MOLPED FEATURE ON SIMI DREY: AWARD WINNING RADIO AND TV HOST

Molped sanitary pad is a product from Hayat Kimya Limited (manufacturers of Molfix diapers), and is a skin-friendly, ultra-soft, sanitary pad, designed to make young girls feel as comfortable, soft, and secure as they feel beside their best friends.

Molped’s breathable layer keeps young women fresh, and it’s skin-friendly, cottony soft layer does not cause irritation. Molped sanitary pad is every girl’s best friend, helping them be more confident, and supporting them through their periods.

Molped has partnered with She Leads Africa to highlight the beauty and importance of valuable female connections. 

You can connect with Simi on Instagram and Twitter.

ABOUT SIMI DREY

Simi Drey is an experienced multi-award-winning Broadcaster who has worked across media platforms in both the United Kingdom and Nigeria. 

With a First Class Degree in Broadcasting and Journalism from the University of Wales, she currently hosts the Saturday and Sunday morning shows on the Beat 99.9FM and on television anchors 53 Extra on African Magic.

Having won the Future Awards Africa for Best OAP (TV and Radio) in 2019, Simi Drey uses her platform to share her passion for entertaining and educating the youth; tomorrow’s leaders.

What does friendship mean to you?

Friendship means family. My friends are people who know me, they know my strengths, they know my weaknesses yet they still love me. 

They have been there for me and always will be at different stages of my life and I will do the same for them.

Can you tell us of a time when any of your girlfriends connected you with a career or business opportunity?

There have been numerous occasions where my girlfriends helped me but the most recent would be Gbemi Olateru Olagbegi who nominated me for the OAP category of the Future Awards Africa. She did this without my knowledge and even when I won, she still didn’t tell me what she had done. Someone else informed me. 

Since then, winning the award has opened so many other doors for me such as being the Nigerian representative of a panel in South Africa, to discuss the role and emancipation of women in African society.

Can you tell us about a time when your friend (s) helped you through a difficult situation in your career?

In the first year of my career, while I was more or less fresh out of university, I did not know anyone in Lagos and I was hardly earning anything. I didn’t feel like I was making progress and I was extremely frustrated. 

During this period, I became friends with Dr Kemi Ezenwanne. She constantly encouraged me and prayed with me. She also helped me get a foot into the modelling industry which eventually brought about enough funds for me to move out of my aunt’s house, and rent my own place. 

Without her, I may not have continued pursuing a media career.

How many women do you have in your power circle, and why did you choose them?

I have three different power circles. One consists of four women including myself, the other consists of three people, myself included and the last, five in total.

I don’t think I chose them to be honest. I think we realised how much we had in common and we just ‘clicked’ as friends. However, they have remained in my power circles because of their loyalty and support throughout the years. When the world saw me as a nobody, they were there. We have grown together and stayed together through stages of our lives; school, employment, marriage, childbirth and even divorce. 

No matter what though, we see the potential in each other and we strive daily to bring it out. One person’s success is a success for the entire group.

How do you think young women can network with other women to achieve career success?

I think now more than ever, networking is much easier especially with social media. There are people I am friends with on Instagram for example that I had forgotten I had never met. 

However, because we talk a lot and exchange ideas, it feels like we know each other inside out. 

Social media networking can start simply by liking or commenting on a person’s picture. Search for someone in a similar industry as yourself or someone who has inspired you along your journey and send them a message. 

Don’t just write ‘hi’ though. Make it personal.

What is your fondest memory of you and your girlfriends, from when you first began your careers?

Before I started working in Nigeria, my friend Deena and I auditioned for the X-Factor. Neither of us made it past the first audition. Along with our friend Sully, we thought we were going to become a successful girl band- Deena and I as the singers and Sully as a rapper. We never released a single together. Our dreams of a girl band were pretty short-lived. 

Fast forward and Sully is now a successful Investment Banker in London, I have become a multi-award winning Broadcaster and although Deena actually continued to pursue a career in music, she now has been booked for shows across Nigeria and the UK and her songs play on mainstream radio stations.

Finally, what advice/tips do you have for young career women, to help them build and maintain valuable relationships with other women?

I think the phrase ‘women don’t support women’ has been one of the most damaging statements for young women.

