Building a community of black women in Amsterdam
[bctt tweet=”Black women everywhere need to congregate to celebrate our dopeness and support each other” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] “Black women are made out of brown sugar, cocoa, honey and gold And the strength of ten thousand moons” #Blackgirlmagic is one of the top trending hashtags of 2016. Created by CaShawn Thompson, “Black Girl Magic” illustrates a feeling that some of us have known all along, that black women are universally awesome and it is impossible to count all the ways that we are dope, inspiring and mind-blowing. I am a firm believer in the idea that black women everywhere, at every opportunity, ought to congregate to celebrate our dopeness, to support each other in living out our fullest potentials and to find ways to be there for each other. If we don’t have our backs then who will? The Amsterdam experience When I moved to Amsterdam in 2011, beyond the beauty of the city and the openness and sense of freedom I experienced, one thing that also struck me was how “white” the city was. Now I’m not saying that it was a negative experience from the beginning, but the truth is that most times I was the only black girl in my classes at the University of Amsterdam, in a café in the city centre or at my job…and it got lonely really quickly. When I would encounter another black person, it felt like finding an oasis in the desert and I would try to make the most of the encounter, unsure of when it would happen again. During these times I often wondered where the black people in the city congregated and if there were any spaces in the city where I could just walk into and not feel out place. I eventually came to the conclusion that there weren’t and so I set out to find or co-create a space where black women in Amsterdam could feel safe and secure enough to meet and share stories from their personal and professional lives with like-minded women. [bctt tweet=”The Amsterdam Black Women’s Network was formed to provide community for black women” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] As the saying goes, “Seek and you shall find” Almost 4 years after I moved to Amsterdam, through luck and determination, one evening I found myself sitting at a table with four amazing, talented and courageous black women from America, Jamaica and Bermuda. We had all been looking for the same thing since we moved to Amsterdam and by the end of our discussion, that evening the foundations of the Amsterdam Black Women’s Network had been formed. In a year, our numbers grew from the 5 founders to a community of over 100 women in and around the greater Amsterdam Area. We recently asked some of our members to share their experiences since they joined the group and these are some of the stories we gathered. It’s been hard to feel part of a community “Co-creating Amsterdam Black Women was a way for me to connect to other like minded women from all over the world, and also help to provide a community where we can share experiences and resources. Our group is becoming about collaboration and support for all of us and I’m here for that. I love that we are now starting to connect and help each other in all our different endeavours.” “What I love most about this group is how it brings together all these dope black women who are doing great things who can serve as a source of friendship, inspiration and support for each other! So excited to see us grow together.” “I have lived here for seven years and have tried everything to meet awesome black people but it’s been hard to feel part of a community. This is something I really need in my life and it comes at a great time. Thanks again for taking initiative. Also it’s so great that the group is so inclusive. It’s important that people feel safe in such a group.” “There’s something special about being able being able to turn up in a foreign land and find a community with whom you know you’ll be understood and accepted, where you’re just allowed to be your unadulterated self.” “I like the multi-faceted events, i.e. book clubs, going to the club, brunch, shopping, visioning, etc. I also like that I get to meet black women from all parts of the diaspora: UK, Netherlands, US, France, Germany, etc.” [bctt tweet=”Our motto is simple: Connect, Belong, Soar – Bringing #blackgirlmagic to Amsterdam” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Our motto is simple: Connect, Belong, Soar We are here to create a space where black women can be amongst others who fully share and understand their experience. With the Amsterdam Black Women’s network, we envision a community that is centred on empathy and support that provides a non-judgemental space of communion for those who enter. We want to facilitate growth and support of goals while nurturing inner strength. We aim to be a space of service and advocacy. It’s not easy juggling full-time jobs, families and other commitments while trying to build a group that achieves all of the stated objectives and strives to become a staple in the black community in Amsterdam. But from the sounds of it, we are well on our way and so we will keep putting in the work because #blackgirlmagic. If you are ever in Amsterdam, please look us up on Facebook, Instagram or email us. We would love to welcome you into our little family, show you our Amsterdam and most importantly ensure that you have a place that where you can go that feels like home.
