Your blackness is enough on “Jesus and Jollof”: Podcast by Yvonne Orji and Luvvie Ajayi
The levels of hilarity from the Jesus and Jollof will have you spitting out your coffee and drenching your OOTD. By listening to this podcast hosted by two proudly American- Nigerian women – Yvonne Orji and Luvvie Ajayi, you’re let in on the secrets from being highly degreed women to breaking it into Hollywood as top class comedians, they spill the tea on glowing up and stunting on haters to make the best out of your hustle. If you’re about badass captions on the gram and Twitter- you’ll have a whole decade of content with Jesus and Jollof. Facts, no printer. I was introduced to Jesus and Jollof by my sister, after her non-stop giggles got me curious, “What was so funny”, I Thought. She’d just started listening but seemed to really enjoy it so I gave it a try “Couldn’t be that funny”, boy was I wrong. Yvonne Orji and Luvvie Ajayi easily switching between their Nigerian and American accents, talking about how they connected to their encounters with smooth-talking Naija boys, I was hooked. I think it’s incredible that these two Goat queens are out here breaking bounds. In short, listen to the trailer of Jesus and Jollof here Growing up in a whitewashed society, it’s hard finding your voice when you’re forced to think and talk in a certain way and especially when you have African parents waiting on you to finish your masters and bring home a suitable husband. Luvvie Ajayi, otherwise known as the “Professional Troublemaker” has got a lot to say on a lot of topics, as seen on her Twitter and IG, she’s hilarious all around. Luvvie is an award-winning writer, speaker, digital strategist, activist, and comedian- Ajayi is nothing short of a game changer. She has another podcast called Rants and Randomness, where she talks about her most pressing rants, raves, and faves on pop culture and the world right now. I have been a fan of Luvvie Ajayi since her incredible Ted talk on “getting comfortable with being uncomfortable“. Yvonne Orji, 34, received her masters in Public Health but opted to be a comedic genius against her parent’s wishes. I would say she’s the spicy half of the podcast, she isn’t afraid to speak her mind. Fairly new to the scene, this woman is here to break bounds. I listened to Yvonne’s Ted Talk where she talked about on her decision to remain a virgin until marriage. I was so inspired listening to her and kept looking for more. That’s where I found Insecure, where she stars as a headstrong lawyer. Luvvie joined forces with Yvonne Orji, to speak on the challenges of being immigrants, goal-oriented women with a heavy dose of comedy on their days starting up and living out loud, raising consciousness about real women and girls today. Jesus and Jollof is my top-pick for the podcast of the year. It might be a bit of an overstatement but I have never heard anything so raw, inviting and relatable as a young black millennial. It’s like having incredibly supportive besties as you rush through your day. Why Jesus and Jollof, they mentioned them to be “the two things they can’t do without”. I appreciate these amazing God-fearing women for giving me the courage to go for what I’m worth. We need more black voices sharing their stories, I think this podcast is a pop culture staple, If you don’t leave as inspired as I, I don’t know what else can do the trick. Catch Jesus and Jollof every Wednesdays on SimpleCast and do follow these queens on their social media @yvonneorji and @luvvie on Twitter. You won’t be disappointed. If you’d like to get featured on our Facebook page, click here to share your story with us.
A Motherland Mogul’s Reflections from SLA’s SheHive Toronto 2017
As African women, many of us have not had our life path paved with milk and honey. We have witnessed our mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, cousins, and kin put their lives on hold to work tirelessly long hours for little reward. As I get older, I see more and more within us lays a common internal battle. In the midst of enacting the legacies of our lives, many of us are also carrying ideas engrained in us by our families. Holding passions they have never known, we are constantly bombarded by family members pushing us to get into a “real career,” (aka becoming a nurse, doctor, or lawyer). For creative women, with entrepreneurial visions bouncing off their every thought, balancing these two worlds is a beast to juggle. We sit in a unique position, one where we must create the blueprint for our lives, because no one has come before us to achieve our success, and no one will come after us. What often halts us in our journeys is the countless intimate moments we have within ourselves. Moments that cloud our judgment, moments that awaken/terrify us, motivate us, or moments when we wish no one is looking. Most times we feel all of the above. To live out your legacy is soul-shaking work. What we forget is simple, following our dreams is not supposed to be easy. It is supposed to terrify you, wake you from your sleep, and place a fire under you that cannot be ignored. Last summer I had the amazing opportunity to Attend She Leads Africa’s, She Hive Toronto Conference. The conference cultivated a space for African women, ambitious beyond words to surround, empower, and inspire each other. Attending this event shook my soul but, more importantly, it forced me to remember the following: 1) Let your ideas manifest Too many times we hear and feel parts of our ideas, but most of us never actually give them a chance. We don’t nourish them with our energy and allow them to grow. What we do is the exact opposite. We allow them to sit idle, we minimize them with our doubt and create a reality that reinforces that we cannot accomplish