8 markings of a strong #MotherlandMogul, as told by Mary J. Blige
[bctt tweet=”Does Mary J Blige teach us that strong business women remain authentic? Find out how here” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] I have been a fan of Mary J. Blige since my childhood in the early 90s and have taken great inspiration from watching the way that she has blazed trails, set trends and overcome adversity, both in her career and personal life, from then even up till now. This, in addition to the fact that her songs tend to surround themes such as female empowerment, make her a favourite. With a title like “The Strength of a Woman,” her upcoming album seems set to carry on this important discussion. So, to celebrate, I was inspired to share 8 markings of a strong business woman through some of my favourite Mary J. Blige lyrics: 1. “Take Me as I am or have nothing at all” There is a saying that goes “if you try to please everyone, you’ll end up pleasing no-one”. Although it can be tempting to make your business all encompassing, one of the things that Mary teaches us about strong business women, through songs such as “Take me as I am,” is that they remain authentic. When I say this, I mean that they are self-aware enough to know where their talents lie and who they can best serve. In other words they niche down. An example of this can be seen via the overlap and differences between She Leads Africa and my blog. Both cater to women but they have different niches- in that SLA caters to business women whereas my blog caters to Christian women. Some of the benefits of having a niche in this way are that: It allows you to play to your strengths It allows you to work with the kinds of people you like to, making your business a joy rather than something you dread It sets you up as an expert in your particular field, making you the “go to” person in your niche or specialism Being seen as an authority has a positive effect on profit margins 2. “All I really want is to be happy” Through songs like “Happy,” Mary shows us that part of the reason strong business women are able to be so authentic is because they know what makes them…well…happy! Not only that, these women have developed goals; so, they know what they want to achieve in future. They also honour their dreams by going for them. This knowledge of self may have been hard won- especially if it was something that they didn’t always have- but, once it’s developed, it is what guides their business practices. 3. “No more drama” In songs such as “No More Drama”, Mary is teaching us that strong business women refuse to tolerate negative entities. This is because they’ve battled through too much to make their businesses what they are today to let another person destroy it with negativity. They are, however, also wise enough to know when the “drama” is coming from within (through things like fear, self-doubt or negative self-talk) and so will do the inner work needed to shake those things off to progress as well. 4. “Hate it or love it the underdog’s on top and I’m gone shine, homie, until my heart stops” Sometimes it is not possible to eliminate negativity because it is coming from a family member or colleague, for example. Through songs such as her remix of 50 Cent’s “Hate it or Love It,” Mary teaches us that in such situations, we always get to choose how much we are willing to be affected by other people’s opinions or attitudes. We may not be able to control nay-sayers or “enemies of progress” (as we Nigerians would call them), but we can control our own reactions. Strong business women realise that, and so they refuse to slow down, give up or let anybody steal their “shine”. 5. “…As long as it’s you by my side, I’m stronger” In addition to breaking away from the negative sources in their lives, strong business women seek positive relationships and collaborations. According to another Mary song, this means relationships that make them “Stronger”. As already implied, this entails being around people that: Love you for you (only suggesting alterations be made to contribute to you growth and progress, rather than make you feel “less than”) Support your goals and dreams Are positive sources of influence. By the same token, strong business women are able to do and be the same for others (in the knowledge that a win for one sister is a win for us all and does not detract from them in any way). 6. “In each tear, there’s a lesson…” Through songs such as “With Each Tear” Mary shows us that strong business women are constantly learning, even if the teacher comes in the form of a mistake or failure. They roll with the punches, extract the lessons from that season and use it to become better rather than bitter. Tweet: Mary shows us that strong business women are constantly learning, even if the teacher comes in the form of a mistake or failure 7. “I can see in colour, the first sign of spring…” Mary demonstrates, through songs like “I Can See in Colour,” that strong business women lean towards such optimism because of a hope and faith in God, or another higher power, who means them good and not evil. This gives them a sense that everything, including bad things, happens for a reason; that even if the bright side of a situation is not immediately apparent- it will be. They also understand, in line with one of my favourite songs (Total Praise by Richard Smallwood) that, that higher power is the source of their strength in the first place. 8. “[I] put my life all up in these songs just so you can feel me; so you can get the real me” I’m going to end this ode to Mary J. Blige and strong business women with the song I began with- “Take Me As I Am”. In it Mary sings the words in the title of this 8th point. When we share these things with others, we let people who have the same challenges know that there is a light at
Should you plan ahead or just ‘go with the flow’?