Wheel a mile in my chair: Living life to the fullest
[bctt tweet=”Overcoming the pain of loss is an intricate process that requires time” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Wheel a mile in my chair…what comes to mind when you hear this clever turn of phrase? It definitely needs greater clarification. You’ve heard the expression; walk a mile in my shoes right? Well, I am making a bold attempt to draw out specific lessons from my experiences living with a spinal cord injury and being confined to a wheelchair —and that lesson is, appreciating life whatever situation one might find themselves whilst overcoming the crippling devastation from pain and loss. Have you ever stared at the ceiling contemplating what turn your life has taken? Have you ever dragged yourself out of bed in the hopes that today will differ from the previous hours of excruciating boredom and listlessness? Each minute seems to pass by with minuscule expectation of reminders of the little joys in life; of a purpose…or dreams once shared. At times, people look around and feel a deep, ‘justified’ dissatisfaction with their current situation. Despite the job, house, relationship, rate of family expansion, choice or non-choice of partner, non-existence of a lover, even the absence of precious ‘me’ time. Countless minutes are spent trying to comprehend how things are not progressing like they should. How one day a person can feel like they are on the apex of a mountain and the next, plunge themselves into helplessness and despair. I am no stranger to moments such as these and I am a hundred times certain that you aren’t either. I challenge you to view the title of this article as a truth View it as definitive sentiment. A mantra that can possibly shape, nay alter your perspective during the troubling times. Those palpable moments of paralysing doubt, soul-crushing fear and nagging bouts of self-loathing and self-pity. [bctt tweet=”Wheel a mile in my chair is a mantra that can alter your perspective during troubling times” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Striving for perfection is certainly no fool’s errand. Experiencing all these turbulent, crippling emotions is natural. But dwelling and revelling in them will not only hinder personal growth but actually contribute to the perceived obstacles that seem to be ripping your dreams and aspirations to shreds. My life used to have a somewhat defined path; a certain structure that could fit all my hopes, dreams and desires. I wanted to have a cushy job by the age of 25 and a car with a chauffeur. A nice little ‘nest egg’ for rainy days and free time to write, read, practice bikram yoga and chill on the beach with my amigos. Alas, it took a drastic, unexpected, catastrophic detour. Gone were those carefree days. As soon as the doctor gave the tragic diagnosis and said the wheelchair would be my new mode of transportation, I had to recalibrate my understanding of my circumstances. How could I possibly overcome this type of loss? What tools of the mind would be strong enough to defeat this level of excruciating agony? First course of action was to open the floodgates to let my turbulent emotions through. Express every dark thought buried under hazy recalls of the traumatic events surrounding my injury. I needed to purge everything in a safe place —to my therapist, mother, father, sister and brother. Next, I decided to focus on recuperating, retraining my brain to carry out simple tasks of sitting up, changing position in bed with great caution, preventing my atrophying leg muscles from weakly falling and hitting the handle rails of the ‘cosy’ hospital beds. Each task became a challenge, an opportunity to overcome the reality that I was experiencing at the time. [bctt tweet=”Everyday was a struggle but I had too much to live for.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] No more dwelling in pits of depression and defeat I had an exercise schedule with goals to achieve. I tried to celebrate the little things like deciding to take the brave step to wear make-up or flirt with a cute occupational therapist. The possibility of seeing myself as a sensual being that could be loved seemed inconceivable. Everyday was a struggle but I had too much to live for. The outpouring of love and support from well-wishers served as fuel to facilitate the process of healing and restoration. Months of intensity, working through the neuropathic pain so I could start ticking things off my bucket list. Live in Southern California, go to Universal Studios and ride a roller-coaster for the first time since 4/21/14; go to Warner Bros and experience the joys of filmmaking, meet all the famous people that are making a difference; perfect my writing skills. Geographically, my list extended to the Napa Valley, Sausalito, San Francisco, Vegas, ATL, San Jose and Rancho Santa Fe. My world opened up drastically and the spots of darkness grew smaller as the light of hope began to overshadow them. [bctt tweet=”The key to dusting off the “funk” was to allow the waves of emotions to wash over me” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Dusting off the funk The key to dusting off the “funk” was not to revel in it but to allow the waves of emotions to wash over me. Pushing forward to better moments helped heal me from the inside until joy emanated from every single pore. Overcoming the pain of loss is an intricate process that requires time. By drawing on different sources of strength, both internal and external, moments of doubt and helplessness became few and far between. Experiencing all these things is part and parcel of human condition. By looking beyond the darkness to the ray of hope at the end of the tunnel, peace and tranquillity can and will be achieved. Love. Laughter. Camaraderie. Literally enjoying your simple pleasures. Conquering the demons in and out of the mirror will be an attainable feat for any courageous individual trying to restore the shattered pieces of their souls back together.
