Tolulope Tunde-Ajiboye: Life lessons from my journey to new beginnings

Coming into my 33rd year is very special, as it marks my 20th year of walking with God, 10 years of marriage, 10 years of parenting, 10 years of being a professional and the birthing of something new – Blooming Amazons.

I will be sharing life lessons I’ve learned through the journey.

Before you begin, grab a notepad and maybe a cool drink, because this is a long but eye-opening read.

Living for the praises/ validation of men is futile

This year, as it’s a pattern with me when something new is about to be birthed in me, all Hell would let loose and most times only a few can see what I m seeing. When Blooming Amazons were about to be birthed, I had people who I taught should be excited about the new work say to me, cancel, it’s not time.

I knew I heard God, so I went ahead, not allowing the opinion of anyone to deter me. At the end of our first conference in June, I had a few of them (who were Humble enough)  say to me, you really heard God, after the conference, we are convinced.

So I say to myself, what if I succumbed to all the pressures?

Own your Journey as it is part of your process

EVERYTHING we go through in life( The Good, Bad and Ugly) is all part of our becoming and it’s the enemy’s plan to keep us down with shame. God will never want us to be ashamed irrespective of where we have been.

He’s more interested in where we are now and where we will spend eternity… We should find strength in our journey and own our story without prejudice, someone out there will draw strength from your journey.

Always remember you are only a vessel

When God does His work through us, there’s the temptation that people would start to put us on a pedestal of worship(very dangerous), we have to constantly remind them, it is God who is doing His work and we are only vessels, and He alone should take all the glory.

If we are not deliberate about this,  pride will set in (and it’s usually subtle). God resists the proud, the fear of being resisted by God alone should keep us humble.

Everything we go through in life - The Good, Bad and Ugly is all part of our becoming - @tolulopetaj Click To Tweet

Some things never grow old

1. Prayer 

These days when you say to people lets pray about this, it sounds like a cliché, like the normal thing Christians say, but I tell you the truth, Prayer changes things.

Prayer is us admitting to God that we are limited and need His intervention in a particular situation. It’s a show of surrender and Humility. His answer may not come how we many it or when we want it, but He certainly answers.

2. Submission

With all the feminism out there and being taken overboard, it assumes that submission is out-dated. I see submission as admitting that the power I have comes through me and not from me, I believe God knows the strength of a woman and if left unchecked can create chaos and that’s why He has commanded us to submit.

Submission is more than an admonishing, it’s a command.

So, I”m married to this amazing gentleman who allows me to have my way a lot of times, but when He puts his foot down, I know I have to submit, it might not be easy on the flesh, but every time I submit to my Husband, I notice He honors me more and He is spurred to do more for me.

Irrespective of what I do outside of my Home, once I get to ABCVille,( How we like to call our Home), I’m first Babatunde’s wife before anything else. Being submissive isn’t the same as being subservient.

3. Loyalty

I’m a believer in if you belong to a place, then give it your loyalty, if I start to doubt the integrity of a  place I belong to, I would rather move on than to be two-faced.

I still don’t know how people are able to sleep at night after hailing someone who they just cursed behind their back. ( of the first questions I will ask God when we get to heaven).

God is a loving Father

A lot of us have this fearful, awfull picture of God, perhaps painted to us as children from Sunday school days, but it’s not true about Him, we should fear God in reverence, but not an awful kind of fear. God isn’t like the Nigerian traffic police (lastma) lol, hiding and just waiting for us to fail so He can hit us with His rod of correction of sickness, diseases or crisis…

Rather, He loves us with an everlasting, I like to call it a ‘reckless love’. The Bible makes us know He doesn’t want the sinner to perish, it is never His will for anyone to perish, and it is never God who puts crises on people, all good and perfect gifts come from Him and its impossible for Him to do evil.

Next time you find yourself “falling”, remember, God’s love is waiting with hands open wide to receive you back - @tolulopetaj Click To Tweet

Feelings are a bad master but a good servant

As Christians, we can’t be ruled by our feelings, they will mislead us. We are first a spirit, then we have a soul and live in a body, Our soul is responsible for our emotions but as strong as emotions are, they are in no match to what our spirit carries. Our life should be guided by the spirit.