 I would say first and foremost, do not compete with other women. See them as allies. Celebrate their victories and try to lift them up in ways you can. They will do the same for you. 

Society is difficult for women generally but when we stand together, we have so much power.

#MyGrowthSquad series is powered by Molped (@MolpedNigeria). Connect with them on Instagram, Facebook and Youtube.


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HOW I WENT FROM MY 9-to-5 TO PERFORMING ON A WORLD TOUR WITH MR.EAZI – SINGER-SONGWRITER, TOME

Building a successful brand is challenging whether you are a small business or individual. Historically, breaking out has especially been a tough job for women in music and entertainment.

One talent who seems to have cracked the code in navigating the music business is a 9-to-5’er turned singer-songwriter Tome. In just 2 years of becoming a full-time singer-songwriter, she has performed with Burna Boy, Wizkid and Mr. Eazi on world stages, and she is just getting started.

In March 2019, she debuted her single L’amour and released her debut EP, The Money, in February 2020. With her mantra, “I am enough. I am TÖME”, she’s determined to become a household name and empowering voice to African women across the world.


Tell us a bit about yourself?

My name is Michelle Oluwatomi Akanbi. I’m a Nigerian-French Canadian Singer-Songwriter born in Montreal, Canada. I was raised in the diverse city of Toronto where I grew up listening to Fela, Erykah Badu, and Alicia Keys.

Music is a very important part of my life. I am my art! I put 100% of me into my music – sound, vocals, lyrics – all of it.

How will you describe yourself as an artist?

My music is what I like to call Afro-fusion. With a fun mix of genres, my songs have messages of love, fun, and empowerment. As an artist, I would say I am a lyricist with a message.

What influenced your passion for the arts?

I honestly can’t say there was any specific influence on my love of the arts. But I remember watching Superstar (1999) with Molly Shannon as a child and thinking to myself, I’m going to be a superstar one day. #Day1Dreams

What motivates you to get up every day to make music?

My motivation to keep going in my career is to make my family proud. I hope to provide them the ability to live the lives they want to.

Other people also motivate me. I am so lucky to be around people I can learn from. They add to my experience and view of the world which makes it easier to write music. There’s always a story to tell apart from my own.

Tell us about your career journey.

I’ve always been making music. I released my first project on SoundCloud in 2015 – an EP titled One with Self. It was a really personal project of 5 songs I recorded on my phone while I played guitar. 

In 2018, while I was still working as a Marketing Executive at my full-time job, I recorded Tomesroom Chapter 1 and many other songs. I didn’t release any of the songs at the time because I had no team and didn’t want it to go “nowhere”. I planned to do another year working at my 9-to-5 job and “learn more about the industry”.

In 2019 my dad (who is now my manager) heard my song L’amour and asked me if I was ready to work. I said yes and officially started my career as a full-time artist.

So far, I have been really blessed. In my first year as a professional recording artist, I have shared the stage with incredible talents like Wizkid, Burnaboy, and done a tour with Mr. Eazi in Europe.

I have learned so much and improved my craft in such a short time. It’s amazing to know that it’s only the beginning.

What influence do you want your music to have on the African woman in today’s world?

I hope my music helps women accept their own strength. Every time I get on stage, I remind myself – “I am enough. I am TÖME”.

I want to show that the African woman can be and do anything. You don’t have to limit yourself to what anyone wants to tell you to be. All the obstacles in your way are only temporary. 

You attract what you think and if you are focused and know what you want, you can never fail.

What are your top 3 tips for young African women looking to make their mark in their career or business?

  1. Stay on-trend. You have to continuously push yourself to experiment to stay as relevant as possible and grow. 
  2. Stay open-minded and knowledgeable. It’s the same whether you have a 9-to-5 or business.
  3. Stay true to yourself. People can tell when you’re not being genuine. You will never make your mark if you don’t know yourself and get lost in other people’s vision of you.

Follow Tome’s journey and vibe to her music.

IG: https://www.instagram.com/Tomeofficial_/
Fanlink: https://fanlink.to/tome

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Hey Sis, Where Does All Your Money Go?

Have you ever wondered where all your money goes before payday? You are not alone in the struggle. Tracking your expenses is an important first step in financial literacy.