[bctt tweet=”You need intention and you need to have some sort of plan with your life” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] There’s nothing wrong with occasionally going ‘with the flow’ when it comes to events that are not major. Like just deciding to get in your car and driving to wherever the road may lead you, we all need to be a little spontaneous at times! The problem with ‘going with the flow’ is not knowing where that flow will lead you. I came across a statement that said: “the trouble with going with the flow is, you might wind up getting sucked down the drain”, and isn’t that true? The danger of moving without a clear plan There are times when going with the flow feels great, the times when everything just seems to fall into place. And sure enough, there are times we have no control over situations, and we have to just go with the flow of things. The tricky thing about going with the flow is that firstly, it takes time to notice things going astray and you may fall into traps, which you could have been able to avoid, had you had a clear set plan. The second reason why going with the flow is not always the wisest thing to do is that if all you do is “go with the flow”, you put yourself at risk of losing focus and allowing yourself to settle for less than what you can achieve. You need intention and you need to have some sort of plan, which maps out how you will get to your target. Life is unpredictable and we often have to deal with things we have not been prepared for. However, planning ahead is still the better thing to do, if you have planned properly, you can always go to ‘Plan B’. Also, if you plan ahead you can usually assess the risks involved, and that may save you from unforeseen challenges. Your plan doesn’t have to be incredibly researched or very detailed but it should have some general idea on how you will achieve or approach a specific situation. It will always make it easier for you to take the next step required in your situation. A plan works exactly like a map –you know how hard it can be trying to get to a place with no directions. What would have taken a few minutes, can easily end up taking hours! The same can be said when you go through each year or day-to-day activities without any form of direction; you may find yourself circling the same place over and over again –but with a plan you have some form of direction, meaning you can go straight to your destination point without going through the same circles. Why planning is important #1 You have a clearer vision of where you want to go. #2 It makes it easier to examine the risks involved. #3 There’s no wasted time; therefore you can achieve your goals in a shorter time frame. #4 Should something go wrong, you can always move to ‘plan B’. My go-to manual for all matters of life, the word of God says: “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed” – Proverbs 15:22. We should never forget that there are people who have already been where we need to go. There are people who can guide you in the right direction. That’s what communities like SLA are for. So, if you have not already done so, it’s time to start making a plan about the steps you need to take to get to the top in 2017. You can’t allow yourself to go with the flow… we need to be intentional!
Tips from Shonda Rhimes on handling tough conversations
[bctt tweet=”Fight your way through uncomfortable situations at work with these tips” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Raise your hand if you would rather avoid confrontation and addressing difficult conversations that make you uncomfortable at work? Not because you are slow and don’t know how to stand up for yourself. Instead, it just isn’t something that comes naturally to you. To some, this may seem like an absurd thing because, how hard can it be to articulate a fluent conversation that isn’t muffled by fear or anxiety? All I can say from experience is these things happen. Long after the moment where you had the opportunity to speak up is gone, you find yourself considering all the smart things you should have said. If this sounds like you, rest assured that you are not alone. As big of an influencer Shonda Rhimes is, she had to fight her way through uncomfortable situations at work in as graceful of a manner as possible. She had to learn how to stop avoiding conversations she did not want to have. Chapter 8 of her book, Year of Yes details the struggle and importance of putting your fear aside and voicing your concerns. If you have ever doubted yourself in the workplace or let fear get the best of you from saying the crucial things you really needed to, it’s time to take charge girl. Below are some useful tips from Shonda’s book to get you started on that journey. No is a complete sentence Every now and again, you might be plagued by the constant need to explain yourself when you disagree with someone or when you simply can’t do something. So much time and in some cases (money) is wasted beating around the bush when all you can do is just say no. No is a complete sentence and you don’t owe anybody an explanation. Ask questions Petty and nasty things will be said. A strategic way of dealing with this is asking “what did you mean by that?” Shonda explains that asking this question can be effective because too often, people are used to being spoken about not spoken TO. Most people would rather bottle everything inside or worse off rant about what upset them to someone else. Next time you feel offended, always clarify by asking questions. “When something wasn’t going well, when there was a conflict or someone was upset or being difficult, the more introverted me would flee and hope it all went away. The new me wades right into the deep end as asks, “What’s wrong?” –Shonda Rhimes [bctt tweet=”Say yes to difficult conversations at work, it’ll help you thrive in your career” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Say yes to difficult conversations There is no easy fix or supplement you can take to make hard conversations any less daunting. The fear will always be there if you are not used to having them. With practice, it does get better and you will find your voice. So if you take nothing else from this post, just remember to just say yes to difficult conversations. The more open you are to the idea; there more willing you’ll be to seek help and find ways to tackle those hard discussions and thrive in your career.