them. We tell ourselves we don’t have the resources, money, time, blah, blah, blah! But, once we take that first leap towards our dreams, we allow the universe to become our GPS. 2) Be the energy you need We need to be our own number one fan and our own advocates. Women need to be a friend, sister, and lover to each other! Most times, we expect people in our lives to validate us, support us, and invest in us. But, are you the energy you need? Are you that push you want others to bestow upon you, to yourself? We need to give ourselves the energy we ask of others. Light up that room, be that never-ending inviting spirit, because you benefit from it the most! 3) Ask, ask, ask! Ask the universe. Ask God. Ask friends and family. Ask yourself. Be clear and specific when it comes to your goals and what you need from everyone. PS…. this includes figuring out what you need from yourself! Need I say more? 4) Know the kind of woman do you want to be We need to remind ourselves of what kind of women we need to be. What are you not willing to comprise? Do you have your values written down? What does your integrity mean to you when it is woven into your passion? If we remain grounded in these thoughts we will never regret anything on our path to our dreams. 5) Seek meaningful connections Networking. Yes, networking is essential. You never know who is in the room. You never know who may be able to assist you or how you can assist another person. But, even more, important than this, is understanding what meaningful relationships and connections you want with others. Seeking out meaningful connections means you are living authentically. You are not just thinking about a one-sided benefit. You are considering the person, as a person, a soul to connect with, and not someone who will only be used as a future commodity. 6) With passion, ALL things can be done Passion is our savior. It stirs you and your being. Our passions give us purpose and demands we show up. Our passions unlock our potential if we allow it to. Fulfilling the vision and legacies of our passions is terrifying, it will arise a world emotion from you (as it should). Stand firm in knowing the world is awaiting the gifts you have dug a grave for. Be still, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and remind yourself. “I will accomplish nothing without the taste of fear,” – Zainab Salbi This article was written by Amma Gyamfowa If you’d like to get featured on our Facebook page, click here to share your startup story with us.
6 Ways To Participate In The United Nations General Assembly (UNGA) – As A Non-Diplomat
If you’re in NewYork this September…tis’ the season to network with diplomats. Every September, the Big Apple is buzzing with diplomats, world leaders, advocacy organizations, nonprofits, foundations and even celebrities, who come to participate in the United Nations General Assembly (UNGA). The General Assembly is one of the six organs of the United Nations, and the only one in which all 193 Member States have equal representation. All members are called to discuss global policy issues in the General Debate. This year is the 73rd session, and the debate theme will be ‘Making the United Nations Relevant to All People: Global Leadership and Shared Responsibilities for Peaceful, Equitable and Sustainable Societies.’ [bctt tweet=”@lizgrossman87 highlights 6 ways you can participate in the @UN General Assembly, even if you’re not a diplomat. ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] UNGA 73 opens on 18 September 2018, with the first day of the high-level general debate set to happen on Tuesday, 25 September 2018. The debate is scheduled to last for nine working days, and will be presided by Maria Fernanda Espinosa Garcés, an Ecuadorian politician and diplomat. She is also the 4th woman in history to be elected President of the General Assembly. This year on September 24, the Nelson Mandela Peace Summit: UNGA High-level Plenary on Global Peace will be held to commemorate the centenary of his birth. There will also be high level dialogues on the fight against tuberculosis, the prevention of non-communicable diseases and many other topics related to the Sustainable Development Goals (SDG’s). But what if you aren’t a UN delegate? Fear not. UNGA is a gathering where anyone can make contacts, learn about current events, and even contribute to policy making. So how can you get involved and join the conversation? Here are a few tips on how to get in on the action. 1. Attend side events Because so many people travel to New York for UNGA, organizations capitalize on this and host their own related events to dive deeper into the topics they work on. In recent years, major campaigns such as Global Goals Week and Climate Week NYC offer opportunities for gatherings on the sidelines of the General Debate. You can also use the UNGA Guide to search by keyword, date and sector to find relevant events, or browse Eventbrite. 2. Contact your permanent mission You can get in touch with the permanent mission to the UN of your country to see what events they are hosting or partnering with. Sometimes, you can get lucky and snag a ticket or pass if they have extras simply by inquiring. 3. Hang out in the lobby of the Millenium Hilton New York One UN Plaza Set yourself up working remotely, having coffee, reading, or swiping through your Instagram feed from the lobby of the hotel where most of the diplomats are staying. You may start up interesting conversations with some VIPs (or those who know the VIPs) just by being present. Disclaimer: don’t break any federal or international stalking laws, and don’t be too aggressive, especially when someone is clearly working or busy. [bctt tweet=”To attend the @UN General Assembly, you can set yourself up working remotely, having coffee, reading, from the lobby of the hotel where most of the diplomats are staying. ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 4. Register to attend or volunteer at related conferences In the same spirit of side events, some major conferences also happen on the sidelines of UNGA, such as the Social Good Summit, Concordia Summit, World Economic Forum Sustainable Development Impact Summit, Goalkeepers and more. These may be by invitation only or involve a registration fee, but you can also reach out to the organizers to see if they need any volunteers. Getting your foot in the door is the first step. 5. Just show up Some of the most meaningful connections you can make during UNGA is when you just show up. Even if you don’t have a ticket or you don’t know the organizers, If you are confident enough, sometimes you can just walk in and sit down like you own the place. If you need security clearance to get into the UN headquarters, you may just meet a kind stranger who is willing and able to escort you as a guest. If all else fails, and you remain outside, you may still be brushing shoulders with people you can network with. 6. Use social media to contribute to the debates Most UN agencies, leaders, and attendees tweet, publish live videos, and share their thoughts during the debates. Follow the UN on Twitter for updates, as well as the different agencies most relevant to your interests. Different events, sectors, agencies and groups use different hashtags, but you can follow the overall debate using #UNGA and #UNGA73. If you’d like to get featured on our Facebook page, click here to share your startup story with us.
10 lessons I have learned since quitting my job to start a business
It’s been almost two years since I officially resigned from my job at a top consulting firm to start a business. For the last 20 months, I have been filled with either extreme anxiety or euphoria and sometimes, both feelings have coexisted from running my own business(es). It has been an experience like none I had had before, extremely excruciating, but also immensely fulfilling. Taking the leap to quit a comfortable job with potential for growth was not a difficult decision for me to make. I grew up believing I had the “Midas” touch — that everything I touched would turn to gold. I was optimistic. The prospect of extreme success was very exciting. I wanted to build the next Bloomberg or the next Warby Parker, in fact, I was like a child on their first day to school. And interestingly — my entrepreneurship journey has been more of a school than anything I had imagined. Here are just a few of the lessons I have learned and feel anyone planning on quitting their job to start a business should know. [bctt tweet=”About to quit your job to start a business? Here are 10 lessons you should learn from @Kazville ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 1. Do not quit your job unless you have actually started your business Yes. They say no one wants to work for a part-time CEO. But no one wants to work for a broke business either. If I could do it again, I would wait till my business has clear-cut cash flows before I take the leap. Sometimes strategy works easier and more efficiently than hustle. 2. Have enough savings to last you at least a year Nothing sucks like having to invest in a business and worry about your house rent at the same time. Stowaway enough cash for yourself to survive for at least a year before taking the leap. And by “survive” I mean your budget should also have an entertainment budget line — to fund those business coffee meetings and social gatherings. Do not start a business thinking your business will feed you from Day 1 because the reality is that it won’t. And yes, some people will argue that you can never save enough. I disagree! 3. Your 9–5 job is just as important to your dream as your dream itself I have read a lot of social media articles bashing employed people for building other people’s dreams instead of their own and I feel that these “motivational” quotes and articles are in such bad taste. A lot of my progress and support have come from connections I made while at my job. My job taught me so much about managing my business and through it, I interfaced with top CEOs and management people that have since become personal friends and supported my business. My first client came from my former employer. I am mentored by my former boss. The beautiful people modeling Wazi glasses on our website are my former workmates. If I had not had that job, I would not have much mileage today. [bctt tweet=”Sometimes strategy works easier and more efficiently than hustle – @Kazville ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 4. Start a business you understand Nothing takes longer and costs more than a business you have no experience in or understand. I cannot begin to count how much money I wasted paying ‘experts’ to make me furnaces that did not even work or molds that were defective. Don’t even get me started on how much time I wasted back and forth with excuses from the said experts as to why work was not getting delivered on time. Although I eventually pulled the business model off and actually started to make revenue, I think it gets any entrepreneur more mileage, success, and fun doing something they actually know and understand. 5. Get a mentor or two I have been lucky to have mentors throughout my entrepreneurship journey. They have not only offered me invaluable entrepreneurship advice but have also opened up their networks and shared their skills. They keep me accountable and on my toes every time I slack. 