Zikoko, a culture and entertainment digital magazine based in Lagos, Nigeria, asked a sample of women how they spent the bulk of their income in the past month of the interview.

Here are some of the ways women responded. Can you relate?


I spend a lot on Uber rides

I don’t have a car and I hate moving around with public transport, so all my coins go to Ubers. Thankfully I can afford it.

It’s hard to calculate how much of what I earn goes to Ubers because I have a 9-5 and a pretty great side gig. But I’d say 20% of the income I get from my 9-5.

I’m aware that it’s a little ridiculous to spend so much money on just transport. But my life’s motto is comfort first. Plus Ubers saves a lot of my time, and I hear time is money.

Weaves. Weaves. Weaves.

I have a government job so my salary is a joke. But I have an online business that does quite well.

The average cost of my wigs or weaves is about 150k (~$400). My 9 -5 pays about 80k (~$210) a month. So I guess I spend like two-months salary on hair.

I’m not ashamed of it. It’s not like I buy weaves all the time. I can still afford to put food on my table and pay my rent thanks to my business.

My rent is expensive

The first year I moved out to live on my own, I had a flatmate. She left the country the year after, and I got stuck paying the full rent. I paid it in hopes of getting another flatmate, but I’ve had no luck yet.

I’d say the bulk of my money goes to rent. I earn 300k ($810) a month and my rent is 1.2 million (~$3,260) a year. This means 100k (~$270) of my monthly income goes to saving for my rent.

I really like my apartment and have no plans to move out. So for now, I have to keep paying the rent.

.

Internet is so expensive

I don’t have a job so my ‘income’ comes from an allowance from my parents which usually adds up to about 50k (~$135) monthly. I spend about 15k (~$40) on data every month. So data costs make up most of my expenses.

Food, I don’t like to cook

I don’t like to cook, so feeding can get a little expensive for me.

I’ve never sat down to do the math but between groceries, eating out and buying food every day I must be spending about 40 to 50% of my income on food.

My struggle skin won’t let me live

I have very problematic skin. I decided to start paying more attention to it about 2 years ago because a girl must SLAY.

The only problem is good skincare products are expensive. Don’t let those people telling you that black soap is all you need, lead you astray. They just have good genes.

I don’t buy skincare products every single month thankfully. On months where I run out of everything at once, I can spend almost 50k (~$130) on products. My monthly salary is 220k (~$590).

Makeup is expensive

I’ve always loved makeup and buying it wasn’t always so costly. But with the way the economy is set up, everything I love is now so expensive.

I just started a business as a make-up artist so I think most of what I make goes into buying new products. I spend like 80% of what I make on that.

I have way too many friends

In the past year, I’ve spent a ton of money on Aso Ebi. I’m at an age where all of my friends are getting married all at once and I’ve come to the realization that I might have too many friends.

I’m currently in between jobs so I can’t say how much I spend exactly. But based on my last salary, I’d say last month I must have spent 40% of my old income on just Aso Ebi. That’s ridiculous!


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world. Learn more about Zikoko here.

Here’s what you missed from SLAY Festival Joburg 2020

For the first time ever, SLAY Festival was held in Johannesburg South Africa, on March 7th and it was a VIBE!

More than 1200 women came together to attend a one-day learning and networking experience. There were speed networking sessions where we saw our SA boss ladies work the room, and make new connections, and then our Keynote Speaker Bonang Matheba, made her entrance and taught us all about making money moves. 

All attendees had direct access to some of Africa’s biggest and brightest innovators, including celebrity chef and entrepreneur Mogau Seshoene, youth activist Zulaikha Patel, TV presenter and model Kim Jayde, Africa Director for Global Citizen Chebet Chikumbu, doctor and mental health advocate Dr. Khanya Khanyile, Managing Director for TRACE Southern Africa Valentine Gaudin, actress Ayanda Thebethe, author and personal finance coach Mapalo Makhu, Head of Marketing for Google South Africa Asha Patel, Swiitch Beauty CEO Rabia Ghoor and many more.

It was a full day of interesting mainstage panel discussions, networking sessions, masterclasses, mogul talk sessions, shopping from local vendors and loads of fun. Our Mzansi queens showed up, and showed out!


So whether you missed the event, or you want to relive the SLAY Festival Joburg 2020 experience, this is your first behind the scene look, at the brands, experiences, and fun that went down at SLAY Festival Joburg 2020.

