As Motherland Moguls, we know that every kobo, pesewa, and cent counts while chasing your dreams. So while we love our friends, going out often can be a financial burden. If you’re fortunate (or unfortunate – you choose) enough to live in an isolated town where eating out requires an hour commute to the city center, then you must be doing your fair share of saving. If you live in a major city – Lagos, Johannesburg, Nairobi – that new pop up down the road that sells overpriced cereal is tempting.
To add to all of this, we all have that friend who always wants to eat out. But there are days when you really know you cannot afford to go out but don’t want them to know you’re skint. Yes, we know that, cause we’ve been there and had to come up excuses like 10 below.
1. “I didn’t do my BVN so my card is not working”
This applies if you live in Nigeria, or all your money is deposited in a Nigerian account. If that is the case, you have the new banking policies to thank for this excuse.
2. “Oh, I’ve been eating at *insert restaurant name” too much”
This excuse could come back and bite you, as it insinuates you go out to eat often.
In the same vein, you could be left with the burden of deciding what restaurant, which leaves you with two options: either suggest somewhere so awful that you know nobody would agree to venturing near, or suggest something completely different and free!
3. “I forgot my card at home”
This only works if you are actually out and about with them, or in their house and you have not brought out your card at all. This also means if you are dying for a bottle of water – no can do.
4. “Sorry, I have an appointment/meeting.”
Please do not Snapchat anything other than your coffee mug after making this excuse.
5. “Oh my gosh, I wish you had told me earlier, I just ate and I AM STUFFED!”
This works better with people who do not know you that well. Why? Because if you love food the way I love food, then your friends know the truth and will know you’re lying.
6. “I’ve been really busy, and need to take time out to rest”
I like this one because even if all you’re doing is watching show re-runs with a tub of ice-cream, it makes you sounds somewhat important and occupied with life.
This is less of an excuse and more of a genuine reason. Again, stay away from Snapchat.
7. “My parents want me home”
This excuse varies in effectiveness based on your age. But if you and your friends are from traditional African homes, I’m sure it would have a decent level of effectiveness.
8. “I’m not feeling too well” – ties in with number 6
I’m slightly wary about this one because it may come to pass. However, if you’re have a little headache, a little exaggeration would not hurt.
9. “Stuck in school/work/at a family event… rain check?”
It’s always nice when an excuse has a reason behind it, followed by the possibility of rescheduling. This is probably the most respectful of the bunch.
10. * Phone on flight mode * “Did not get your call/message, my phone just does that.”
Not a big fan of this one. I think we can all agree it’s pretty rude. But a friend suggested this and it worked. It also helps to remember all the money you are saving from ignoring those calls and messages…
Business Tip: Anytime you cancel on your friends, put that money into your savings accounts. It always pays to pay yourself first, ladies.
This is the funniest thing I’ve read all day. Won’t he do it! These excuses work fine for me.
I hate to start off the new year lying but this will do.
Haha! The BVN one tho.
*DEAD* These memes though. You guys are clowns.
hahaha – i forgot my card at home, i lost my card, the dog ate my card <— this is MEEEE
Lool I definitely need these in my life right now!
i forgot my card is my line. lol