So Here was I, tongue-talking, demon chasing daughter of God, being attracted to some other person, of course I know to Kill that emotion because it is not leading to anywhere good. Anger, Jealousy, Fear, all these are emotions and should be put in constant check with the word of God.

Sometimes we might wake up not feeling too good, perhaps because of life challenges(being an adult can be demanding….I know), we are weighed down.

Here is my reminder to you, it’s only a feeling, it’s not who you are, it will pass.

Marriage has to be built on the right foundation

Right foundation for me will be marrying for the right reasons, being sincere about who you are from the beginning of the relationship and most important part, Having God be the center of it all.

Forever is a very long time to spend with someone, and years down in marriage, both of you will evolve, children will come or may not, careers will grow , finances, Health, in-laws, priorities, purpose, a lot will just happen and its the foundation of your marriage that will really sustain the union, we can’t really change our spouse.

No Human being can change another( God hasn’t given that power to any man), but we can ask Him who is the creator and father of our spouse to do with and in His child all He wants to.

Be sincere and open with your Children

I learned this from my mum, She is a  very sacrificial mother and let my brother and me into her capabilities. Even when I was far away in school, there were just somethings I never got involved in, because I knew my mother emptied all her savings to give me the comfort I have.

I just kind of felt being of good behavior and excelling was the least I could do to honor her. Also, you earn your children’s respect when you treat your spouse well.

This a subtle life lesson we pass to our children without talking. So my children notice my Husband and I just disagreed over an issue, and as children may want to ask for favors from me which their Dad won’t approve of.

They know I won’t bend over to let them have their way. They have come to learn this, so these days, they don’t bother…

Competition and Rivalry is baseless

One of the core things the Lord has been impressing upon my heart is collaboration. We are the light of the world, but a candlestick in a world of gross darkness cant dispell much but imagine what happens when we all bring our light together, there is no darkness we can’t dispel.

Afterall, no one ever shines brighter by putting our another person’s light.

It’s Ok to admit we are limited and don’t know something

There’s the temptation of wanting to answer everyone’s questions, want to meet everyone’s need and solve every problem when we begin to have people look up to us.

While this is good, to have a serving heart, it can place too much demand on us, we should do as much as we can, but we should always have at the back of our minds that its only the Holy Spirit who can fix people and solve problems and we are in no match with him. We should always point people back to God and be sincere with our limitations.

If  someone asks us a question we don’t know, its ok to say I don’t know or I’m not sure about this, can I get back to you or can I refer you to someone I feel will be in a better position to answer you correctly


People would always have an opinion and they are entitled to it, but you should choose what advice to listen to - @tolulopetaj Click To Tweet

Everyone God has brought our way is for a purpose and we are accountable for them

One of the ways my Husband and I have decided to give back to the society is by ensuring anyone who comes to work for us as a domestic staff leaves us better. We are committed to their growth and development.

Seriously, we can’t claim to be mentoring people outside when the ones right under our roof, that spend a lot of time with our children are not well mentored.

Not only do we mentor them but make an investment in them. Is there a possibility they won’t be grateful, Oh yes, but who and what is our motive? God!!! So it’s unto Him

There’s a reward for faithfulness

When we are in the capacity to work for others, we should do it as though it is ours. People say a lot to me now that running BLAM comes so easy for you.

How do you do it, but then, years before now, I was serving somewhere else, not having the slightest idea God would call me to start BLAM, but I did it with all my heart as though it was mine, not only did God reward my faithfulness.

I was also unknowingly developing myself for my own purpose, so now it appears so easy as I have developed my root downwards.


Courage isn’t the absence of Fear, but not being crippled by the fear.

I remember our first conference, I was so afraid like visibly afraid, if you looked at me, you literally could see me trembling, but I didn’t let that stop me, I know fear is only a feeling, I heard God clearly about the conference, so what I felt really didn’t matter.

Fulfilling a purpose isn’t for the faint-hearted

Ask anyone doing great in any sector, they will tell you the same thing. Someone told me she was crying because some people she thought should support her vision arent doing so.

