How to celebrate Valentines Day – with or without a Boo
With Valentines around the corner, Yes I’m sure you’ve seen the countless teddy bear, red roses and champagne combo begging for your attention. And being within the self-care era as a reigning champion. What are the options you could consider this Valentines? Single or not, you should have just as much fun as the next Motherland Mogul with or without a boo. There’s much to do outdoors (if you’re in a warm country) just as there is indoors for all the queens. You are a Motherland Mogul. And in case you’ve forgotten who she is, she knows what she wants and how to get it done. As a motherland mogul, you’re running your business/es- being a sister, a mother, a daughter, partner, or a wife. You have a lot on your plate and self-care sometimes falls last on that list. So how can you apply these strengths to having fun and unconventional day? [bctt tweet=”Wondering how to spend valentines day – with or without a boo? Here are some ideas…” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Be your own date You shouldn’t get anxious at the idea of spending time all by yourself. There’s so much beauty in taking a little pause for you. Valentine’s day is about showing affection, being sweet and thoughtful. Give all that love to yourself. Treat yourself like a queen, make that plate of pancakes and strawberries for breakfast, take a long stroll around your block and enjoy your company or even take that spa day you’ve always wanted. Create a vision board There’s so much power in visualizing the things you want to achieve in your life when you especially feel low- sometimes the anxiety of Valentines Day can leave you feeling some type of way. You could take a notebook and write down 3 things you’d like to achieve by the end of the week, Give yourself something to look forward to. So grab the magazines and start dreaming. Do this after work or during your lunch break. Grab your boo or a friend and visualize together. Doing this makes sure you have someone to hold you accountable on your promise. Share gifts with your loved ones The most amazing thing about giving gifts is that you made that someone feel special that day. This good karma will always come back to you when you least expect it. Try going for the less traditional route of valentines favorites- teddy bears, flowers and champagne. Be thoughtful in your efforts. Write a letter, visit your boo or friends and spend some quality time with them. We all just want to be seen. Cook a hearty dinner There’s something about good food that just cures the soul. You don’t need to be a foodie to understand just what I mean. Plus trying to make reservations on such a busy day is a struggle we don’t need, sis. Go on a grocery run with Bae or on your own. Queue a great show or movie to watch after your lovely dinner and mellow out. You can have major fun taking it slow too. Book an AirBnB sleepover with your girls You can never have too much fun with your girls. Especially when there’s a bottle of bubbly involved. Make a great girls night in playing games and gossiping the night away with some wine and pizza. You don’t need to go too crazy with the budget, find something in your town, just try something new and fun with your friends Work on your New Years resolutions New Years came and went, leaving most of us to make resolutions for the new year. Why not try to execute that one thing you haven’t worked on. Having a better idea of how you feel about 2019 and what you’re trying to achieve. Re-evaluate what you had listed and where you are now, maybe you wanted to go to a yoga or aerobics class or said you’d call your mom more. Attain at least two of your resolutions and challenge yourself to keep it going for 2019 Pursue your passion Life can get overwhelming- meetings, play dates, parent-teacher conferences, family. We juggle a lot as motherland mogul and we are the last ones we check on. The show has to keep running right? Think of a passion project you have always wanted to accomplish. Write that blog, Start that course, work on that business proposal. See this as an opportunity to be proactive, a chance for you to do you and feel no guilt. Interested in contributing for She Leads Africa? Click here.
The tales of a disgruntled miss Independent
My friend is going through that phase where she is panicking about whether she will ever find the man of her dreams. I keep telling her “Girl, chill out, the sea is not empty yet”. She recently went on a date with this new guy she is seeing, and now she knows what she wants in life, and I admire her so much for that. Before she even goes on a date with a guy, she has to have conversated with him for a while and after the first date, if she is not feeling it, she is not the “Let’s see where it can go” type of girl. Maybe that’s why she is not married yet. Anyway, I asked her, “How did this one go? Do you think he is the one?”, she stared into space and after a while replied, “Yea he might be, but he asked me if we should do Dutch”. I also paused and stared into space, what does that mean, I thought. “So, for the rest of the date, we ended up talking about doing Dutch and women becoming more independent.” So, “do Dutch”, basically means splitting the bill. This made me ponder about a statement I once read which said – “These days women are now becoming the men they once dreamt of marrying”. Unfortunately, I can’t help but feel like that’s somewhat true. Why is it that many women don’t rely on men as much anymore, is it because we don’t need them, is it because they are not providing what we are seeking? Is a man no longer a man if he can’t provide? Should women turn down their independence just to maintain the man’s ego? [bctt tweet=”Women are now becoming the men they once dreamt of marrying” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] That’s a flat out, big NO for me. Women have been oppressed and have had their rights suppressed for a long time. Now that we have more privileges and equal opportunities, some men and women are slightly uncomfortable with our liberation. So much so that some women feel the need to hide their ambition. There is something endearing about being humble, but there is a difference in taming yourself down because some people are uncomfortable with your star qualities. [bctt tweet=”You don’t win by playing small” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] There are men out there who feel threatened if their woman is earning more than them and they feel like they are not enough. If a man feels threatened by your independence, then those are his insecurities he needs to work on, not yours. You shouldn’t have to pretend to be less just to please him. The independence of a woman can often destroy a man’s masculinity. There is absolutely nothing wrong in building together with your man, he makes his own money and you make your own too. There is also nothing wrong with sitting back and letting your man treat you and you doing the same for him. As long as the woman is not putting down her man because she is richer or more powerful than him, a happy, balanced, healthy relationship can be boded. These are just some of the things you suss out when you begin dating someone, are they comfortable with you being the bomb ass woman that you are, can they handle you, what does their ego say about you being this boss chick? It is as simple as asking your potential suitor those direct questions. Society depicts that the man should be the main provider of a family. As women, we should allow the man to be who he is and who he is destined to be. Our life’s purpose does not take priority over his your opinions don’t matter more because you have more money or are more powerful than he is. In relationships, you often have to compromise yourself and compromising is not betrayal. When you find yourself having to kill your true, authentic, hardworking, go-getter self, its yourself you’re betraying. You don’t have to kill who you are to please your counterpart. Independent women are often deemed as high maintenance, sometimes greedy and their standards are too high. Well if you don’t set boundaries or standards you will settle for whatever is handed to you in life and you will never be fulfilled. Having said all this not all men think the same. Sometimes men want more than just an independent successful woman with her own money. Hopefully, there is more to you than just your successes. What are your family values, what are you like as a person without all your accomplishments? Are you really this well rounded independent successful woman in all areas of your life. It may not be your independence and success that’s putting men off you. It’s a matter of looking inwardly, are you really this gracious, strong Queen you say you are? [bctt tweet=”Standards only scare off people who are not willing to make an effort with you.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] We were all put on this earth for a different purpose and we each have a duty to fulfill our purposes before we die, whether we become richer or more powerful than our male counterpart and vice versa. You never need to tone down your ambition. Some men will take pride in having a woman who works for her own because even an independent successful woman still has her vulnerabilities. After all, she is human. Got an article you’d like to share with us? Share your story with us here.