shine Theory?

We live in a society that constantly pits women against each other, as if we can’t imagine a world where two successful women can exist without being competitors. The Shine Theory encourages us to surround ourselves with women who are successful and to encourage these successes. How can we not want to see the women around us flourish and do the most? After all, we are the company we keep.

But does the Shine Theory actually work? It has been tried and tested by the women in the Obama Administration with the effects fostering an important change in the way women treat each other in the workplace. It has been a long time coming but it is definitely time to change the narrative that women cannot exist in the same space without being pitted against one another.

So how can you practice the Shine Theory?

Well, charity does start at home. How we see and treat others is based on how we see and treat ourselves. A little self-love and self-confidence goes a long way. When you recognise your potential and your unique path, you’re less likely to compare yourself to others and resent their accomplishments.

It is important to ask yourself why you instinctively take a negative approach to meeting someone new. How do you feel about yourself, your career and happiness? Your answers to this will generally reflect how you ultimately treat others.

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Convinced? Here’s how to start.

The Shine Theory can easily be done with our friends and general social circle but it is not just limited to seeing our inner circle flourish. It is also key to make an effort when we meet someone who potentially intimidates you. This isn’t a ‘fake it till you like her’ situation.

Be genuine and honest with your friendships and acquaintances, be part of a BOSS community that encourages and thrives off each other’s success.Whether it’s a tweet of encouragement or creating platforms that support another woman’s business, the Shine Theory allows all those involved to bask in each other’s sparkle.

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Building friendships with more accomplished women is great for building your business relationships and your personal networks. Who knows? That seemingly intimidating woman could be you next business partner. More significantly, you gain you a strong support system that pushes you to be the best version of yourself.

We need friends that are smart, confident and kick-ass women who dish out the best advice and inspire us daily. Create and foster friendships based on mutual appreciation and respect in seeing each other’s triumphs as a celebration for all.

6 simple, realistic ways of staying inspired and motivated


Do you have moments when you simply want to get things done, move from where you at in life to the next stage, yet have zero motivation?

Have you been trying to stay inspired? Things may not be going too great as planned, or you simply have so much to do and are overwhelmed so burn out takes the better part of you.

Yasss, you are on the right track reading this. This is the article for you, I’ll be sharing 6 simple realistic ways of staying motivated and inspired.

Inspired Motivation

1. Write your top three tasks of the day

Write down your three tasks of the day. If you have more go ahead jot them down, but be realistic.

What are the three main agendas you have that’s are so crucial for you to finish today? Find them out and start planning your day around these tasks. Remember to keep the number at three!

2. Practice the 50/10 rule

Now that we have established the main tasks that need to be completed today, let’s get started.

Work on one important task of the day for 50 minutes, then take a 10 minute break to refocus. Plan your tasks in order of priority, this way you get what should be done urgently completed and in good time.

It isn’t easy but it can be done…

3. Reflect daily

This a habit many of us forego mainly because we are probably tired by the time its evening and after a long day at work. But guess what they say, what you do after work is the most important part of your future.

Squeeze in some time for reflection, this will help you self-evaluate your day and know what works and what does not. This way, you are also able to account for your time which is again very important.

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4. Focus on what makes you happy

Try as much as possible to indulge in your favourite things through the week, and each days. Let’s be fair, not everything we do is fun and interesting.

Some may not be our favourite, but the thing is they have to be done. So we have to find ways to be inspired and get stuff done when nobody else will.

Express gratitude more often than not. I have started doing a gratitude walk over the weekend, especially on Sunday evenings. During my gratitude walk, I just say out all things I am grateful for.

Later on through the week, I write down 5-10 things I am grateful for in any particular day. It really makes you happier, and gives you more motivation to get what you need done, accomplished. Try it!

5. Keep learning

This is a key factor in growing and personal development. This can be easily done through reading, browsing and brainstorming sessions.

Research online, make tutorials your best of friend. There is so much you can gain out there on Youtube. Cultivate a reading culture. As opposed to going for drinks with the same friends over again and over again, try to meet new people.

Network and form support groups. These are essential so your coffee, lunch or drink meet-ups becomes more meaningful.

Sharing knowledge and learning, keeps you inspired. This way you stay on track and motivated. Lastly …

6. Stay healthy

Hydrate, drink lots of water throughout your day. Whether you’re running errands or at your desk, get accustomed to this habit, you will thank me later!

Other than keeping you feeling fresh, alive and energetic water is very good for your skin, we all know this. You can throw in some cucumbers, lemon wedges or even strawberries if you are not a fan of plain water.

Exercise if you can, walk, jog, hit the gym for a full work out. Make time for this as it improves your mood. Also, ensure to always get some good rest/sleep at night.