I simply told her, welcome to the club, its ok to cry, but one of the beauties of being a woman is we can cry this moment, and the next go to the washroom and slay it up again.

Usually, I would recommend anyone starting or doing a great work to confess Ephesians 3:16 (NLT)  I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. 

We need a lot of inner strength for the journey.

People would always have an opinion and they are entitled to it, but what they aren’t entitled to be forcing it on you.

You also owe yourself not being moved by the opinion of people, I have observed that people’s opinions are ever changing, since the days of Jesus, today Hosanna, tomorrow crucify!

Seek Counsel, ask for advice, but ultimately, hear God.

I once heard of an ex-governor who when He wanted to run for governorship sort the counsel of one His mentors, a big name in the Christian faith in our nation, and the person told him not to run as he won’t win, but He was convinced God spoke to Him.

He ran and won the elections and even did a second term. I’ve had this play out in my lifetime and time again. This doesn’t make the man of God a liar, it only means that concerning the issues of our destiny, it is ONLY the holy spirit’s guide that is 100 percent accurate.

Your spouse isn’t your enemy

Many times the enemy tries to make our spouse look like our enemy, but we know better.

His aims are not far-fetched, to steal, kill and ultimately destroy. So when dealing with issues, we should always have this at the back of our minds.

Whats important is that we don't measure our own success or be put under pressure by what we see on social media - @tolulopetaj Click To Tweet

Preparation time is never wasted time

So you sense you are being called to a certain trade or profession, rather than launching out untrained, take time out to go prepare, go watch someone do it.

That way your roots grow downwards, so even though no one is seeing the tree itself yet, you have developed a solid foundation and when you start out and the storms and challenges of life flood in, you are able to stand.

Social Media is a very good tool

Like most of the work we do with BLAM is via social media, that being said, it can also be very misleading. Everyone puts their best foot forward and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Whats important is we don’t measure our own success or be put under pressure by what we see on social media.  Not all that glitter is gold

It’s Ok to laugh at yourself

I remember a night I was in Bible school and because of my tight schedules lately, I’ve been going on wigs more to help me cut down on salon times this day, off my wig went in the middle of class.

Honestly, I still can’t explain what made it fall off, but I just picked it up and wore it back nicely, rather than being thoroughly embarrassed. Life isn’t that serious

Its ok to ask for help

When we were having our conference in June, we sent out letters for support which we got a lot of, I can’t imagine if we tried to muscle it all alone. God will always send us people who would help us.

Put structures in place that make your life easier

With all the many roles that I play, while in bible school, I had to invest in getting a very good home tutor for my children, that is something I did myself, but I wasn’t going to be available to do it and I didn’t want  their academics to suffer for it, so I had to pay the price.

I also had to get an extra hand to help out with domestic chores. Women like to be perceived as being super, but you can only shine when your sanity is intact.

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Bulelwa Mpinda: What you received in prayer, maintain in prayer

“God has not postponed your elevation you have just paused your prayers”- Bulelwa Mpinda

Bulelwa Mpinda is the Chief Executive Officer of Young and Spiritually Inspired. As a young woman from South Africa who is in love with God, she aims to lead through her experiences and testimonies. A woman who is completely invested in the lane created for her, Bulelwa loves nature, traveling, art galleries,  poetry and writing. “I am a friend, a daughter, a sister, mentor and God’s Reflection” she says.

Bulelwa Mpinda

Bulelwa, can you briefly take us through your journey from past to present?

I am Bulelwa Mpinda a young woman aged 26, who is a daughter of the Most High God and the Chief Executive Officer and Founder of Young and Spiritually Inspired.

At the age of 3, I was adopted into the Mpinda family- the most loving, God fearing family. Prior to that I had stayed with different foster parents and at an orphanage. Growing up I found my self in love with writing, reading and loved watching Oprah! Little did I know that was preparing me for my destiny.

Due to lack of funds, after I matriculated I went straight into the work space. During that time I developed a keen interest in writing about issues relating to the youth, and so I decided to start a Facebook page and God lead it into a NGO which I called: Young and Spiritually Inspired.