What to do if you are aiming for a board seat
[bctt tweet=”A board position is not out of your reach if you play your cards right.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Landing a seat on a corporate board is a well grounded career path for any successful woman executive. Not only will it expose you to a quality network of high profile individuals but it can also be a viable way to use your experience and skills to serve at a very high level. Serving as a director can also be a good post retirement gig. According to a report by Africa Development bank (AfDB), women make up only 14.4% of boards of blue chip companies in Africa. If you want to get on a board of directors at some point in your career you have to be intentional about your career experiences. Here are six tips that can help you tick this well-regarded role off your career bucket list. 1. Consider your motivation Being a board of directors is prestigious and can open lots of other opportunities for you. However, you should want it for the right reasons. It is more than the prestige and the status. A more noble reason would be wanting to make a valuable contribution using the skills and experience you have amassed during your career. Being clear about why you want a seat is very important because you will be able to answer questions such as which positions that you are interested in, what your value proposition will be and how your interests, experience, strengths align to a director position. You will then be able to establish your goals and the strategy that will get you there. [bctt tweet=”Being on a board of directors is more than the prestige and the status” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 2. Work on your personal brand and gain work experience Landing a seat at the table is is usually reserved for older executives who have several years of experience in their field. You have to earn extensive experience in your field. Embrace every opportunity to work with a board of directors, even if it means just presenting or serving in an advisory role. To improve your chances of landing this role, establish yourself as an expert in your field. Be visible by taking up speaking engagements, building a blog and a community around your brand. Review how the careers of successful board members progressed. How did their careers progress and what can you emulate? A simple search online will get you good answers on these questions. 3. Start networking These positions are not advertised so it is important for you to know people in similar roles. It is board members who already serve on company boards who are approached for similar roles. Connect and develop relationships with board members. Get help from them on how to how to craft your CV for a board seat. Let them know that you are interested in a position if it comes up. That way, when the next position opens, you might just get recommended for it. 4. Don’t be afraid to start small You probably won’t start off on a board of a public company. You will have to start off by serving on a smaller company board or a start-up. Even the small roles might still be hard to find and you will have get your name out there and let people know that you are interested in such roles. Volunteering for a board position at a local non-profit might be your gateway to your career aspirations. 5. Start your own business Entrepreneurs are attractive people for roles on a board of directors because they have worn too many hats in their career. Starting and running a successful business equips you with a lot of skills ranging from goal setting, strategic planning, financial acumen, industry knowledge, problem solving, that are invaluable to a a board. [bctt tweet=”Did you know that entrepreneurs are attractive people for roles on a board of directors?” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Most people who were able to get board positions at an early age did so because of a successful business that they helped set up and grow. So why not do the same? 6. Training There are several courses you can consider to improve your skills. It is important to note that you will not be hired for a board position solely on the basis of training. Find out where your weaknesses are and compensate these with formal training. For example, if you’re short on financial skills and corporate governance, you could consider getting training in those areas. There are also specific courses for aspiring directors that you could pursue. Women stand a bigger chance and there’s a higher demand by stakeholders to have more diverse boards. A board position is not out of your reach if you play your cards right.
Spicing up your hustle if your passion has grown cold
[bctt tweet=”A lot us have moments in our career/business where there just seems to be no inspiration” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Let’s be honest, you have probably hit a moment in your hustle where you think; If only I could just live in my bed for the rest of my life. Well, rest assured you are in good company, because of a lot us have a moment in our career, business or social project where there just seems to be no inspiration. Well, if you happen to be going through that, here are some tips that might help 1. Take a break Its most likely that the work you are currently doing has either become so routine or overwhelming that you have not had a moment to step back and evaluate or just break from your labour. It is absolutely necessary to take some time off. If you can manage it, email and phone less to refocus on the priorities of the work you do and gain well needed energy to do it better. When constantly engaged in the small details of how you work, you miss the opportunity to step back and have a bird’s eye approach to give you a sense of clarity and purpose to what you do. If you can’t manage a vacation, try to allocate some time to doing less engaging activities “after hustle hours” to re-energize and recuperate so you can apply yourself better tomorrow. [bctt tweet=”If you can’t manage a vacation, try to find time for less engaging activities after hustle hours” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 2. Get some online inspiration Other than watching Solange’s videos on repeat, there are amazing videos that can help bring some passion into your life. There are avenues like TED talks from amazing African people doing incredible work. Since you might not be able to attend an expensive conference or have the time for it, the internet offers many lit resources too when looking for exceptional people to learn from. 3. Hang with the squad Having a solid established friendship circle on dial can really help when you are having a rough time. You do not need to talk about the issues you might be having, however it helps to be in a more relaxed environment and focus of the lack of passion you might be feeling. Meeting people who might be passionate about other activities around you could ignite it in you and leave you feeling inspired. Even if you don’t leave feeling woke, you had an awesome time out and a good laugh which always helps. [bctt tweet=”Meeting people who might be passionate about other activities around you could ignite” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 4. Volunteer No, its not about your CV. Looking for causes that you truly care about help you remove attention from the grind. These causes are always passion initiators. Humans do well when we feel we are contributing to our community. It might not be necessarily anything monumental, however causes related to your area of expertise or interest can push you to think outside of yourself and needs and focus on others. This will bring a new found purpose to anything you do —even the mundane job. Volunteering can also help you gain new skills to break the routine of your daily work. 5. Talk about your passion Focusing on the things that excite versus the things that don’t, helps you move attention from the negative vibes. Falling into the trap of constant complaints won’t help break the wall you might be facing. Try to think about the things that thrill you. Doing this may inspire you to find ways to do those things; like reaching a new income target or getting new clients. You’ll likely to see the silver lining more than everything else that makes you feel uninterested. [bctt tweet=”Constantly complaining won’t bring inspiration your way but these 6 steps will” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 6. Take up a class Most of the time we look for hardcore courses, however that probably don’t bring the motivation you might be looking for it. It will also look a lot like your current job. I challenge you to do something that might not benefit you in terms of the work you are involved in, like a dance/zumba or a language class. If you really can’t help it because you are a boss lady, go for a leadership course or communications class, something that will open up your mind and bring some diversity into your routine. These will help get you into the right kind of mindset for the work you are doing plus you get to meet new people and learn a new thing. Challenge yourself to do new things. So next time, don’t let the lack of passion get you down, you have many great avenues to start it going again. Keep on SLAying!