How to land the media job you want: Tips from Isis Nyong’o Madison
[bctt tweet=”Get inspired and land the media job you want with lessons straight from Isis Nyong’o Madison” via=”no”] Isis Nyong’o Madison is a well-known media and technology leader in Africa. She has held leadership roles at Asphalt & Ink, InMobi, Google and MTV. Over the past decade, she has made her mark scaling media and digital businesses across the continent. Isis holds degrees from Stanford University and Harvard Business School and is the CEO and Co-founder of Mums Village an online start-up dedicated to enriching the lives of current mothers and mums-to-be in urban Kenya. Accolades awarded to her include being named a Young Global Leader by the World Economic Forum and one of Africa’s most Powerful Women by Forbes. Isis serves on the boards of two technology companies and it can’t hurt to add that her family boasts of greatness with Academy award winning actress, Lupita Nyong’o as her cousin. As someone with great experience in media and technology – all the while ensuring career longevity, below are some takeaways we can learn from her as she tells us how she got to where she is now. Network, network, network and be persistent “I networked incredibly hard to get into MTV in 2005. They were just getting ready to launch in Africa right as I was graduating from Harvard Business School -I was very excited about media at the time and absolutely obsessed with working there. I didn’t know if they had any vacancies but I did everything I possibly could to find myself space there as it was logical to me that they would need to put a team together. The person leading the MTV Africa venture was Nigerian so I reached into my network asking every single Nigerian I knew if they knew this guy. None of them did but with more digging I got the phone numbers I needed that finally connected me to him. This took about six months to get to him and get him to hire me as their first sales person. Today, I wouldn’t recommend spamming a potential employer with too many emails and cold calling them but you should do your best to get noticed. For example, attend events that they host, engage with them online and meet employees to better understand what it’s like to work there. Never give up on something that you feel is right for you but also use your judgement on optimal approach.” Some key points to help with landing the job you want: 1. Network Again, this is very important and is a skill that young people should have. There are more forums to network nowadays and a lot of networking opportunities as well. The reality, particularly here in Kenya, is that people feel like only certain people get jobs because they have access to certain networks. There is some truth to that but not to say that one cannot build their own networks no matter where you are starting from. Your networks don’t just happen to you, you build on your alumni institution, your church, and many other avenues. That’s something I became very good at over time and it’s something that is important not just for jobs but for business in general. [bctt tweet=”The importance of your network in landing the job you want in the media is very real ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 2. Throw your hat in the ring When applying for jobs in big companies, I think there’s a view that you can’t just apply on their website and expect your CV to be reviewed. I applied to Google at a time when they had 1,000 people at least applying per week and every single CV was screened. Also, particularly for women, there’s a lot of research that shows that women will go through an entire list of requirements and if they do not have one of those things that the company is looking for, they won’t apply. Yet men tend to apply regardless of meeting all the requirements or not. I think that women definitely need to have a much more controlled view of this and apply for the job they want despite missing one or two requirements. The only way to ensure you don’t get a job is to not apply. 3. Preparation matters – a lot. Ensure you have an engaging, updated LinkedIn profile as that is where your professional visibility matters and be mindful of everything you put online. Typos in CV’s and any other communications are inexcusable and reflect a cavalier attitude which makes it easy for employers to pass on. When you reach the interview stage, do thorough research in preparation for it. You can never over prepare -you should definitely never walk into an interview unprepared as you’ll be wasting everyone’s time including your own. Understand what the role is, what you think they’re looking for, what questions they are likely to ask you, what questions you’ll ask them and find out what’s happening in that industry that you want to join. There’s no excuse not to be prepared. How to ensure career longevity “If one finds their life passion, it becomes much easier to have career longevity. Things fall into place when you find your passion. There’s always more you want to do and there’s more opportunities that find their way back to you. [bctt tweet=”If one finds their life passion, it becomes much easier to have career longevity” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] For those who are unfortunately stuck in a career path that’s not for them, make it a mission to find a way to get out of that situation instead of trying to create a long-term career.” Finally, what matters more between education and experience? It depends on the individual “Education and experience are both very important and I do think that I vacillate myself on whether one matters more than the other. A good education gives you a foundation to build knowledge, working in teams, critical thinking skills and the discipline of simply
