TOMI ADEYEMI: The Nigerian-American Female Author Making Waves
Tomi Adeyemi is a 24-year-old Nigerian- American author and creative writing coach. She recently started making waves in the writing industry in America, and in Africa, at large. Her debut novel, Children of Blood and Bone, a West African young adult and fantasy novel was released on the 6th of March 2018 and has since been the talk of the globe, literally. Now, let’s focus on the star, Tomi Adeyemi. A young, hardworking, determined and successful woman, who by all means, got herself to the beginning of a successful phase with utmost determination. She is someone who enjoys her passion, to be heard, to impact the lives of others, to change the game and be referenced, amongst others. [bctt tweet=”.@tomi_adeyemi’s first written novel did not yield a positive feedback but that did not stop her. She went ahead to write another after a year gap and guess what, that come back book was #Childrenofbloodandbone.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Tomi Adeyemi is a graduate with honors from Harvard University as she studied English literature. Her quest and zeal to know more about her background and culture paved the way for the fellowship she got to study West African Mythology and culture in Salvador, Brazil. Tomi Adeyemi has been writing since she could read but only got serious about writing a book in 2010 and she wasn’t perfect at it on the first trial. She learned everything she could about writing. Things like reading books, talking to authors to get insights and one or two tips to guide her, going to conferences and so on. She even studied her favorite stories just so she could ‘figure out why they were so awesome’ she says. Her first written novel did not yield a positive feedback but that did not stop her. She went ahead to write another after a year gap and guess what, that come back book was Children of Blood and Bone. The book highlights the importance of a black girl being seen and heard, and the high importance of black people, in general. The scenes in the novel depict actual events that have been witnessed over the past couple of years. From brutal murders, treatments and vile issues that the popular movement #BlackLivesMatter brought to light. The book Children of Blood and Bone is the first of the series of the legacy of orisha trilogy and is yielding major positive waves. First, it’s No 1 on the New York Times Young Adult Hardcover bestseller list. [bctt tweet=”@tomi_adeyemi has literally broken the roof with her book #childrenofbloodandbone” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Secondly, it has landed a 7 figure movie deal with Fox and the movie is currently in development. Thirdly, she has changed lives with this book and ignited so much passion and determination in the lives of men, women, and children. I would say that she has literally broken the roof with her book. As we all know, all work and no play makes Jane a dull girl. If Tomi isn’t found writing, she will definitely be found watching Scandal as she loves it much, or blogging or teaching creative writing to her 3500+ subscribers at her website tomiadeyemi.com, which has been named one of the 101 best websites for writers by writer’s digest. Let us all watch out for her new book to be released, titled Children of Virtue and Vengeance. Tomi Adeyemi is an all-rounder. A successful black woman, a creative writer, an author, a writing coach and a mentor to many. We wish her the best in all she does. Interested in contributing for She Leads Africa? Click here.
The tales of a disgruntled miss Independent
My friend is going through that phase where she is panicking about whether she will ever find the man of her dreams. I keep telling her “Girl, chill out, the sea is not empty yet”. She recently went on a date with this new guy she is seeing, and now she knows what she wants in life, and I admire her so much for that. Before she even goes on a date with a guy, she has to have conversated with him for a while and after the first date, if she is not feeling it, she is not the “Let’s see where it can go” type of girl. Maybe that’s why she is not married yet. Anyway, I asked her, “How did this one go? Do you think he is the one?”, she stared into space and after a while replied, “Yea he might be, but he asked me if we should do Dutch”. I also paused and stared into space, what does that mean, I thought. “So, for the rest of the date, we ended up talking about doing Dutch and women becoming more independent.” So, “do Dutch”, basically means splitting the bill. This made me ponder about a statement I once read which said – “These days women are now becoming the men they once dreamt of marrying”. Unfortunately, I can’t help but feel like that’s somewhat true. Why is it that many women don’t rely on men as much anymore, is it because we don’t need them, is it because they are not providing what we are seeking? Is a man no longer a man if he can’t provide? Should women turn down their independence just to maintain the man’s ego? [bctt tweet=”Women are now becoming the men they once dreamt of marrying” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] That’s a flat out, big NO for me. Women have been oppressed and have had their rights suppressed for a long time. Now that we have more privileges and equal opportunities, some men and women are slightly uncomfortable with our liberation. So much so that some women feel the need to hide their ambition. There is something endearing about being humble, but there is a difference in taming yourself down because some people are uncomfortable with your star qualities. [bctt tweet=”You don’t win by playing small” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] There are men out there who feel threatened if their woman is earning more than them and they feel like they are not enough. If a man feels threatened by your independence, then those are his insecurities he needs to work on, not yours. You shouldn’t have to pretend to be less just to please him. The independence of a woman can often destroy a man’s masculinity. There is absolutely nothing wrong in building together with your man, he makes his own money and you