Would you move abroad in pursuit of the career of your dreams?
[bctt tweet=”Adulting is a journey of OMG laced with moments of YAAAAAAS and degrees of ‘I can do the thing’” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] I’m pretty sure many of us reach a point in our lives where we reevaluate some of our life choices. We finish high school and get accepted into tertiary institutions and study what we think we would like to be for the rest of our lives. But who knows what they really want to become when they’re a teen choosing their core subjects whilst dealing with puberty, boy drama and growing pains? Adulting and its woes Adulting and traversing the world of work is a journey of OMG laced with moments of YAAAAAAS and varying degrees of ‘I can do the thing’. So when the going gets tough and mind starts racing, one does consider that the grass may be greener on the other side. Releasing guilt and embracing our efforts as enough, and mistakes as lessons is often our biggest challenge and triumph. If I was granted the opportunity to go abroad in pursuit of a career that I want, well… Bye Felicia We have all at some point felt like everything is working against us and not with us. A lot of us align ourselves to the internalized propaganda that exists in order make us doubt our intuition and the choices which we dare to make. We can no longer silence the need for new and greater possibilities that exist outside of our paradigm. Presented with the opportunity to go abroad I would defs jump onto that bandwagon. [bctt tweet=”Presented with the opportunity to go abroad I would defs jump onto that bandwagon.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Don’t need no hateration, holleration There is absolutely no place for nursing prolonged feelings of doubt in this vocation dancery. For the longest time, women have continuously denied themselves the opportunity to flourish because they can. There has almost always been a reason why one should think things through and why one ought not to go ahead and flex on that new portfolio. We need to block out the negativity and the trolls that continue with the ‘pull her down’ syndrome. For this reason, we also ought to take time for small consistent acts of self-care and self-kindness which will grant us the daily ability to can. When one has opened oneself to the endless growth opportunities at their disposal there are a few things one needs to look into. These include what is more pivotal between a remuneration structure and job satisfaction? What are you willing to do regarding the roles and responsibilities which may come with the position? Will you be able to handle the responsibilities which come with the chosen career path? [bctt tweet=”We need to block out the negativity and the trolls” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] We are reminded over and over again, the importance of setting boundaries and respecting our limits. But sometimes we ought to push just a little harder, for a bit longer. Sometimes we must just be strong and pull ourselves towards ourselves until we conquer the proverbial Mount Frustration-Doubt-Anxiety. ‘J’ is for job; but also for jet setter So if I were offered the opportunity to go work abroad and pursue an accolade-worthy career, I would not think it through twice! Even if there may lie challenges ahead and irrespective of the adjustments I would have to make and despite any reservations; I am sure of one thing. It. Gets. Better. This doesn’t even warrant an explanation. Then the only thing left to do would be to… WERQ! [bctt tweet=”I am sure of one thing. It. Gets. Better. Then the only thing left to do would be to… WERQ! ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Conscious growth and dedication to a cause may require all of the patience, trusting the process and effort 100%, all the damn time! The understanding that sometimes we may not feel like doing the work, but we will anyway and the effort will be worth it —tenfold! At the end of it all; we will feel more enriched and empowered than we ever thought we might be. So, if you have a chance to move abroad don’t even think twice. Go get that career of your dreams!