6. Keep your business simple Always keep your core business simple. Simple to implement. Simple to understand. Simple to pitch. Simple to share. Simple to scale. Innovation does not always equate complexity and just because your concept is complex does not mean it will be profitable. 7. Do not stop learning The best investment you can make is an investment in yourself as an individual. Of course, we have heard success stories of people who have made lots of money with no education. But education and business success are not mutually exclusive. As long as you have the opportunity, learn as much as you can. Do that online course. Take part in that workshop. Do that masters. Do that professional course. Granted, you may not need the degrees and certifications in the short run, but they will come in handy later and add to your credibility. [bctt tweet=”Just because your business concept is complex does not mean it will be profitable – @Kazville ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 8. Beware of the busy bee syndrome Many times entrepreneurs get busy with everything. Busy driving to meetings to discuss new ideas or running up and down to make meetings that add no value to their business. They are always busy trying one idea after another day after day and applying to every startup competition. Busy busy busy busy. Busy does not always equal efficiency and entrepreneurs need to treat their time like they treat their money. 9. Grow some thick skin If anyone had told me entrepreneurship would make me lose sleep in the middle of every night for a week straight, I would probably not have started. I have wanted to give up an average of twice a day over the last one year alone. As an entrepreneur, something will hit you so hard you will want to close shop and with your tail between your legs,
JESSICA NAA ADJELEY KONNEY: I TURNED MY BOREDOM INTO PASSION FOR FASHION BLOGGING
Jessica Naa Adjeley Konney found living alone quite boring so she chose to stay on campus after lectures to while away time. As spending time on campus meant more time on the internet, she discovered blogging and entertainment blogs in Ghana like Ameyaw Debrah. This led to her decision to turn her boredom into a passion to keep her busy after school hours. Even though she knew nothing about blogging, she took a bold step and her experience in journalism/writing to set up a blog called Fashion 101 which later turned to Trendsnblendsgh as she saw the need to rebrand once her blog began to grow. She chose fashion blogging because there was no platform specifically dedicated to fashion in Ghana especially Ghanaian fashion. Over time, her blog has grown to become one of the best in Ghana and the Harper’s Bazaar of Africa called Trendsnblendsgh the go-to online hub for everything African Fashion starting with Ghana. Jessica now covers fashion events, features fashion entrepreneurs, offers style tips, offers professional advice to young fashion brands etc. Describe how you first got into blogging Blogging for me started as a hobby to while away time during my days at the Ghana Institute of Journalism. I used to spend so much time on campus after school back in the day because I had nowhere to go as I lived alone, so being at home was quite boring. While on campus, I surfed the internet a lot and that was when I realized that there were entertainment websites like Ameyaw Debrah, Ghana gist blogging about entertainment and there were fewer blogs on fashion so that was the moment I decided to turn my boredom into a passion to keep me busy after school hours. Interestingly, I had no clue about blogging whatsoever but I took the bold step to set up my blog using blogger.com and called it Fashion 101. With no direction whatsoever I set out to start fashion blogging. I thought to myself that once I had experience in journalism and writing I could definitely put together some content for this blog and I guess I did. How do you keep your social media pages lit and drive traffic to your blog? I see myself as a fashion journalist because I’m always on the lookout for contents that will make the news. After every post, I made sure to share the link to my blog on all my social media platforms (back then it was just Facebook and Twitter) and I consistently kept sharing. I also attended fashion events and introduced myself as a fashion blogger because it was the most common term people could understand. This wasn’t easy initially because it was new to event organizers but consistency and relevant content got me where I am today. With regards to keeping the social media pages lit, we take a lot of time to curate images from different sources. We are always looking out for the best photos that will not only engage our audience but keep our timeline clean as well. We sometimes collaborate with photographers for some of the stunning images but quite often we source these photos from other pages or brands. How do you get clients and generate revenue/income? For a long time, I felt the numbers or traffic wasn’t enough for me to monetize so I explored other ways to raise revenue or income. I started offering digital marketing services to clients for as low as about 100Ghc back then. Then, I also charged brands who promoted their lookbooks on my blog and platforms and that’s basically been how I make money. Trendsnblendsgh has gone into brand consultation services and helping young brands establish themselves all at a small fee. Monetization is however on our to-do list for the year. [bctt tweet=”People don’t see your dream as big as you do so don’t rely on them for validation – @dje_djelyn ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Would you say fashion blogging is a great financial plan? Do you see a future with this career path? To be honest it’s not a great financial plan unless you’re determined to make it one. It’s new and fresh to