Volunteering: Diversify your professional experience and drive social impact
[bctt tweet=”Let’s admit – w/everyday #adulting struggles, it can be difficult to consistently volunteer” via=”no”] Community service and a spirit of volunteerism hold a place in the hearts of many millennials. We relentlessly seek ways to care for the marginalized. College provided a perfect platform for us to exercise this passion as opportunities to plug into communities and give back were ready-made; all we really needed to do was sign up and show up. Life after university has, however, proved to be a different story as we have to seek out volunteer opportunities on our own. Let’s admit: with jam-packed schedules and the everyday adulting struggles, it can be quite difficult to find an organization to volunteer with on a consistent basis. Enter skill-based volunteering This is where skill-based volunteering —typically known as pro bono work— comes in. Skill-based service enables you to match your skills and interests with the needs of a non-profit. Many non-profits are often lacking the staff capacity, so they need help in areas like marketing, financial management, strategic planning, and technology. Organizations are in need of professionals to partner with them in solving complex, pressing issues —and that’s where you provide value. While filling an essential need, volunteering gives you an invaluable opportunity to sharpen your skills and diversify your background in areas that interest you. Technology opens greater access to organizations and projects that are all over the globe. Through skill-based volunteering, the digitally savvy woman can tap into a deeper pool of opportunities that are not readily available in her current network. You’ll build a portfolio for that side hustle you’ve been meaning to kick start and amp up the experience section of your CV. All from the comfort of your living room with a warm cup of coffee (or tea) in hand. [bctt tweet=”Skill-based volunteering grants you an invaluable opportunity to sharpen your skills” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] I started my skill-based volunteering journey to explore an interest in consulting non-profit organizations. I wanted to facilitate an experience that would mirror the expert-client relationship found in working with organizations to help further their mission. After looking through LinkedIn postings and several volunteer websites, I came across Catchafire —a website that connects professionals with nonprofits. Within three months, I worked with three organization on projects that involved marketing and communications strategy. The most rewarding part being that these organizations supported issues that I cared about! If you’re ready to launch your skill-based volunteering journey, here are 3 quick ways to get started: Sit down and draw a list of the competencies you’d like to build. A great way to do this is to review career opportunities that interest you and see what a competitive candidate background looks like. This can help you determine the kinds of projects to take on. Think of causes that you’re most passionate about. If you enjoy working with troubled teens, for example, you can focus your search on organizations that serve that demographic. This will not only allow you to engage a community you care for but also aid in addressing the issues facing it. Once you’ve narrowed your list of competencies and causes, it’s time to reach out to nonprofits. Leverage volunteer matchmaking platforms like Catchafire and Taproot, or utilize your LinkedIn profile. Catchafire connects volunteer professionals with nonprofits through 1-hour consulting phone calls and/or fully-fledged projects. My favorite aspect of Catchafire is the personal dashboard it generates with project details, experience testimonials, and your monetized impact —all great metrics to share on your CV or portfolio. Taproot has pro-bono opportunities ranging from one-on-one consultations to team-based, long-term projects. On LinkedIn you can specify in the volunteer section that you’re searching for pro-bono projects, thus making it easier for nonprofits to find you. As you start working with nonprofit organizations, it’s important to treat these projects with the same regard and excellence as you would any other engagement. Discuss project specifics and map out a project timeline with benchmarks, deliverables and KPIs. A carefully organized experience enables you to share your skills in a meaningful way and also ensures that the nonprofits get quality service. [bctt tweet=”Organized skill-based volunteering enables you to share your skills in a meaningful way” username=”no”] What are you waiting for? The bottom line is that skill-based volunteering is a great way to build and develop your professional background as you provide value and drive social impact in marginalized communities. While you diversify your CV, you’re also building a network of professionals active in the causes you’re most passionate about. Therein opening up opportunities for future ventures to implement sustainable community development programs. So, what are you waiting for? Get out there and start volunteering! To help guide you through the volunteering process, SLA has created a cheat sheet. Grab it by here —sign up and slay up!