We upgraded our business skills with AUDA-NEPAD

In line with their flagship project, “100,000 SME’s by 2021, AUDA-NEPAD Senior Programme Officer, Unami Mpofu, led an interesting conversation on growing a sustainable business and accessing funding for a business.

We learned new career and digital skills with Women Will

Women Will, a Grow with Google program hosted private mentorship sessions and masterclasses throughout the day, focused on career growth for millennial women in the workplace, and tips on how women can use digital skills to grow their business.

We slayed our hair with Dark and Lovely

Dark and Lovely our official haircare partner, treated our queens to a full glam station, where they were able to try new products and get new hairstyles. During a special masterclass, they also got to learn the latest styling techniques, to keep their hair slayed and popping.  

We bloomed with Glade

Glade brought a one-of-a-kind sensorium experience that was just the breath of fresh air guests needed. They also hosted an engaging discussion on how women make Africa bloom with Poppy Ntshongwana, Monalisa Molefe, Nkgabi Motau and Martha Moyo and Christine Jawichre.

We discussed topical issues with Global Citizen

Global Citizen allowed attendees to engage in conversations on issues affecting women, and other topical issues, which was very enlightening for our  SLAY Festival attendees.

We vibed with Trace

Our official media partner Trace, brought in the entertainment and cool vibes with their interactive photo booth and green screen, and there was never a dull moment there.

There you have it, this was your official behind the scenes look at what went down at SLAY Festival Joburg 2020.

We Came. We SLAYed. We were WITHIN!

SLAY Festival Joburg 2020 was a vibe and more. The moment the gates were opened, to when the last person left the room, we learned, unlearned and relearned, while having so much fun.

So here’s raising a glass to all our SA queens who made the time, energy and resources that went into planning SLAY Festival Joburg totally worth it.

Click here, to watch the highlights from SLAY Festival Joburg 2020.

Molped Feature on Odunayo Eweniyi: Co-Founder, PiggyVest

Molped sanitary pad is a product from Hayat Kimya Limited (manufacturers of Molfix diapers), and is a skin-friendly, ultra-soft, sanitary pad, designed to make young girls feel as comfortable, soft, and secure as they feel beside their best friends.

Molped’s breathable layer keeps young women fresh, and it’s skin-friendly, cottony soft layer does not cause irritation. Molped sanitary pad is every girl’s best friend, helping them be more confident, and supporting them through their periods.

Molped has partnered with She Leads Africa to highlight the beauty and importance of valuable female connections. 

About Odunayo Eweniyi

Odunayo Eweniyi is the co-founder and Chief Operations Officer of PiggyVest. She previously co-founded pushcv.com, one of the largest job sites in Africa with the largest database of pre-screened candidates. She has 5 years’ experience in Business Analysis and Operations and is a First-Class graduate of Computer Engineering, Covenant University, Nigeria.

She was named one of Forbes Africa 30 under 30 Technology in 2019 and one of 30 QuartzAfrica Innovators 2019. She sits on the advisory board of TrainFuture, an education technology company based in Switzerland, as well as the Gender Lens Acceleration Best Practices Initiative, a collaborative effort of Village Capital, US and the International Finance Corporation (IFC)’s Women Entrepreneurs Finance Initiative (WeFi). 

In 2019, she was named SME Entrepreneur of the Year West Africa by The Asian Banker’s Wealth and Society and she is the youngest Nigerian on Forbes Africa list of 20 New Wealth Creators in Africa 2019.

Odunayo was also one of the featured speakers at the World Bank-IMF Annual Meeting in 2019. She is one of Business Day’s Spark 2019 Women to Watch and made the World Women in Fintech Power List for 2017; the YNaija Most Influential People in Technology 2017 and 2018. She is a 2018 Westerwelle Young Entrepreneurs fellow; and she is a recipient of The Future Africa Awards Prize in Technology 2018.

In honour of her work, she was named one of 100 most inspiring women in Nigeria 2019 by Leading Ladies Africa, one of 50 most visible women in Tech by Tech Cabal in 2019. She is also included on the #YTech100 2019 list of the brightest Nigerian technocrats. She is the Her Network Technology Woman of The Year 2019. She was also voted The Most Influential Young Nigerian in Science and Technology 2019.