Congratulations!! Here is your degree and 15 extra pounds
[bctt tweet=”We were warned about the Freshman 15. It was the Senior 15 that no one told us about.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Am I the only one who wants a special refund from my alma mater for the additional pounds it added to my body? I can’t be the only one…please tell me you guys understand the struggle! That special struggle where you wish you could rewind time and not eat a whole tub of ice cream at 3am to compensate for failing that exam. Or the countless celebratory late-night dinners with friends for making it through the semester. Or if you were like me, you treated yourself for even the slightest victories! (I woke up for my 8am class today and actually went to class! I deserve a cupcake #TreatYoself) In the defence of all our alma maters, we were heavily warned about the Freshman 15. It was the Senior 15 that no one told us about. The stress eating mixed with having no time to work out, left most of us walking across the stage on graduation day with our brains full of knowledge, our hearts full of hope for the future, our pockets weighed down by student loans…and our hips a little more rounder with 15 extra pounds. So now here you are, a year or two out of college and wondering how to get your college body back. Or you are a mother of two or more adorable children and even though you love those precious kids, you low key give them the side eye for stealing your pre-motherhood body. All hope is not lost ladies, we shall overcome. Here are 5 unconventional tips to help you us get your our body back. 1. Accept that your body is changing as you grow I know! That’s a hard pill to swallow, but we don’t have the same metabolism as we used to when we were 16. The sooner we accept that and move on, the better. You know how we try to stay up late till 2am to prove to these youngins that we are not grandma’s? A lot of us treat our metabolisms like that, we live in denial, refusing to accept that our body is taking five hours to burn the puff puff we ate earlier. Embrace the fact that your bedtime is now 9:30pm and embrace your new metabolism. Accept the body you have now, love it, own it and werk at it. 2. Unfollow the Instagram fitness models Well not all of them, but some of them have to go. These Instagram fitness models are supposed to motivate you, not duplicate you. [bctt tweet=”These Instagram fitness models are supposed to motivate you, not duplicate you. ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Stop comparing yourself to the model who doesn’t have a regular 9-5 and can afford to devote three hours a day to staying fit. Or the girl who has a personal chef who cooks healthy meals for her. Instead, find people who actually mirror the life you live. Follow the mom of five who incorporates working out into her busy mommy schedule. Or if you are a recent graduate juggling two jobs and you want to be fit, find some motivation that looks like you. 3. Find ways to UNINTENTIONALLY burn fat If you wait to love exercising in order to reach your fitness goals, you will be waiting forever. The reason most of us hate exercise is because of the effort and the brain fuel that it takes. First you gotta find a gym, find some cute work out clothes (because the calories don’t count unless you are wearing Beyonce’s athletic line). And then you now have to find a gym buddy who wont flake on you at the last minute. Oh and don’t forget finding the perfect playlist and then actually remembering to bring your headphones along with you to the gym. Did that tire anyone else out?? The loop hole is to trick your brain into burning fat without it thinking you are exerting effort. Take the stairs instead of the elevator Park further to your job and walk to work. Do 20 squats before bed. Buy a jump rope and actually use it. 4. Food is not your enemy I know its easy to blame food as your jeans fit tighter and tighter, but food is not your enemy. Its actually your greatest ally in your quest to get your body back. [bctt tweet=”Food is actually your greatest ally in your quest to get your body back” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Understanding your metabolism is the first step. Not only does our metabolisms slow down as we grow older but if you are a #MotherlandMogul, then your days have also gotten busier. AND making matters worse, majority of us spend our work day sitting behind a desk, we are rarely in motion in our 9-5. This highlights the importance of eating well. Its the one thing we can do consistently, so do it well. 5. You are the only one keeping you from your #BodyGoals I know I started this off by blaming my alma mater, but the truth is ladies, we are the only ones who could get our bodies back. [bctt tweet=”The main thing to remember is that you are your own body goals” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] You hold the key (DJ Khaled voice). And the main thing to remember is that you are your own body goals. You should love your body so much that you only want YOUR body back. Not Teyana Taylor’s body, even though she is all kind of goals right now.