Is your personal growth stunted? 5 signs that it might be
[bctt tweet=”Sometimes we get stuck because we haven’t learned anything new, these tips should help” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] What to do when you’ve lost your mojo We all want to become the best we can be. But what happens when you’ve lost your mojo? There’s a chance that your personal growth might be stunted. There’s no shame in that, it happens to the best of us: sometimes you just get stuck and it feels gross. Here are some signs to help you tell, and some quick simple ways to overcome it. 1. You’re really comfortable right now Life is fine. Like, just fine. Everything is just okay. You’ve got a good steady rhythm at home, at work and in your relationships but it’s been steady like that for A WHILE… to the point of standing still. You look around you and feel the buzz around you, but you’re on the outside. While being in this position isn’t necessarily bad, it’s not amazing either. It’s just —you guessed it— fine. You’ve stopped growing. Ask yourself: When did I last get excited about creating something new and of real value? If you’re struggling to find an answer, it’s time to change. Why not take on a new challenge? Join a society at university, or a network at work. Volunteer at a local charity that your care about or look for opportunities to give your skills to budding entrepreneurs. All you have to do is reach out and ask —over the phone, in person or using social media. It’s all there ready and waiting for you. 2. You’re bored at work Even when we’re in our dream jobs, work can sometimes be less than glamorous. There’s always that one activity that you’d rather skip. When you face this boredom or frustration you need to…. Ask yourself: Is it time to move on, or do I just need to do something different where I am? Next, have a conversation. With your boss, your manager or your team (if you are the boss/manager) about new opportunities or projects that you can try out. Of course, the way you ask depends on your role at work, so take that into consideration. Once you’ve identified these new personal growth goals you can set monthly or weekly goals to drive your progress. Many of us make great 1-5 year plans but struggle to translate them into our daily hustles. 3. You don’t leave conversations feeling inspired, motivated or energized You can’t remember the last time you learned anything of value, every conversation feels the same. I get it, it’s happened to me before. But too many people blame others, they claim that there aren’t ‘enough people to have intelligent conversation’ with. Well, before you blame others for anything in life, always look at yourself. Be the change you want to see in the world. Ask yourself: What do I bring to the table? If you’ve followed personal growth steps 1 & 2 above, you may eventually have something new to bring to your conversations. Once you’ve done that, you can start planning how you expand your horizons and your network. The age-old saying goes, ‘your network is your networth’ and if you haven’t made any new friends lately, maybe it’s time to go to an event, #SheHive or conference to get the conversational juices flowing again. [bctt tweet=”Before you blame others for anything in life, always look at yourself” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 4. You know as much as you did yesterday, and the day before that… and the day before that Sometimes we get stuck because we haven’t learned anything new. Personal growth involves your body AND your brain. We all have our niche —whether it’s fashion, tech, finance, politics or anything in between. But we can all benefit from knowing a little bit of everything across the board. Some employers call this being a ‘t-shaped’ person, someone who has deep knowledge in a few areas and broad knowledge across many others. These types of people can work well in many situations and are typically more employable. Ask yourself: When was the last time I learned anything new? The good news is that in the age of Google, a lot of information is $free.99 – shout out to SLA for this free guide right here. You can learn most of the basics on a shoestring budget, or no budget at all. What have you got to lose? 5. You lack energy and feel sluggish Sluggish. What a word, sounds horrible right? You might feel chronically tired, or that you’re living life in slow motion. Sometimes this is because you’ve been working too damn hard, but other times it’s caused by the fact that you aren’t doing much at all. If it’s the latter, the final thing you can do to boost your personal growth is actually get moving. Ask yourself: How can I shake up my routine in some way? This might be something really small like changing the route you take to work or your night-time beauty routine. It could also mean becoming more active. YES, I do mean going to the gym, joining a sports team or doing a class. A little sweat never hurt anyone! It sounds kind of crazy, but the more you work out, the more energy you have for other areas in your life. So, no excuses. Try these recommendations out and let us know how they work for you. Doing something new is scary, but life begins outside of your comfort zone. So does personal growth. You’ll be challenged in a new way, and you’ll develop into a more well-rounded person in the process.
The Shine Theory: What it is and why you need it.