make your own too. There is also nothing wrong with sitting back and letting your man treat you and you doing the same for him. As long as the woman is not putting down her man because she is richer or more powerful than him, a happy, balanced, healthy relationship can be boded. These are just some of the things you suss out when you begin dating someone, are they comfortable with you being the bomb ass woman that you are, can they handle you, what does their ego say about you being this boss chick? It is as simple as asking your potential suitor those direct questions. Society depicts that the man should be the main provider of a family. As women, we should allow the man to be who he is and who he is destined to be. Our life’s purpose does not take priority over his your opinions don’t matter more because you have more money or are more powerful than he is. In relationships, you often have to compromise yourself and compromising is not betrayal. When you find yourself having to kill your true, authentic, hardworking, go-getter self, its yourself you’re betraying. You don’t have to kill who you are to please your counterpart. Independent women are often deemed as high maintenance, sometimes greedy and their standards are too high. Well if you don’t set boundaries or standards you will settle for whatever is handed to you in life and you will never be fulfilled. Having said all this not all men think the same. Sometimes men want more than just an independent successful woman with her own money. Hopefully, there is more to you than just your successes. What are your family values, what are you like as a person without all your accomplishments? Are you really this well rounded independent successful woman in all areas of your life. It may not be your independence and success that’s putting men off you. It’s a matter of looking inwardly, are you really this gracious, strong Queen you say you are? [bctt tweet=”Standards only scare off people who are not willing to make an effort with you.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] We were all put on this earth for a different purpose and we each have a duty to fulfill our purposes before we die, whether we become richer or more powerful than our male counterpart and vice versa. You never need to tone down your ambition. Some men will take pride in having a woman who works for her own because even an independent successful woman still has her vulnerabilities. After all, she is human. Got an article you’d like to share with us? Share your story with us here.
5 transferable skills you need to go from homemaker to employee
What happens when the homemaker decides to return to formal employment? She is usually greeted with disdain for having ‘wasted’ her time at home and missed out on the latest developments in the industry. Though she is likely to be a bit out of touch with the nitty gritty of being an employee, a homemaker will, during the course of her homemaking, acquire some fine skills that make her an even more valuable employee than someone who has not experienced life outside the workplace. [bctt tweet=” A successful homemaker makes a successful employee” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Here are some of the transferable skills a homemaker already has: Time-keeping With so much to achieve on a daily basis, successful homemakers always keep their eye on the clock. If your meetings tend to stretch forever, and you cannot seem to stay on schedule for your targets, someone with homemaking experience can turn that around for you. Through experience, homemakers understand the effect of allowing tasks to take up too long to complete, of failing to have something done in time, and of the benefits of scheduling right off the bat. Planning Homemakers are, of necessity planners. From household chore to family events, these women have a skill that some employees still need to be taught. A homemaker understands the difference between a daily, weekly and monthly plan. Meal planning is one way they practice this. She needs to plan for daily meals, which will be the foundation of her weekly or even monthly shopping trips. At the same time, she masters making adjustments, improvising, scheduling and reviewing. [bctt tweet=”If your team needs someone who seamlessly integrates tasks together, you may need a homemaker” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Multi-tasking Homemaking tasks are varied, numerous and as diverse as the lives involved. The basics of homemaking encompass cooking, cleaning, childcare, gardening, tutoring, house maintenance and so on. In a single day, she will have to deal with some or even all of these tasks. With only 24 hours in a day, multi-tasking is something learned out of necessity. The trick with multi-tasking is that while it is necessary, it needs to be done in a logical manner to be effective. While you can listen to your child’s reading while cooking, for example, it becomes illogical to attempt it while you are vacuuming. If your team needs someone who seamlessly integrates tasks together, you may need to give the homemaker a chance. Creativity Creativity is one of those skills that is difficult to define and teach to a person. It is best learned in context. And what better context than in the home, where routine can soon lead to boredom in so many ways. From the layout of furniture to meals and family activities, there comes a time where a new approach is demanded of you. When work and business solutions start to get mundane, the homemaker will seldom be out of depth. Negotiation Who engages the part-time help to complete a task in the shortest time possible for the lowest cost? Who meets the meter man at the gate and diverts any attempt to disconnect services? Who sets the terms for play dates, physical boundaries, and social events? The very same tasks in the context of a formal work environment can be assigned to the woman who already has lots of experience form home. In some cases, it’s the homemaker herself who needs to be reminded of all the wealth of experience that she brings to the workforce. There is no reason to feel inferior or incompetent. A successful homemaker makes a successful employee.