Young and Spiritually inspired is a youth empowerment organisation which uses the digital space to help bring the lives of young people into alignment with God. What unites us best is the Love of God.

We don't impose change, we inspire and live the change that we want to see - Bulelwa Mpinda Click To Tweet

Christianity as a weapon to change the world. How have you been received so far by your target audience?

The key is to love people and to remain humble before you add titles to who you are. People relate to real people, the organization is the vessel through which we speak the truth of Gods love.

For instance, by reading about or attending our events many young people discover a new perspective to solving their issues. People have received us very well. We don’t impose change, we inspire and live the change that we want to see. The trick is to love God, be humble and let actions speak louder than words. 1 Timothy 4:12
Bulelwa Mpinda

Okay, before we go any further, how does an introvert manage to lay a foundation for a youth forum? How do you reach out to the youth?

I remember the days where I would battle with God about placing me on this path of leadership. It seemed insane that an introverted woman would be seen as fit enough to lead something of this nature.

But, God knew that He needed to work with my self -esteem, so He placed me in a position where I would need to confidently embrace the leadership role. When I was adopted by the most loving family who taught me about Him, God knew “Jeremiah 29:11” would be the signature of my life’s testimony.

God called me into Leadership in 2011 after I had just finished my Matric. At the time I loved poetry and writing,which I think was God’s way of helping me sharpen my craft for what was to come.

I never expected to create Young and Spiritually Inspired. In the early stages I battled with the concept of owning it. I’d literally shy away from this enormous task at hand because my comfort zone felt safe; this was a place where no one knew anything about me.

One thing our youth needs to learn is that owning any brand or business does not disqualify humility. This awareness has kept me sane throughout the 6 years of running this movement. People need to resonate with you as a human before you add titles, therefore, be authentic, be you.

I never tried to out run God by trying to fit in with what is called the “You can’t sit with us class”. I believe that one can’t inspire change when you isolate others, you need to mingle with those who strive to attain your goal.

People gravitate towards genuine souls, who they can talk to and confide in.

When you ask young people to speak out about their struggles you are essentially asking them to be vulnerable. How does Young and Spiritually Inspired emotionally protect these young people?

Young and Spiritually Inspired has created a forum of very real people. We don’t judge your experiences, we direct you to the Author and the Finisher of our faith only through love.

We had a collaborative event with a lady from Kenya. The event was primarily for women, and during that event we heard testimonies of women who had been to prison, women being abused and going into depression etc.

Essentially, Young and Spiritually Inspired has created a community of genuineness. At the end of the day people will never speak up if the feel uncomfortable. Vulnerability in Christ is the best way to go. The more we share our stories, we realize we are healing someone else through our testimony.


Bulelwa Mpinda

Bulelwa Mpinda, what will the world look like when you realize your YSI vision?

Our ultimate purpose is to lead a higher standard of life. The world will meet a Redeeming Saviour. Our light will expose people to Jesus and they will realise that they don’t need to settle in abusive relationships or situations that cause suffering. They need only to be guided by the standards of the Bible.

We want to eradicate the misconceptions around Christianity and being in Christ. We aim to travel throughout Africa and the globe to share our message with people. To help them realize that God is not allergic to their mess, but He can transform them, Revelations 12:11.

The world through the eyes of Young and Spiritually Inspired is healed from the pains and baggage we carry. People will love themselves more and know that they are worthy of being better versions of themselves.  We envision a youth that won’t settle for safe in anything they do because God will be their first priority.

What’s one thing your brain tries to make you do and you have to will yourself not to do it?

I am a deep thinker therefore my brain tells me a lot of things. Therefore, i have learnt to react prayerfully in all situations. I am a leader and the influence I impart to the world is massive. The way I speak and what or how I chose to answer are vital.

The enemy will want you to vent out or bring out your inhuman nature, yet God says, I’ve come to give you life abundantly. So when the brain and heart tells me to react impulsively, God always reminds me of the calling and the ministry.

I’ve also become very discerning about my friendships and I put my life under the microscope of heaven so Jesus may be glorified.

Instagram :@Bulelwa.mpinda

Facebook :Bulelwa Buli Mpinda

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