[bctt tweet=”Building friendships with accomplished women is great for your business & personal network” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] What is your first thought when you get introduced to another woman? ‘She’s pretty but maybe not as pretty as me?’ or ‘Gosh, I wish my edges were that laid’ perhaps ‘Who is this? Does she think I’m cool?’ Whether it’s involuntary or not we tend to have a train of thought that borders on the competitive when we meet someone new. It even happens with people we do know, hearing good news about a friend’s new promotion or engagement can sometimes make us feel a little left behind. Well the Shine Theory, advocated by Anne Friedman, challenges you to flip the script. The basic premise is that when you meet an intimidatingly successful bad ass woman, instead of letting that little voice in your head tell you that you should feel inferior or even intimidated, send it back where it came from and befriend her! Friedman explains, ‘Surrounding yourself with the best people doesn’t make you look worse by comparison. It makes you better.’ Why the Shine Theory? We live in a society that constantly pits women against each other, as if we can’t imagine a world where two successful women can exist without being competitors. The Shine Theory encourages us to surround ourselves with women who are successful and to encourage these successes. How can we not want to see the women around us flourish and do the most? After all, we are the company we keep. But does the Shine Theory actually work? It has been tried and tested by the women in the Obama Administration with the effects fostering an important change in the way women treat each other in the workplace. It has been a long time coming but it is definitely time to change the narrative that women cannot exist in the same space without being pitted against one another. So how can you practice the Shine Theory? Well, charity does start at home. How we see and treat others is based on how we see and treat ourselves. A little self-love and self-confidence goes a long way. When you recognise your potential and your unique path, you’re less likely to compare yourself to others and resent their accomplishments. It is important to ask yourself why you instinctively take a negative approach to meeting someone new. How do you feel about yourself, your career and happiness? Your answers to this will generally reflect how you ultimately treat others. Convinced? Here’s how to start. The Shine Theory can easily be done with our friends and general social circle but it is not just limited to seeing our inner circle flourish. It is also key to make an effort when we meet someone who potentially intimidates you. This isn’t a ‘fake it till you like her’ situation. Be genuine and honest with your friendships and acquaintances, be part of a BOSS community that encourages and thrives off each other’s success.Whether it’s a tweet of encouragement or creating platforms that support another woman’s business, the Shine Theory allows all those involved to bask in each other’s sparkle. Building friendships with more accomplished women is great for building your business relationships and your personal networks. Who knows? That seemingly intimidating woman could be you next business partner. More significantly, you gain you a strong support system that pushes you to be the best version of yourself. We need friends that are smart, confident and kick-ass women who dish out the best advice and inspire us daily. Create and foster friendships based on mutual appreciation and respect in seeing each other’s triumphs as a celebration for all.
The struggles of being a stay-at-home mom
[bctt tweet=”A reluctant stay-at-home mom shares her experience and why she came up with an exit plan” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Any time you see a woman who tells you that her main job is to take care of her children 24/7, know that you just met a stay-at-home mom. The definition for this term is someone who stays at home all day to raise her children and manage her household, while her spouse gracefully assumes the position of a provider. This term has become a cliché in some countries —thousands of women proudly wear this badge in a show of their sacrificial parenthood. In many societies outside Nigeria, stay-at-home moms are often seen as good models of motherhood because it is not everyday you meet a woman so selfless and willing to let go of her financial independence. But the question remains; what does a stay-at-home mom do all day? Is cleaning and doing laundry a daily routine or is she watching ‘Zee World’ or ‘Telemundo’? In this part of the world, there is something so ordinary and basic about being a stay-at-home mom. Out of personal experience and data check, most stay-at-home moms in Nigeria take on this role out of frustration of not getting a job after childbirth or lack of zeal to further pursue career goals. It is, sometimes, very easy to give up trying but the consequence of this decision is a grave one. [bctt tweet=”Most stay-at-home moms in Nigeria take this role because they can’t find a job” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] If by staying at home all day and writing occasionally qualify for being a stay-at-home mom then, I label myself a reluctant one. The state of not being able to be financially independent is one of the lowest that I found myself in. Nigeria happens to be a peculiar country where the depth of one’s pocket determines who the boss is. These days, it is not safe to solely depend on one’s spouse for everything —financial independence is a must for every woman regardless of marital status. Nigeria is a patriarchal space, where being a woman is enough trouble, talk less being a jobless mum. Loss of who I am There are three things that I lost in the period of being a stay-at-home mom. I lost myself, my voice and my bravado. As someone who has previously worked in several highly structured organizations, full time motherhood threw me off balance. Day after day, tiny pieces of my self-confidence began to ebb away as I helplessly watched other women excel in their careers be it as entrepreneurs or career women. Nothing robs us of our joy like the helplessness of not being able to determine one’s fate. I would feel inferior every time I heard the success stories of my colleagues. I began to look for excuses to stay indoors and revel in self-pity. Before I know it, I became a recluse instead of the strong, extrovert and go-getter I used to be. [bctt tweet=”I lost 3 things being a stay-at-home mom; myself, my voice and my bravado” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Being a full time mother opens a door of vulnerability; it reduces us to helpless creatures. I had a rude awakening of