Making #MotherlandMoguls money savvy: The big bad B-word of personal finance
[bctt tweet=”Smart budgeting is how you get rid of the guilty feelings that come from spending” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] “Budgeting is fun!” Said no one ever…oh wait; that’s actually what renowned Personal Financial Management Guru Bob Lotich says. The first time I read that I laughed myself silly and with good reason. However, the more I read his thoughts the more I understood what he was talking about. You know that feeling you get when you spend money that you don’t have, to do something that is probably not that important, like buying yourself a new pair of stilettos. That feeling that lets you know that in a couple of days or weeks you’re going to regret spending your money like that? It will probably come to you when you don’t have cash for fuel a couple of days to payday. Or when you have to borrow money for lunch or fare, or both to take you through the last stretch of the month. That’s when you remember the money you spent on those stilettos and how absolutely unnecessary it was. Guilt, that’s what that feeling is called and budgeting is how you get rid of that feeling. It’s liberating to know that you are buying a new pair of shoes or a new dress or going out for a drink when you know that you set aside some money specifically for that purpose. Either you do, or you don’t Generally, when it comes to budgeting people fall into three broad categories. You either don’t do it at all and you spend as need or want arises. Or, you budget only for the fixed major expenses like mortgage, rent, school fees etc. Or you’ve got budgeting OCD as far as your money is concerned and you have to know exactly how every shilling you have is going to be spent. [bctt tweet=”Generally, when it comes to budgeting people fall into three broad categories.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] I fall in the second category as most people, where any other expense that is not considered major falls under the ‘’miscellaneous’’ box. I have come to learn that my miscellaneous box is where my money disappears to. It’s the hole in my pockets so to speak, every small expenditure planned or unplanned falls here. Most financial management experts will tell you the first rule of budgeting is to know where your money is going. Now, this is a tedious process and can be far from fun. It’s going to need some discipline, but you can do it. Know where your money is going If you have never sat down to look at what your spending looks like on paper you will be shocked at what you discover. Start by using one or two months —possibly even three for good measure, take note of every shilling spent. [bctt tweet=”The first rule of budgeting is to know where your money is going” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Not only the big stuff but the little stuff as well, every time you buy airtime, every time you buy a bottle of soda for yourself or someone else or any time you have to get something for your children, whether you knew about it in advance or didn’t. This is the cash that slips through the cracks and easily goes without notice. At weekly intervals sit down to put it all together and see what your spending looks like. This is the first step of budgeting. Once you have this on paper, cluster the expenditure into the major categories: household expenditure, bills, entertainment etc. This process is important because once you have this picture in your mind, you will know where you’re overspending or you’re likely to overspend. Then, you’ll start making decisions on what needs to be cut off so that what goes out is equal to or less than what comes in. Knowing how much you spend on an item on a weekly or monthly basis will also help you know when you can take advantage of some great offers when you shop in bulk. Are you ready to give this a go? Have a look at these exciting downloadable budget spreadsheets to get you started. Thank me later.
Vinolia Singh: What you should do before you drop the mic and resign
[bctt tweet=”Both negative and positive feedback play an important role in anyone’s career ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] A few weeks ago I was chatting with a friend who had recently left her job. When she left, her boss told her that he wished she had clearly expressed the extent of her unhappiness before she resigned. That sounded familiar. I had heard the same thing a few days prior when I ended a business relationship I was in. This bothered me because I realized that if I was being honest with myself, I probably didn’t know how to navigate some uncomfortable conversations. So I sat down with Human Resources executive Vinolia Singh, who is the group head of HR technology at Imperial. She has been involved in HR for over 15 years. Having worked with companies like Multi-Choice and Discovery (South Africa), there was no-one better to get advice from. Firstly, what does being a ‘woman in the workplace’ mean to you? Personally I don’t ‘see’ gender. I see women as being team members, and equal value adding contributors like their male counterparts. So in meetings and core discussions women should strip the gender out of the conversation and view themselves as credible experts on the subject matter and voice their opinions, ideas and thoughts. Be factual, show the evidence and where possible, quantify your arguments. If your argument is challenged, remain emotionally in control and debate again with the facts. However, women do bring a different set of skills in the workplace. This is often one that is more nurturing and approachable. In today’s world of work I see a focus on developing and enhancing employee’s capabilities to drive innovation and creativity. With this in mind, I think women are naturally designed to be leaders. [bctt tweet=”I think women are naturally designed to be leaders” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] I shared the story of why I decided to do this article with you. For many people, voicing discontent is uncomfortable. No one wants to look like they are a ‘whiner’. Can you speak to this fear of being seen as ‘high maintenance’? It is import to realize that both negative and positive feedback play an important role in anyone’s career. The difference in both aspects of feedback is the level of EQ with which one approaches the feedback. With feedback that is seen as negative, be extremely mature and professional as to how you give and receive such feedback. If you are unhappy with something, don’t complain without a reason. Raise it as a concern and clearly state the impact the issue has on your role, and business delivery. In addition, when you a raise a concern or unhappiness, have a proposed solution to fix the situation. The solution may be accepted or rejected by your manager. The goal is for them to see you are trying to find a way forward. Always understand and have the ability to read your manager. Determine the best times to raise negative issues. Don’t try to do so when they are not in a good mood as it can result in an undesirable outcome. Don’t also expect to have all the answers. If something is bothering you, raise it at an appropriate time. Admit: “I don’t have the answer, but I’m hoping we can navigate through this together!” Practically, what does a good way to voice discontent look like? Prepare adequately for the discussion Be deliberate with your discontent; don’t assume they should know you are unhappy Be realistic with your expectation to resolve your discontent Once again, the timing of when you raise this is critical. Don’t leave the discontent unaddressed, or until you have emotionally checked out. Once raised give your manager time to respond, be patient. Pay attention to your tone when raising your discontent and the intent thereof. What’s a common mistake people make when they want to resign? Often employees play around with resignation, or use it as a substitute and tool to negotiate their salaries. Be very cautious as it can back fire if this is your intent. I’ll use two scenario’s to illustrate this: Scenario one: Employees threaten to resign and hope that their manager will convince them to stay. The employer meets their demands, which are often related to financial increase. A few months later they try the same thing. There comes a point when the manager can predict such behaviour and the employee is seen as a nuisance. Scenario two: Employee resigns with the hope to expect a counter offer. The manager accepts the resignation. The employee has overestimated their value, or not taken the time to state it. This didn’t work out according to the employees plan and then a few days later the employee retracts the resignation. In a nut shell, the way one chooses to resign or uses resignation as a power tool has a direct impact on their reputation. Stay clear of using resignation as a weapon for ulterior motives. Be serious and take all considerations into account when you decide to resign. [bctt tweet=”Stay clear of using resignation as a weapon for ulterior motives.