people, especially in Ghana. Fashion entrepreneurs here don’t understand why you need to be paid for your services and it’s quite difficult and frustrating trying to get them to understand. I’d say have a financial backing, extra sources of income so it sustains the passion. At this point, I see it as a great career path for me. To be an editor-in-chief of one of Africa’s most renowned fashion website and some more career opportunities in this same field. Did you encounter any challenges when you started Trendsandblendgh? What did you learn from it? Always waiting for approval or validation/support. When I started trendsandblendsgh, I wasn’t so confident as an individual and also in what I was doing. I was seeking validation from others to tell me if this post was good enough or this idea was great. What this did was to slow me down entirely because until I had gotten approval or even support from someone I wouldn’t move. It’s one thing I have learned to fight and rise from. People don’t see your dream as big as you do so if you want to rely on them for validation, approval or support you might as well not start anything at all. Other than you, which 3 fashion bloggers are your absolute favorite and why? For style bloggers I love Irony of Ashi, her style is simply elegant. I dote on Afua Rida, I love her uniqueness in styling. I also love my friend Nuel Bans of debonair Afrik, I love his creative issues and admire his passion. Who is your number one fashion inspiration, favorite fashion magazine, and designer? With the rise of style influencers, it’s becoming extremely difficult to stick to one fashion icon or style icon. I tend to
Liz Grossman: Lessons learned from the 2018 Impact!Africa Summit Johannesburg
[bctt tweet=”In order to change things, I had to show people visible role models – Regina Honu @ragyare” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] In June 2018, Johannesburg was brimming with over 400 social entrepreneurs who traveled from all over the continent for the Impact! Africa Summit. This inaugural gathering was hosted by Ashoka Africa and the British Council. It was an event with an aim to drive solutions to empower African women and reduce barriers. These two organizations are the renowned powerhouses when it comes to social entrepreneurship. Joining forces, they truly made waves in promoting collaboration across contexts to solve Africa’s most pressing challenges. Tibagu Bruktawit of Whiz Kids Workshop in Ethiopia said, “If we want to bring change, involve more young women, make it easier for them to be here.” And Ashoka Africa and British Council did just that. According to Pape Samb, Executive Director of Ashoka Africa, “[their] mandate is to make sure everyone is a changemaker around the world,” and that cannot be done without empowering women. Impact! Africa drew some of Africa’s most successful female changemakers. This gave them several platforms to share their stories and inspire the next generation of leaders. Furthermore, Ashoka and the Open Societies Foundation launched the Women’s Challenge by the Challenging Norms, Powering Economics Initiative by Ashoka, Open Societies Foundation, and UN Women. At the Summit, twelve finalists gathered to discuss empowering individual women and removing systemic barriers they face. Solutions included taking an intergenerational approach to ending harmful practices, increasing retention rates for girls in school, and increasing gender inclusivity in economic opportunities. Here are some of the lessons I learned from some of Africa’s brightest female champions: “In order to change things, I had to show them visible role models – Regina Honu, Founder of Soronko Solutions, Ghana. Having someone to look up to and model your path after is critical to developing as a leader. Surround yourself with those who inspire you, study their successes and failures, and strive for greatness. “Sit with someone you don’t know from somewhere else so that you learn something new.” Sylvia Banda, a serial entrepreneur from Zambia. It is easy to remain with people you are comfortable with, those who know you, your community, and your solution. Take opportunities to learn from different perspectives to broaden your mindset about your projects. “There is no end to the supply of people driven by social innovation.” Amma Sefa Dedeh Lartey, Founder of Reach for Change, Ghana. As social entrepreneurs, we must remember that you are not alone. While sometimes it may feel like an uphill battle trying to change mindsets and think creatively to transform our communities, we have a whole community at our fingertips to lean on. [bctt tweet=”Sit with someone you don’t know from somewhere else so that you learn something new – Sylvia Banda ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] “Don’t underestimate the power of an individual!” Parminder Vir, CEO of the Tony Elumelu Foundation, Nigeria. Sometimes the challenges we are facing may seem insurmountable. They are too massive to tackle and we may feel that our own contributions can only do so much. But all it takes is one voice to stand out and break the mold. And remember, one mosquito in your bedroom can ruin your entire next day’s productivity. “Imagine if we work together, the impact we will have on the continent.” Vivian Onano, Global Youth Advocate from Kenya Collaboration is key, and female changemakers must learn to leave their silos, build a strong network and support fellow women. But we must also consider our male partners, and work alongside men to ensure they are also part of the solution. Watch out for the next edition of Impact!Africa, which will take place in June 2019 in Nairobi, Kenya. If you’d like to get featured on our Facebook page, click here to share your story with us.