this in my second year of marriage when an in-law came around and subtly hinted at my ‘jobless condition’. He constantly tore at any suggestion I made during our family discussions. To him, I was just “an entity whose main job was to breastfeed a child”, as he put it then. The mere fact that I wasn’t bringing in any income was enough reason to shut me up. To him, I didn’t exist, likewise my thoughts, in his mind, I was just a human with mammary glands and a womb to frequently push out babies. One day, I decided that I had had enough, I began to outline ways to get out of this pathetic state. Have a time line It sure doesn’t matter what made me a stay-at-home mom, what is important is the time line for my exit. A frustrated stay-at-home mom, like me, definitely needed a detailed plan on how to put an end to the cycle of helplessness. Questions like these should be included in your time line: When do I pull the plug? How do I integrate myself into the chosen career or business? What are my new strengths? These questions will best guide you on the next step to take when considering an exit. Never stop learning Don’t ever be deluded into thinking that motherhood takes all your time and energy. There are millions of women who are beautifully juggling child rearing with careers; so even while you are stuck being a stay-at-home mom, compel yourself to take lots and lots of self-development courses. Nothing stops an online course or even a distance learning course. These courses will one day help to advance your career. I must confess that it is hard to get back into a career or a business after a hiatus, but it is doable. Since I decided to get back to the corporate world, I have constantly learnt how not to take NO for an answer —I don’t get fazed by the number of rejections, I just keep on pushing. Keep on dreaming This is one thing that kept me sane in my five year stay-at-home mom experience. I never for once stopped dreaming about who I would be in my chosen career. This vision kept me awake at night and gave me a clear perspective on how to attain my career goal. [bctt tweet=”Children need to see their mothers in places of strength and independence” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Never allow anything or anyone to rob you the power of dreaming big. I once read online about how children of career women excel in life compared to children raised by stay-at-home moms. Children need to see their mothers in places of strength and independence and let’s be honest, being a stay-at-home mom will never create that reality.
You lead Africa: Becoming a global leader from your community
[bctt tweet=”Use these 8 steps to start leading Africa from your community” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Being a global leader is not all about working in the United Nations or travelling the world over to proffer global solutions to all the world’s problems (although that also counts). Real global leaders are those that recognize the impact of their actions on their communities; that is why many #MotherlandMoguls and #BossLadies are beginning to lead Africa from their doorsteps. Whether it’s business, philanthropy, social activism, entertainment, technological innovation etc, you can begin to make global impact by taking active roles and actions in your community (aka your society, aka your neighbourhood, aka your district, aka your area, aka – you get the gist) because that’s where real change happens. So without further ado, here are a number of ways you could start leading Africa from where you are; 1. Practice core leadership values Whether its through integrity or service, practice core values in your career and in relation to your community. These values support your personal leadership skills and help you in deciding what you what to be known for as a leader. 2. Be a global citizen Be involved in your community in practical ways, this could be through volunteering amongst others. Asides from boosting your resume, you’ll be creating real global impact from your community. Volunteering doesn’t always have to be abroad (although that is fun when you have Oprah money and all), you first have to think about how you can help your own community thrive. 3. Networking Someone smart has said this before. Your network has an impact in your leadership success. Effective networking gives you access to information, valuable resources, referrals, knowledge, mentoring and a vast number of skills that would be helpful in advancing your community. Whether it’s professional or personal, networking provides you the opportunity to meet diverse people. There is always something you can learn from other #MotherlandMoguls around the world to sharpen your leadership edge. 4. Seize the day Find out about programmes, summer camps, and platforms that help you build your global leadership self. A number of them might include leadership camps, bridge programmes or professional boot camps. There are a host of activities that would help you along the path of taking effective actions and decisions in your community. 5. Be an entrepreneur If you are not solving a problem in your community, then you are the problem. It’s either Beyoncé or someone else. Every community has challenges and you should be doing something to bring about a solution to a challenge in your community. Think about what you can start doing to solve a problem you see in the society, that’s the power of your #BlackGirlMagic. [bctt tweet=”If you are not solving a problem in your community, then you are the problem” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 6. Develop yourself With the vast array of online classes/courses the internet provides, self-development is just a click away. Develop your brand, research, read, read, and read (not just Harlequin), finesse your leadership ability. Know that girls can be pretty and smart. 7. Have a global mindset Enhance your communication and interpersonal skills. Global leadership requires an understanding of various diverse views and perspectives. This can be gained from travelling abroad or reading widely. Stay abreast of international happenings around the world. This makes you very knowledgeable about other communities. It could also provide necessary information and policy which would help you in achieving your own set goals for your community. 8. Join She Leads Africa Besides being extraordinario, SLA would help you get to the next level of your career and finesse your global leadership mindset. From inspiring articles to amazing events to the Accelerator programme, SLA is becoming the number one destination for smart young and ambitious global women and you could become a part of our community. Start acting today and be at the forefront of rising global leaders, who says girls can’t have it all?