She works to support the inclusion of women in technology by working with hubs and female-focused networks like For Creative Girls, GreenHouse Labs, She Leads Africa, Itanna etc. She is also the cofounder of the women’s community, Wine and Whine Nigeria.

You can connect with Odunayo on LinkedIn, Instagram and Twitter.

What does friendship mean to you?

Well to me, friendship means mutual understanding and reciprocity. I like to think of all my friendships as safe spaces that are characterized by genuineness, shared values and free of ignorance and discrimination.

Can you tell us of a time when any of your girlfriends connected you with a career or business opportunity?

Yes actually, in a previous life I was a part-time tech journalist and my friend, Dami, connected me with a well-paying, writing gig at an international magazine. I even ended up working there for well over a year.

Is there a time when your friend(s) helped you through a difficult situation in your career?

I have a  young career, so no difficult situations have stood out there, but my friends are constantly helping me out of sticky situations, and outside of work, they always come through for me.

How many women do you have in your power circle, and why did you choose them?

I have five women in my power circle and the thing is, I wouldn’t say I chose them, as much as they accepted me for who I am. As a person with Asperger’s syndrome, I am definitely an acquired taste.

So these five women, who are actually angels really, have moved through life with me with an understanding of who I am and I, them. But in addition to that, we share values, and despite having varied and many different goals, we work towards it together by supporting each other.

How do you think young women can network with other women to achieve career success?

To be honest, I think that would be much the same as they network with anyone else. There’s really no special way to relate with women. I think if you just treat people in general with empathy and respect, then you’re well on your way.

What is your fondest memory of you and your girlfriends, from when you first began your careers?

I actually started having girlfriends, or friends at all, after I started my career. So the memories we built, were built after we all started working and were at many different points in our lives.

Finally, what advice/tips do you have for young career women, to help them build and maintain valuable relationships with other women?

I think this is really general advice to maintain valuable relationships with everyone. It’s this simple, have empathy, have respect and always pay it forward. 

To add a caveat though, I 100% believe that female friendships save lives, so I definitely encourage young women to have specifically female support systems. But just overall, move through the world treating people fairly, whether you want from them or you’re giving to them.

#MyGrowthSquad series is powered by Molped (@MolpedNigeria). Connect with them on Instagram, Facebook and Youtube.


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5 Experiences You Shouldn’t Miss At SLAY Festival Joburg 2020

Warning: This article might make you rush off to get your SLAY Festival ticket.

SLAY Festival is coming to Johannesburg, South Africa for the first time on 7th March 2020, and we are getting ready to have an absolute blast and unforgettable experiences.

Want to know what experiences to expect at SLAY Festival Joburg 2020? Here’s your ultimate checklist so you know when and where the magic is happening. You’re welcome sis, you know we always got your back!

Upgrade your skills with AUDA-NEPAD

AUDA-NEPAD is the development agency of the African Union with a deep commitment to providing economic opportunities for Africa’s next generation.

At SLAY Festival,  AUDA-NEPAD is coming through for all the ambitious Motherland Moguls with training and skills development opportunities. So if you’re coming for a mix of fun and learning, AUDA-NEPAD has you covered.

Join Glade in conversation and celebration of South African women

Glade South Africa will also be bringing a breath of fresh air with an exciting discussion celebrating how women make Africa bloom. So make sure to look out for Glade’s sensorium and enjoy an experience you won’t forget in a hurry.

Slay your crown with Dark and Lovely

It’s okay to be obsessed with your hair and want all the details on how to keep it healthy and slayed all year long. Get all your hair tips and tricks from Dark and Lovely at SLAY Festival, so you can make a bold hair statement all through 2020.

Unlock new levels of growth with Women Will

Get the upgrade you have been looking for with Women Will. If you’re looking for the perfect opportunity to learn new digital skills and connect with other young professional women like you, then don’t miss Women Will, a Google initiative at SLAY Festival.

Engage with Global Citizen on global issues

You can be a part of the change with Global Citizen. If you’re looking for an opportunity to have important conversations about ending world hunger and other topical issues, then join Global Citizen in conversation at SLAY Festival.

Get your groove on with Trace

Grab your dancing shoes and get ready to vibe all day because Trace will be at SLAY Festival, bringing music, positive vibes and fun for all the queens looking to unwind and have some fun.