Ekemini Dan Abia: I decided to help people identify potential abusers through Abuse survivor
Ekemini Dan Abia is a legal practitioner who got inspired by her work in the criminal justice system to create a community which supports and educates victims of domestic abuse through her Instagram page, Abuse Survivor. Abuse survivor aims to create awareness of the damaging effects of domestic abuse by educating members of the public, using Narcissism as a subject. She believes that helping individuals understand narcissism can greatly reduce domestic abuse in the home and its result in the larger society. Through Abuse Survivor, she identifies potential abusers and identifies abuse dynamics. She also provides materials and support for the recovery of survivors and counsels victims of all forms of abuse. What has been your biggest achievement as a prosecutor? Watching adults, children, as well as pre-teens who are victims of sex offenses, look their abuser in the eye and testify against him or her in open court. I am filled with a sense of accomplishment because I know that the person is taking back his or her power and getting out of the abuser’s control. What prompted you to start the platform Abuse Survivor? I was deeply shaken by the death of Ronke Shonde in 2016, who was allegedly murdered by her abusive husband. Reports of spousal abuse/homicides seemed to increase in 2017, and I recall asking myself “why couldn’t they heed the red flags before walking down the aisle”? So I decided to help people identify potential abusers and also highlight the long-term effects of remaining in abusive relationships on adults and children. I came to realize that a large percentage of those convicted for violent crimes are products of dysfunctional home environments and are people with unresolved childhood trauma. The pain and anger they carry around makes them gravitate towards crime or other anti-social behaviors. Knowledge of the above facts propelled me to create Abuse Survivor. Are you an abuse survivor yourself? Yes. I have been a victim of malignant narcissistic abuse. How do you vet the authenticity of the stories people send to you since its all done virtually? Most stories sent to us are accompanied by imageries which are very compelling with the victims pleading for their anonymity. I ask certain question which aims to validate their assertions without leaving them feeling we disbelieve them. It calls for tact and sensitivity, else we could leave a victim of abuse with invalidated feelings which is against everything we stand for. Would you consider yourself to be a social entrepreneur and if so, what would you say is the most challenging part of this role? Yes, I do. We live in a society where an in-depth discussion of abuse is given a passing interest, thus accessing funds to have more impact has been really challenging. Like most start-ups, this is the biggest challenge I have faced so far. You use NARCISSISM as a subject to educate your community. How has this impacted them positively? Lots of people have undergone narcissistic abuse without knowing it. As a result, they lived in utter confusion, depression and other health complications which is characteristic of victims of narcissistic abuse. Watching some members of our community gain clarity, stop blaming themselves and take control of their lives has been very fulfilling. Since starting the platform ‘Abuse Survivor’, have you had any support from anyone? And how has this contributed towards your success? A survivor of narcissistic abuse, who is also a member of our community reached out to me sometime in February 2018. Although living in the UK, she volunteered to build a website for our community. I am very grateful for this gesture. She has also become one of our resource persons. She is always on standby with brilliant and innovative suggestions. Having her as a support system right now propels me to keep doing what I do. What is the one motivation that gets you up every morning? I wake up every morning with the zeal to put out more information in order to reach more people. The knowledge that far too many people in our society are ignorant about narcissism motivates me. What is one piece of advice you would give to a woman suffering from domestic abuse? I would tell her that she is stronger than her abuser is trying to make her feel. All she needs to do is to see herself the way God sees her and learn to love herself. Only then will she have the strength to walk away for herself and to provide a better environment for her children (if she is a mother). How do you juggle your full-time job with managing your platform? To be candid, it is very tasking. However, it is easier because I am passionate about this topic and my full-time job inspires me too. I make time in the early hours of the day from 4 am to 6 am to plan my content. That way, members of our community never experience content drought. You currently run Abuse Survivor solely on Instagram. Any plans to move it to another platform? (Website, blog etc). Right now, we are working on our official website. We plan to make use of other social media platforms while retaining Instagram as our primary means of reaching out to members of our community. Do you ever meet with the women whose stories you share? The vast majority of those who share their stories in our community are impossible to meet geographically because they do so from all over the world. However, I have met a handful of them and they are the most resilient women I have ever met. What future plans do you have for ‘Abuse Survivor’? My vision is for Abuse Survivor to become the number one support system and resource outfit for victims of any form of abuse in Africa. We plan to innovate along the way. What’s your favorite book / Ted Talk of all time? My favorite book is Chimamanda Adichie’s ‘Purple Hibiscus’. I think that is where my interest in domestic abuse was
The Hidden power of mentorship: First take a hard look at yourself