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Some people who are reading this are managing people themselves. What advice do you give them to avoid being blind-sided by resignations from discontent team members? As a manager you are leader. Part of being a leader is the ability to have the foresight to predict an employee’s happiness or discontent in their role. The only way to get such foresight is to invest time in your people. Get to know what gets them ticking or holds them back from doing their very best. Play to the strengths of your team. If you understand your team at a personal level, you will easily be able to pick up when they are unhappy. Then approach them and discuss your observations. [bctt tweet=”Be very cautious about using resignation as a tool to negotiate salaries” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Be brave and have that courageous conversation. More often than not employees appreciate such leaders. It is
Emotional Intelligence: The surest way to take your business to the next level
[bctt tweet=”This is why a high Emotional Intelligence Quotient is important for #MotherlandMoguls ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Emotional Intelligence is the magic wand for your business. If you’re passionate about starting a business that will be highly successful, or trying hard to take your existing business to the next level, then you have to read this. Various works of research have shown that we need more than knowledge or high Intelligence Quotient (IQ) to really succeed in life —more-so, at running a business. As an entrepreneur, it is important to attend business school, read wide, have a firm grip of your industry, and know what works and what does not. But even more important is having a high Emotional Intelligence Quotient (EQ). And this is because business in its entirety is all about people; whether you deal in products or services, you’re dealing with people. Emotional Intelligence has to do with understanding our feelings and those of others. It is that “thing” which determines how we make personal decisions, respond to emotions, interact with people, and sail through social intricacies. How do you offer the best service possible to your clients when you don’t understand how they feel? Despite what many believe, this form of intelligence comprises a set of skills that can be learned and applied every day. Let’s take a look at some of these recipes for success. [bctt tweet=”You have to have control over your own emotions if you hope to keep your clients, and add new ones” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] You need to have emotional self-control To understand people, it’s important to understand yourself first. You have to have control over your own emotions —the way you react to issues or situations— if you hope to keep your clients, and add many new ones. Having emotional self-control means you can respond to negative situations rationally rather than emotionally. Don’t forget that people enjoy doing business with someone that is emotionally stable. And that means a lot for the growth of your enterprise. To have emotional self-control, you have to be aware of your emotions from time to time. For example, the presence of negative emotions like anger, anxiety, pessimism, sadness can weigh you down and take a drastic turn on your business. But once you’re aware of them, what triggers them, and how they affect you, then they can be put in check over time. I mean you can manage them as much as possible. I know this can be challenging at first, things would always get better with time. In essence, to move ahead in your business —and even your career— you must stay motivated. And to stay motivated, you have to have control over your emotions. [bctt tweet=”The window to the heart of your customers is active listening, that’s why Emotional Intelligence comes in” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Adopt listening as a skill Running a business has everything to do with managing relationships. Yet it is practically impossible to manage relationships without getting to know the concerns or perspectives of others. The window to the heart of your prospective or existing customers is active listening. Let them tell you what and how they feel about your product or service with a lot of assurance that you care. Listening goes beyond just hearing someone else. It’s a skill that could be used to set your business —and indeed your life— on the path of great success. From your business partners and investors to clients and staff, you should pay adequate attention to whatever ideas or suggestions they put across to you. Whether you approve of their ideas or not, make sure to listen with rapt attention and nod in acknowledgement. Why is this essential? People enjoy doing business with someone they like, one who listens to them, their complaints as well as their feedback. Many business owners are too busy chasing profit without considering the magical power of active listening. They’ve forgotten that when they listen effectively to their customers, they would get more insight into how people view their products or services. And this in some way would hint them as to what and what should be done to make their businesses perform better. Never underrate the power of listening; it could make a lot of difference in your business. Showing empathy is the way to go As an entrepreneur, it’s not enough to listen to those you’re transacting business with, showing care is essential. Think of your customers as yourself. Put yourself in their shoes. Be on the same page as your clients. Ask yourself: If I were the consumer of this product or service, how satisfied would I be? It’s good to let your business be that ‘person’ whom people are endeared to and are willing to be with no matter what because she cares. Showing empathy means looking into customers’ complaints with as much urgency as genuineness. It also means sincerely putting your customers first as far as the delivery of your service is concerned. [bctt tweet=”Beyond being intelligent and strategic, Emotional Intelligence is the great secret of success ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Emotional Intelligence is the magic wand for your business Beyond being intelligent and strategic, beyond having a vast knowledge about running a business, there remains a great secret of success that can help you lead effectively in your industry and that’s Emotional Intelligence. Although some are born with a high level of this form of intelligence, it can be learned. Once you take control of your emotions, use listening as an important skill and show great empathy for your clients, you’re already adopting Emotional Intelligence as a powerful tool to take your business to the next level. How emotionally intelligent are you? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section.