There you have it girl. This has been your ultimate SLAY Festival Joburg 2020 experience checklist. So if you’re still wondering whether or not to attend, we just gave you 5 reasons plus one, why you should. 


We can’t wait to meet you at SLAY Festival Joburg 2020 queen, so until then, make sure you stay glued to our Instagram account, so you can see the updates as they happen.

Foodies Salone: Disrupting the Sierra Leonean hospitality industry

Foodies Salone is a Branding and Marketing Consultancy Firm founded by three young visionary women: Mariama Wurie, Aminata Wurie, and Onassis Kinte Walker.

In this interview, Mariama shares her story and thoughts about her journey as an entrepreneur.


How I turned my passion for food into a business

When I moved back to Sierra Leone in 2016, I started working for a local and an international NGO at the same time.

Since the NGO didn’t have an office, it was quite common to work from a café or restaurant to use the free Wi-Fi for the day. I spent a lot of time in my car driving between meetings and coffee shops.

Every day, my colleagues and I would work in a different place: new restaurants, new hotels, new cafes, etc.

Coming from Montreal where the food scene and customer service culture is amazing, I noticed this was not the case in Freetown. Everywhere I went, there was always a reason to complain to the manager, or ask to speak to the owner.

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Very quickly I realized that the same complaints were coming up wherever my partners and I went. We summarized that these problems were usually around product and service.

  1. In most restaurants, there was a lack of consistency in quality and menu variety – most restaurants served burgers, fries, pizza, pasta, shawarma.
  2. Most restaurants didn’t adjust their menus to focus on local ingredients.
  3. A lot of waiters were poorly paid and managers often did not invest in hospitality training.

We thought solutions to these issues will help restaurants achieve variety and consistency. Services like menu consulting, branding and customer service are just what many Freetown restaurants needed.

With Foodies Salone (Foodies), we decided to build something that would motivate establishments to step up their game and improve their standards.

How we started Foodies Salone

We tested out our business model through a lifestyle Instagram account. Our strategy was to highlight restaurants that were building Sierra Leone’s dining culture. Any featured restaurants had to be locally owned, pay fair wages and have good customer service.

With Sierra Leone’s small economy, restaurants rely on a limited customer base to make a profit. Within months of running an Instagram account, Foodies Salone began to influence consumer behavior.

Our social media test allowed us to establish ourselves as an authority in branding, marketing, staff training, online listing and advertising, and business development to the multiple restaurant owners who began to reach out to us to improve their product and service.

Soon enough, demand became bigger than 3 of us could handle. With our business model tested and validated, we created our service package, registered our company, and opened a bank account.

Lessons we’ve learned

Educating the market

At the beginning, restaurant owners did not understand what we were trying to do.

We were talking about apps, websites, and social media, but they barely knew how to use Pinterest. We worked extremely hard to find simple ways to explain what we did and how it would help them.

Factoring in knowledge and infrastructure gaps was not something we had initially considered. For startups looking to innovate in unstructured markets, this should be something to consider in your game plan.

Be patient with your monetization plan

As three young African women trying to run a business in our own country, we faced a lot of hostility. On top of that, my own friends were quite skeptical about what I was doing.

The beginning was quite hard because I had no money. I was dead broke for the first nine months.

Most people knew about the Foodies Salone Instagram page, but they did not understand how we planned to monetized the brand. They were constantly asking me: “do you even have a real job? How do you make money? How can you afford to travel?”

When we started, we made a conscious decision not to touch the money we made and to re-invest all the profits into the business. I was living on my savings and nothing was coming in. It’s only when it became hard to put gas in the car to drive to a meeting that we started using part of the profits.

When you start a business, times are going to get hard. But, just stick with it. Forget the haters. forget the gossip. You have something good here and it's amazing – @MariamaWurie_ Click To Tweet

Just stick with it. You’re broke? Yeah, it’s a start-up. It will get better.

Advice for anyone looking to start a company?

  1. Solve a problem. Necessity is the mother of invention. If you are looking for inspiration on what kind of business to start, think about things that are lacking in your routine.
  2. Do NOT accept freebies. Some people will try to get you to work for free with gifts. Always assess the value of what you are given and the reasons why they are given before accepting.
  3. Stay professional. As a woman, people will be more critical of you. Make sure you keep everything professional. Stick to business.