I recently got a professional mentor. This was not something that had been penned down in detail in my goals for the year. What had been penned down is that I need to seize opportunities that will enhance my network. So as a true choleric, I jumped on any networking opportunity that presented itself to me. This rather abstract goal led me to join a mentorship forum for Human Resource Professionals whose goal is to provide mentoring opportunities to HR professionals through peer mentoring. Out of this, I got a professional mentor and I also got a mentee. My first meeting with my mentor happened early this year. Let’s call her Alexa. To say that I was intimidated is an understatement. Alexa has achieved so much. She is a high-flying career woman, she has a C-suite job, and reports to the Board. She is confident, she is witty and to wrap it all, she has an amazing sense of style. Ok. Stop giggling. I, on the other hand, have worked at my current job for eight years. I was not proud of my employer and I had been carrying this label that I work for the wrong organization. It was for that reason that all my job applications had not been successful. So much negative vibe about my work situation. So Alexa and I met at a beautiful restaurant and the conversation started with her telling me about herself. I wanted her job. She makes so much impact. Isn’t that all that us millennials want, to make an impact? Then the conversation moved to me. I told her about myself, my work situation and why I had signed up for a mentor. At the end of the meeting, Alexa told me that as part of the preparation for our next meeting, I need to identify the one thing I want to take out of our mentorship relationship once it came to an end. It was a wonderful evening I must say. When I got home later that night, I reflected back to my conversation with Alexa. It was like I was outside, looking into our conversation and I was deeply saddened by the picture that emerged. I started my career so positive, so energetic and with an attitude of I can handle whatever comes my way. Eight years later, to sitting across my mentor, I had changed to this negative person who felt like she had no power. This realization coupled with Alexa’s assignment on my expected outcome from the professional mentorship forced me to take a long hard painful look at myself. That was the only way I could change the narrative. I must say that it was not easy. I took some time out to reflect on my life and I realized that it was no longer clear to me what my vision was professional. The Bible says that my people perish because of a lack of vision. How true this is. If you do not know where you are going, anywhere is good enough. But anywhere is not good enough for me. Anywhere is not good enough for anyone. [bctt tweet=”Self-reflection is hard and painful but necessary for you to scale to the next level of your career – Priscah Motogwa” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] I want to live a life of purpose and a life of meaning and my career plays a huge part towards that. Pema Chödrön in his book, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times, says “The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.” Self-reflection is hard. Self-reflection is painful. But self-reflection is necessary for you to scale to the next level of your career. Do I now know what my vision for my professional life is? Yes. Do I have a plan of how to achieve it? Yes. It involves stepping out of my comfort zone by seeking opportunities that will make use of skills that I possess. Indeed, writing this article is stepping out for me. And so for my next meeting with Alexa, I know precisely what I want out of the professional mentorship I am being offered. In the words of Denzel Washington, “Show me a successful individual and I’ll show you someone who had real positive influence in his or her life. I don’t care what you do for a living—if you do it well I’m sure there was someone cheering you on or showing the way. A mentor.” Fellow female professionals, do you want to scale the career ladder? My advice, get a mentor. This article was written by Priscah Motogwa. If you’d like to get featured on our Facebook page, click here to share your story with us.
7 Lessons MotherlandMoguls can Learn From Meghan Markle
Well, she is no longer just Meghan Markle. She is now Her Royal Highness, The Duchess of Sussex. I love weddings, but boy I love a royal wedding. They happen once in a while but they always linger for long. Nobody could distract me as I watched Prince Harry and Meghan tie the knot in May. From the carriage to her page boys and little brides, spectacular floral arrangements, and silk minimal dress, everything. Meghan Markle was fascinating! The more I read about her, the more inspired I am by her story. She reminds me of two powerful women in the Bible, Queen Esther, and Ruth. Like the two women, her life is far from perfect- yet she is now the embodiment of royalty, purpose, and confidence. Here are lessons every woman can learn from Meghan’s page. Your Past Doesn’t Define You If it was up to royal protocol, Meghan wouldn’t be ‘Her Royal Highness’ now. She broke all protocols –she is a divorcee, raised by divorced American parents; one being African American. Yet that didn’t in anyway stop Prince Harry from marrying her. The past has got nothing on you. It can’t stop God from blessing you, giving you a new title and changing the course of your destiny. Stay Positive Meghan is the daughter of Doria Ragland, a social worker and yoga instructor and Thomas Markle, a daytime retired lighting director. Maybe she never thought that she would one day end up in the palace; not even as a distant relative. You can imagine how awful her parent’s divorce must have been for her. She was just six years old and the youngest of her two older paternal half-siblings. But that didn’t stop her. Surely she was remarkably positive and that mindset paved the way for a bright future. Don’t Laze Around Waiting For Prince Charming To Sweep You Off Your Feet Meg wasn’t sitting around waiting for a Prince to find her. Before meeting Prince Harry, she was a successful actress, UN ambassador, and blogger. It takes a lot of guts and hard work to reach certain heights where the world can’t help but identify with you. Meghan Markle was literally a chaser of knowledge