South Africa’s Digital Womxnist – Owethu Makhathini
Owethu is beyond a force to be reckoned with. This incredible Google Certified genius is taking over the digital sphere by holding workshops and talks across the country through her consultancy, Makhathini Media – which provides innovative ways to show young women how they can advance their careers using digital marketing. Owethu created her platform to upskill young business-minded women and show others how you can liberate women through social media. Let’s take a look at Owethu’s journey on how she is making a difference in empowering women while making her mark in the digital industry. Tell us more about Makhathini Media? Makhathini Media is a creative consultancy that specializes in offering tailored digital marketing and ICT training. We tailor the content depending on the needs of the client, not just for young people but for large corporates and government parastatals. We have a long way to go in terms of digital literacy. I want to ultimately be in a position to fund creative projects, upskill people in digital skills, facilitate networking events and help big brands and businesses create compelling, perception-shifting work. What projects do you have up your sleeve? I have 2 very special projects coming up and I couldn’t be more excited! One ties into the focus of the business which is the training aspect while the other ties into the secondary goal of the business which is creating a community underpinned by the restorative power of sisterhood. We hope to create networks of women who inspire, uplift and collaborate with each other. 2018 is going to an exciting year for Makhathini Media! The media industry has predominantly been male-dominated. How do you navigate this reality as a woman and leader in the digital industry? If we are being honest, most industries are male-dominated. Patriarchy is maintained and is a tool of capitalism, that much is inescapable. I am fortunate that in the digital marketing space, one has the power to create a platform that can exist to challenge mainstream ideas. Business is ruthless and as a young, black woman there are additional challenges we face to get into the room and be taken seriously, never mind having a seat at the table. As a businesswoman, you have to be able to stand in your truth and create an ecosystem of women that look like you to collaborate and make money with. There definitely is strength in numbers. [bctt tweet=”Young women are the most receptive to skills training- @owethumack ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] How has the process and reception of educating the youth on the digital sphere been? Young women are the most receptive to skills training. They are often the ones that already have small-scale businesses running from home who just need a boost of knowledge. I have had mostly young women come up to me after my sessions to share their stories or to thank me for showing them that someone as young as them has found a niche and is making a business around it. The project I am initiating in 2018 will attend to the needs of the young women who have attended one of my sessions. There is a need that must be met and I feel that I am the perfect position to facilitate it. It is very humbling, inspiring and truthfully, it is what keeps me going when I feel overwhelmed. Can digital marketing play a role in liberating women, especially in South Africa? Firstly, the internet is a borderless place, we are able to share ideas across the world in a matter of moments. This means that even if you feel isolated in your geographical area, you can find a community of like-minded individuals by simply searching for those people online. Secondly, the information shared online can make people aware of the organizations that exist to help women out of situations where they feel helpless. Thirdly, digital marketing is a business opportunity. If a woman is being financially abused, she is able to run a small business through WhatsApp or social media, therefore getting practical help. [bctt tweet=”The internet is a borderless place & digital marketing is a business opportunity” – @owethumack username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] As a mentor to other women, who do you go to for inspiration and why? My great-grandmother, grandmothers, and my mother. Outside of my family, I look up to the Knowles sisters, Oprah Winfrey, Nunu Ntshingila, Zodwa Khumalo, Khanyi Dhlomo and Bonang Matheba. I grew up in a matriarchal family with women who were equally strong and soft. They provided a firm foundation that I have built my version of womanhood on. The women in my family are not too different from women around the world. We are resilient because we must be. We are people who can get things done without disregarding our empathy. What advice would you give to someone who wants to get into your line of work? I would say take yourself on as a project. Critically assess where you fall short, unpack the ways you dishonor yourself and show yourself grace. As women, we are socialized to constantly give and made to feel selfish when we finally erect boundaries. Make sure you have boundaries and a standard for your life, don’t ever compromise yourself for the comfort of another because you aren’t giving from a place of love but from a place of obligation which leads down a path of resentment. If you’d like to share your story with She Leads Africa, let us know more about you and your story here.