She Leads Africa

Eva Toby: How To Stay Empowered When You Feel Life Sucks!

Eva Toby is an Amazon Bestselling author, media personality and presenter. With a degree in psychology and Masters in Social Work from the University of Michigan, and an MBA, Eva is passionate about helping women and young adults bring clarity to their purpose. She is the creator of The Purpose Blueprint: 7 Easy Steps to Clarity. Eva has been featured in Genevieve Magazine, Afro Elle, Spice TV, LA Talk Radio, WHPR and more! Eva is 6ft tall and has modeled part-time for the past 10 years as a car model for Ford, General Motors and Chrysler, getting premier access to some of the fastest cars in the world.  In this article, she talks about overcoming challenges and finding her purpose.  On creating “The Purpose Factor” book… If someone had told me several years ago I would be a best-selling author and purpose pusher, I probably would have laughed.  However, it’s always fascinating how God truly knows things way ahead and has greater purposeful plans for us even when it comes out of tragedy. I was led to create The Purpose Factor book after the sudden death of my dear cousin in 2014.  With my emotions being all over the place from a state of shock, sadness, and confusion. I found it really hard to cope after experiencing such a significant loss.   I remember one day picking up my bible to read for encouragement, and it was at that moment these notes had fallen out. The notes were actually from a message, two years prior, that I’d shared with a youth group at church about the significance of living life to the fullest and making your time here on earth count! [bctt tweet=”There is no growth in your comfort zone – @evatobyXE” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”]  Notably, I’d read my bible so many times prior to that and never realized I kept those notes tucked away in my bible binder. It just goes to show the significance of the timing. At that point, I remember this resurgence of passion and desire of sharing with the world the Power of Purpose. And I wanted to get the message across that each person on this earth is valued and has an assignment. I realized how life is so precious and fragile.   And that ‘Time’ is not money but life! Hence, it is imperative that we maximize our time here in order to be of value and impactful. The Purpose Factor book was dedicated to my cousin who indeed lived life to fullest and impacted so many lives. On facing life challenges… The past few years have indeed been life changing and challenging to say the least.  From the loss of my cousin, and then another cousin. And then, I lost my father in 2016. Experiencing such significant losses in a span of a few years has been indescribable.   Couple that with trying to stay focused on building my brand/business, it was not easy. But one thing I learned through this process that keeps me going is that even in pain there is still a purpose.  As painful as the process has been, I realized God still has me here for a reason and wants me to keep going. [bctt tweet=”I firmly believe that passion is for “yourself” while purpose is for “others” – @evatobyXE” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Perhaps there may be someone out there that will hear my story and be encouraged to keep going despite the circumstances and challenges they are facing.   I learned that in life we all have seasons, and every season has an expiry date. It is the endurance during those seasons that prepares and makes us stronger for the rest of our journey in life. 3 ways women can stay empowered… Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, broken relationships, loss of job, or personal struggles, rough times happen to everyone at some point in life.   Trying to remain hopeful and positive through it all can be challenging. Especially when overshadowed with feelings of confusion and loss which begin to resonate so deeply. [bctt tweet=”Never curse the process!  Your purpose is a product of the process – @evatobyXE” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] While you may feel like you are in a hopeless space it is essential to be reminded you are not.  You are in a season of transition and need to remember there is a breakthrough on the other side of the breakdown. Below are 3 ways you can stay empowered when you feel life is taking its toll on you: 1.  Acknowledge Your Feelings  Almost everyone at some point has had that feeling of hopelessness and despair. The truth of the matter is that it is OK. We are all human and embracing your vulnerability is the first step to reclaiming your power.  Remember acceptance is not a sign of weakness and by no means an indication that you don’t desire change. But rather than suppress those feelings, acknowledgment gives you the confidence to deal with them and start making a way for something new to emerge in your life. 2. Have An Attitude of Gratitude  There is so much power when we cultivate an attitude of gratitude in our daily lives.  Research studies have shown the positive impact on people who focus on gratitude. Gratitude facilitates increased self-esteem, optimism, happiness, improved mental health, progress towards goal achievement, increased energy and more.   Therefore, it is important to start making gratitude a daily ritual. You can start by creating a gratitude journal for yourself. Each morning and/or evening tries to think of at least two things you are grateful for in that moment. 3. Look for Opportunities of Growth When life hits us hard, we are often led to start with “why me?” or “why is this happening?”  It’s natural at first but if we dawdle in this space for too long, it can lead us further onto the pathway of self-pity.   Hence the importance of changing the narrative from “why” to “what”. Start thinking about “what”