in every aspect of her life. Meghan’s humanitarian work and passion for helping people especially women and children align perfectly with her husband’s charity work. That’s a power couple if you ask me! Don’t Fall For The Pressure The media hasn’t been nice to Doria Ragland, Meghan’s mother and only family member present on the wedding. Didn’t she have cousins, aunties, and uncles? In a world where numbers are deemed prestigious, Meghan only had her mum by her side. Sometimes all you need is that one person who has kept it real from day one. Don’t Give Up On Love Meghan had been in a relationship with Hollywood actor and producer Trevor Engelson in 2004 which resulted in a marriage in 2011. The marriage lasted only two years after which their divorce was completed in 2013. Since June 2016, Meghan has been in a relationship with Prince Harry, after they met on a blind date set up by a mutual friend. Last month, they made it official. I’d bet on my chocolate (Trust me, chocolate is the next best thing after my son) that her ex-husband wishes he hadn’t let her go. If only he knew what life had in store for her! She didn’t let the divorce stop her from falling in love again. And look what a fairytale ending it is! Keep Smiling Go ahead and have a look at that sunny smile. You would think that after being officially crowned a member of the British Royal family and the Duchess of Sussex, that she would show less of her teeth. Not Meghan! She is giving us the whole shiny set. If you ask me, that is how you know a confident woman who is truly being herself, not caring if she’s royal or not. You don’t know how much good a smile can bring your way. Apart from keeping you young and radiantly beautiful, you just might attract a handsome prince! Keep It Simple It’s a wedding! A royal wedding but Meghan isn’t moved by the fact that the whole world stood still for her. She appeared in a low bun, with pieces of hair falling out of place and proudly rocking her freckles. You could hardly spot any make-up and a dress that was simple but gorgeous. Do I have to add that her dress was modest and that there were no boobs or other assets on display? She wasn’t seeking to impress anybody. Except for her Prince of course. If he thought she looked amazing, it doesn’t matter what the rest of us think. Click here to share your story with us and get featured on our Facebook page.
AFFORDABLE FASHION STYLE FOR ENTREPRENEURS
Because budding entrepreneurs have to take on many roles while building their companies on a shoestring budget. They sometimes end up with little or no time (and a limited budget) to attend to their style/fashion needs. Appearance makes a good part of business especially when you are still climbing up the ropes and trying to spread your tentacles in the business world. It is however important for an entrepreneur to consider the industry in which you operate while putting your wardrobe together. It is best to keep in mind that what works for a tech entrepreneur who is constantly in meetings with investors might not necessarily work for a creative entrepreneur who attends more of networking events. Overall, the aim is to find a fashion style that’s affordable and gives a good impression of you as an entrepreneur especially when it matters the most. As a budding entrepreneur, you need to be able to slay on a budget. [bctt tweet=”Dressing for business is also dressing for success. Every entrepreneur must take note of this. Read more – ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Here are 2 factors for putting together a wardrobe that works and suits your budget. 1. DEFINE YOUR STYLE COMFORT: Always have it in mind that whatever your style is, it’s important to be comfortable in clothes. Clothes that are not comfortable can affect your mood, esteem as well as your general wellbeing. Ensure that whatever style you choose keeps you comfortable. CONFIDENCE: Even after dressing up in clothes, you must exude a level of confidence that helps you stand out in a crowd; So as you build your fashion style, remember to always step out with confidence and charisma. COLORS: Determine the colors that best suit your skin tone. After this, you can go further to determine which of these colors are most appropriate for formal than casual outfits. Overall, the goal is to understand how to coordinate outfits color wise so you always step out looking well put together. PHYSIQUE: Once you understand your physique, you can easily go for clothes that are the perfect fit for your body structure; clothes that flatter your good features and minimize the appearance of your “flaws”. ACCESSORIZE: Accessories can easily be used to give outfits an edge, depending on the occasion. Having accessories (like brooches, cuff links, belts, glasses, scarves, earrings) as part of your wardrobe can help you create different looks even without owning so many clothes. 2. FASHION STAPLES EVERY ENTREPRENEUR SHOULD OWN A well-tailored blazer (preferably black) – This can easily be put together nicely to achieve different formal and business casual looks. Jeans (dark rinse /black) – Ladies, you can pair this with heels and blazers to attend networking events; men can also pair with sneakers and blazers for the same purpose. Functional footwear – Neutral colored pumps should easily do the trick as they are comfortable, blend with other colors and are suitable for formal and business casual looks. Handbag or briefcase – A basic handbag/briefcase should do, it does not necessarily have to be expensive but should be in very good condition (not worn out). Dresses/pencil skirt – dresses and pencil skirts are very versatile and can be styled differently (with or without accessories) to get a variety of business looks. Ensure the fit is right and the length not too short Most importantly, choose quality over quantity when shopping for a business wardrobe; endeavor to buy the best quality you can afford. Handle your formal and business casual clothes with care especially when washing so you don’t have to replace them so often. Avoid clothes that are distracting and too revealing. Remember dressing for business is also dressing for success…. Slay on!!!