A Day at #SheHiveJoburg: True SheHive fashion is epic
10:00: As a Joburger for the past few years, it was my first time experiencing Maboneng, where SheHive Joburg is taking place. Driving into Maboneng, which is known for it’s eccentric culture and vibe, you forget that you are in Joburg. SheHive Joburg was held at the OPEN Collaborative City Workspaces on the 4th floor. I walked into a space with music playing in the background, and I was filled with excitement. 10:45: More people started arriving, registering and received their #MotherlandMogul name tags. You could sense the excitement, not only for the event but the great venue SheHiveJoburg was being held. 11:28: We had a full house, and it was time to start! Ellen, the MC, welcomed all the ladies. We found out that Joburg was the final stop of the SheHive tours. I must say, bringing women together around the world with such an event is an awesome initiative and learning experience. To break the ice in the room, Ellen asked that the ladies turn to the person next to them and introduce themselves. This intro also had to include a selfie! Who doesn’t love selfies?! After taking the selfies, we needed to post them on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram with the hashtag #SheHiveJoburg. The ladies with the best caption on what they want to learn on the day would win a prize at the end of the day. Of course this was well-received. We love prizes! 11:35: The SheHive signature rap battle begins. The All Access ladies were the judges for this segment. The #MotherlandMoguls got into teams of 6 to prepare their rap. Team names included Captured Africa, African Butter and African Dream. The best four names went to the final round to battle it out. After watching the four teams battled for the rap title, I must say that Africa Has Got Talent! The judges finally announced the winners and Captured Africa took the title! 12:01: SLA Co-founder, Afua spoke about building winning partnerships. The ladies in the audience split into groups of 5-7 for the business exercise assigned by Afua. The exercise required that the different groups come up with a business name, a natural bath and body product and a partnership that would best align with their product. Preparing for the pitch to their potential partners filled the room with excitement. I discovered that Motherland Moguls are creative, and having this experience will help them in the future when they pitch to their soon-to-be partners. 13:03: Networking is valuable but networking right is more valuable. Ellen encouraged the ladies to speak to 3 people they do not know during lunch, and of course, take more selfies and post on social media. 13:06: Lunch time. This was the perfect time to take more selfies, take pictures using the SLA props to and most importantly to eat and mingle. 14:00: Once lunch was over, Victoria, the Marketing and Social Media coordinator from Kisua announced that everyone is legible to a 15% discount on their first purchase at Kisua!! This was one of the many highlights of the event, the #MotherlandMoguls loved this. Then, the media panel began with Susan Younis, Janine Jellars, and Leslie Kasumba. The panel was a discussion on their career journeys to date and the lessons learned in the media industry. Who better to learn from than from these media moguls!? The media panel gave us pointers on how to know which offer to take. One of the panelists, Janine, pointed out that not every opportunity presented to you will be an opportunity you should take. It’s important to know what is good for you and understand what your path and your purpose is. 15:20: The next speaker was Irene Charnley, who is the CEO of the Smile Group. Her presentation was centered around the importance of you. She gave us pointers on how Motherland Moguls can be guided by their core values. Irene also asked a few members of the audience to tell us what their core values are. This was important because what your values are should speak to both your personal and professional life. A lesson we took from the presentation is to always be present in everything that you do. 16:17: After that inspiring session, we needed a comfort break where more networking happened and Motherland Moguls bought branded t-shirts. We even had some ladies change into the t-shirts as soon as they bought them. 16:35: The last speaker of the day was Dorothy Amuah from Luxury Focus. Dorothy spoke of her journey after finishing her MBA, and seeing that there is an opportunity for luxury to expand in Africa. She came back to Africa to see where she could play her part in growing the luxury industry. We learned about the luxury business and for many of us, it was an eye-opener. We definitely learn something new everyday! 17:15: Motherland Moguls got an opportunity to share their stories about themselves, their businesses and initiatives and everybody loved this. Having platforms such as SheHive that give women opportunities to talk about the great work they do are vital. To end off the day, the rap battle winners and social media winners claimed their prizes and it was time for cocktails and more networking!