Looking to boost your business/career? Sign up for the Motherland Mogul Insider program here.

Relationships Like Buses: A Motherland Mogul’s Op-Ed

If we all look out for ourselves in life and business, why don’t we do the same with romantic relationships?

Relationships are like buses – In a world where women are expected to wait to be chosen, this is my candid take on why women need to put themselves first in romantic situations.


Better to be alone than with someone Emotionally Unavailable.

The first time I heard the phrase ‘emotionally unavailable’ was in my junior year of college.

I met this boy during an internship and the moments leading up to us talking to each other were electric. Whenever he spoke, I felt every muscle in my body twitch and felt like I was walking on air. This boy was good looking, driven, but short.

He captivated me in a way that I hadn’t been before especially with how he looked at me. He called me regal. Of course, I should know that I was, but my naïve mind sought this kind of validation.

Although we claimed to really like each other, there were no labels. He said he didn’t believe in labels. “What does that do for anyone? You know I like you and you obviously like me beyond a reasonable doubt. Why do we need to prove this to anyone?”, he said.

The problem was that I wanted more. I finally hit my breaking point and asked for more. He replied, “I’m emotionally unavailable”.

If you ever hear this phrase, run! You need to love yourself enough to be alone rather than tag along with someone who explicitly tells you they don’t want you. You’ll be wasting significant time trying to get their attention and it will end in hot tears.

Please, get a hobby instead. 


Know what you want and when to walk.

The first time I heard ‘no labels’ was in my first almost relationship – a situationship that never sailed – thank goodness. The whole experience always felt uncomfortable because he never matched my energy.

“But I told you where I stand already” is a very unique slap in the face I don’t wish on my worst enemy. The fact is love is not by force. No matter how much you love a person, you cannot force them to love you.

‘No labels is a tricky trap because you can convince yourself it’s what you want. If you put your own interests first, you are able to objectively evaluate what you want out of any situation.

If you are on the same page in a ‘no labels‘ situation, giddy-up. Just make sure that you’re ready to get off that ship when you need to.


Love = Time = Money. Don’t waste it.

If your first reaction to the phrase hopelessly devoted is – ‘that could never be me‘ – think again. Waiting around is not just for single people. You could very much be in a hopelessly devoted relationship.

Boys are not bats and men are not from Mars – no one is. If you are waiting for someone to realize they are blind to treating you right, stop it!

If other people are assessing whether you’re worthy of their love or friendship, so should you. You wouldn’t walk into a business deal without vetting your prospective partner. If you are this thorough in business, why not in love?

Don’t make excuses to explain why the situation works for you when in reality it doesn’t. Choose yourself and guard your treasure chest. Love is time and time is money.


If you have to Google it – 🚩

Never have I ever – googled “what does it mean when someone says…” 

Here is a list of 5 things you need to google instead –

  1. Books every professional should read
  2. Blockchain Technology
  3. Exchange-Traded Funds (ETFs)
  4. Small steps to take to improve my health
  5. Strategies to grow my career

We’re all headed somewhere, and we usually find people along the way who become a part of our journey. If you hitch a ride with someone that isn’t headed in the same direction, do you go to their destination and hope that someday they will be headed to yours? It’s the same with relationships.

If we all think of all our relationships like they were buses, we would be more mindful of who we give our time, as well as their contribution to helping us become the people we want to be.

HOW TO MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS AND STAY EFFECTIVE AT WORK DURING A BREAKUP

Ever had to go to work after being dumped or signing your divorce papers. It sucks!

You have no time to be in your feelings or listen to songs that help you cry because you still have to do your job. The worst part is that the world carries on as if something horrible hasn’t happened.

Since you can’t use up your sick days to nurse your broken heart, how do you resume work and stay focused?

I’m Nike Folagbade, a life coach and therapist who has helped many broken hearts and survived my own heartbreak. Here are some tips you can use to heal and not lose your job after a breakup:


Don’t deny your pain

This is the first place to start. Don’t try to drink, eat and curse to cover your pains. Settle it in your mind that this has happened. This will help you to process the experience better. It is okay to cry, so hold a lot of tissue and excuse yourself to have private grieving moments.

