She Leads Africa

Why the way you speak to yourself matters

Woman in mirror

Many times, we find ourselves having a conversation with ourselves. We sometimes do it subconsciously but what you don’t know is, self-talk has a great impact on your life, your career and your business. Your inner voice and what you tell yourself contributes tremendously to how you react to several things in your day to day life. Self-talk can be the negative self-talk or the positive self-talk. As a business woman, I find ways to encourage myself on a daily basis. Whether I am exercising in the morning or heading into meeting, I find positive self-talk a great motivator. Words like ‘you can do it’, ‘blow them away’ and ‘go girl’ are words that I use to encourage myself to achieve goals I set out to do. For instance, if you are going for a meeting, you check yourself in the mirror and think, ‘ I look so fat in this dress’ , don’t be surprised by how your day will start. You will be conscious of yourself, you will think everyone is looking at you and you will not exude confidence. You have brought down your self-confidence with negative self-talk. However, if you step out and go‘ I look too good for them not to give me that deal’, you have already set a positive tone to your day. You will kick ass with confidence. You will feel good about yourself and it will show in your work. Why is positive self-talk important? 1. Motivation and inspiration When you say something positive to yourself, you not only motivate yourself to keep pushing but you also force yourself to act. Whether it’s finishing a proposal late at night, or the early morning run, if you convince yourself with words like ‘I can do this’ or I can run an extra two miles’, you will find yourself achieving these goals because you inner voice is telling you to. 2. Build self-confidence The positive inner voice helps you build self-esteem and confidence.  Your words will make you feel good. When you feel good about yourself, the better your mood will be and your performance will greatly improve. Confidence is very crucial especially in business as it enables entrepreneurs perform well in stressful situations. It enables them build networks with ease and helps them to sell their ideas and make others believe in them. 3. Being in control Positive self-talk enables you to be in control. When you say ‘I am made to do this’, it trumps the negative self-talk that sabotages your day and distracts you as you work. With positive words, you are in control of the day. Soon enough, you will find that with more positive self-talk, you will react to things differently. Things that used to make you angry will not annoy you anymore. When you are in control of your emotions , you are more likely to live a happy and fulfilled life. We all struggle with the negative self-talk. The negative voice in your head sometimes comes out very strong and convinces you that you cannot do it. It creates self-doubt. Have a mantra you can live by, and whenever you start listening to the negative voices, say it over and over again. Slowly, the negative voice will vanish.