Leadership 101: Lessons learnt from my first leadership roles
[bctt tweet=”This was leadership in a world where your juniors are old enough to be uncles or aunties” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] In 2012, a few weeks shy of my 22nd birthday and armed with my freshly bestowed degree, I was given a leadership role. Leadership was nothing new to me because I had enjoyed a couple of governance roles in school; but this was starkly different. This was the real world. This was leadership in a world where your juniors are old enough to be uncles or aunties. Though the task was formidable, I accepted the challenge. Four years later I am still in a leadership role and I am actually at ease with it. I still have my fair share of challenges, but I must admit that I have come a long way from my early days. So without further adieu I present my top 5 tips for acing your leadership role. Be authentic For me, I think this is the most important aspect of your leadership journey. You need to understand that it is not a copy and paste type of role. It requires actual effort and analysis of the make up of your team. You need to exert yourself to find out what leadership style works best for you. In the early years of my leadership journey, I struggled with my leadership style. I realized all too often that sometimes decisions I made were not reflecting what I truly wanted and my team could sense that. Once your team senses that you are uncertain of yourself they begin to become unsure of themselves and their work! Always ask yourself if a decision made really reflects the values of the company; but also importantly reflects your values and what you wish to achieve. Once you hone your leadership style, your skills will transcend to every interaction you have with your team. Your co-workers become more trusting of your decisions because you trust and they can definitely perceive that [bctt tweet=”Being authentic is very important aspect for your leadership; figure out what style works” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Create an open environment Get it from me folks, this works. An open environment is a system that allows for open communication between leaders and their juniors. An open system facilitates better work relationships and ultimately leads to greater accomplishment of desired results. So how can you put it into practice? Well these days, when something goes disastrously wrong I bite my tongue, hard. Instead I ask; “What went wrong”. By doing so I am able to identify the root cause of the problem but I am also allowing my colleague to express themselves and identify for themselves things they could have done better. Additionally, also allow for your team mates to fully own the processes they initiate. Don’t you just hate it when your boss polices every single one of your tasks? Allow your team to discover what works for them and what doesn’t. In addition to that, have regular ‘check in’ meetings. Ask the team what challenges they are facing during the meeting. Praise employees who have done exceptionally well and also show gratitude to the entire team. Have intention If you wish to achieve a goal for your team, make it a core part of your day-to-day work. Leading with intention entails taking steps towards achieving a set goal or target for you and your team. One way I try to lead with intention is jotting down my plan of action; it worked great for me. Every day I try to identify a step that will help me achieve my set goal. And every day, I encourage my co-workers to do the same. A couple of years ago, one of my superiors told me; “Kuda the corporate world does not award effort, it awards results”. And boy this is the truth! So always focus on the goal ahead whatever it may be and lead your team towards that goal with intention. [bctt tweet=”Always focus on the goal ahead and lead your team towards that goal with intention” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Keep a leadership journal Yes, that’s right a journal. Whenever something major at work happens, document it. I promise you, your future self will be so happy and glad you did it. A journal acts as a medium of venting and letting everything out. But it can also provide a solution to hurdles you may be facing. As you write (honestly) you begin to brainstorm solutions and logically think through a problem. Journalling my leadership came naturally to me but it did not come easy. It was hard for me to write about my own mistakes and literally face them. However, once I overcame this, my journal provides me with a plethora of insight into problem solving and people management. Remember that leadership style I mentioned earlier? A journal will help you realize that and more about yourself. So don’t dismiss journalling as an activity of hormone crazed teenagers because it sure isn’t. Take an interest in your co-workers Because work is essentially work, it is very easy to see your co-workers as merely means to an end, or as people you are forced to be around. You would be so shocked to realize how interesting many of your co-workers are if you simply take an interest. Also, this gives you a better understanding of what roles are fit for people. You don’t have to literally hang out the office and become overnight besties; a few simple changes can help. For example, why not ditch your regular lunch partner at least once a week. Instead sit on a different table with a different colleague and get to know them more. This strategy has helped me tremendously. Not only do I get a feel of the office relationship dynamics but I get people to open up more especially about how they really feel about the work they are handling. [bctt tweet=”All in all, leadership is a process. It is more the journey than it is