Change your perception

This is not the time to wallow. Don’t dwell on blaming yourself or your ex.

Focus on having a healthy outlook. If your ex is at fault, accept that you can’t change him/her. If you are bear some of the responsibility, focus on what forgiving yourself and moving on. Take your lessons and focus on building stronger relationships in the future.

Stay in a circle of positive and funny people

When you are in the office, pay attention to other colleagues who make you smile and feel happy. Spend some time with them during your break time and laugh away your pain by getting involved.

Find someone you feel safe with to talk to

Silence never helped anyone. When you need to let things out, speak to a mature and wise friend around you or over the phone. You can also connect yourself quickly with a therapist you know online for first aid treatment.

If you are not ready to talk about it, let your manager know you are going through something personal.

Watch something funny between your breaks

It’s very tempting to wallow in sadness after a breakup.

However, continued sadness will not give you the energy you need to be effective at work. Higher dopamine levels have been associated with happiness.

Spend a few minutes in the office watching a funny skit on your phone. Laughing helps increase your dopamine levels which will boost your mood and energy for work

Write down your thoughts

Whether you keep a journal, use a notepad or app on your phone, write down your thoughts. Having an outlet for your emotions is an important part of healing that will help you quickly deal and keep you focused on reaching your goals.


Ultimately, you have to believe that there’s a better future, give yourself some time to heal gradually. While you might feel that the hurt will last forever, it won’t. Focus on the future that is brighter, get some rest when you get home and engage in activities that can make you feel alive again.

STEM WOMEN: 5 Reasons To Be Proud according to Black Panther

We need more STEM Women in Africa.

In 2018, Black Panther solidified its place in pop culture as one of the greatest movies of all time. In addition to highlighting #blackexcellence, the movie also normalizes African women’s place in STEM.

This representation in popular culture is especially important considering WEF reports a 47% global gender gap in STEM.

If you are an African STEM woman, here are 5 reasons you should be proud of according to Black Panther.


1. You are Ingenious

Wakanda is nothing without its Vibranium, and no one knows how to leverage this special resource better that Shuri – the Black Panther’s sister.

Throughout the movie, we can see how Shuri’s inventions have helped the Wakanda’s advancement in technology. From Blank Panther’s nanotechnology suit to the sound-absorbing sneakers, Shuri’s inventions solved a lot of problems for both Wakanda and her brother.

Shuri should remind you of why you are a STEM Woman – to create, invent, innovate and deliver life-transforming solutions to the world. The next solution the world needs is in you!

2. You are Important

While the movie is not called “The STEM Women of Wakanda” (Marvel, we wouldn’t mind a spin-off), if you take away Shuri’s inventions, the Black Panther would be a very different film.

As a STEM professional, you may never get billboard-sized recognition you deserve, but that doesn’t make your work any less important. Your solutions behind the great things your organization speaks volumes about how valuable you are.

3. You are Emotionally Strong

For those of us, especially in engineering, we see ourselves in positions to exercise physical strength but how about emotionally? Angela Bassett was the perfect actor for the mother of our superhero. Queen Ramonda was an embodiment of strength!

Sometimes, we see our products or solutions come to life only to die a few months or years later. Many times, we even see our ideas die before they see the light of day. No matter the odds, we are wired to stay strong and not give up.

4. You Know Your Stuff

Shuri, the STEM Gem of Wakanda, knew her stuff. She could explain anything to you and knew the workings behind everything powered by Vibranium. You could never catch her off guard.

Women continuously have to prove themselves in every professional field. It’s a much tougher battle in male-dominated STEM fields. As a But for you, you prove this wrong every day you step into the office and do what you do.

As a STEM woman, you prove your worth every day by dazzling all with the depth of knowledge you have. Take pride in your investments to improve yourself every day!

5. You are Multi-Talented

Not only was Shuri a tech guru, she was also a warrior. She did not opt to stick to her lab but got involved in what made her work valuable.

As an African STEM woman, you have a unique perspective the world needs. You have been blessed to do so much, you should never feel streamlined to stereotyped functions. You can always step into new vacant shoes and know what to do – because you can!


Are you a #STEMWoman? Share this post and tell us what you are most proud of accomplishing.

Contributing Editor: Judith Abani