10 reasons you should be your own #MotherlandMogul before and after marriage

I remember the day it dawned on me that my husband would have his own income. After a long day on campus, I got home tired and needing a long hot shower but feeling so fulfilled.

It was in this long shower that I suddenly had this thought, “Somewhere across the world my husband is coming home from a long day of grinding too”.

This was the first time that I realized that I could one day enjoy the fruits of my husband’s labor. I have thought of how tall I want him to be, how I want him to be chocolate like Idris Elba and intellectual like Nate Parker but I had never thought of the kind of money he would make.

I guess I have never really felt like I was entitled to his labor. I have always thought; I can’t change my own tire or kill a roach on my own but darn it I can make my own money.

Too many of our African movies depict the man leaving for work while the woman stays at home wearing her perfectly ironed dress (because we all wake up excited to wear a head wrap and make breakfast). It’s either that or my personal favorite, the scene where the girl’s best friend —or better yet her mother— tells her she is stupid for not liking the rich business man who likes her. Because God forbid we love a man for other things besides his money.

I think we can do better. Here are my 10 reasons why you should want to be a #MotherlandMogul before and after marriage.

Because Beyoncé said so

Beyonce bossy

Nuff’ said.

So that you can treat your man

giphyWhen you can say to your man, “Babe lets go out, my treat”…The only words sweeter to a man’s ear is “the jollof is ready”.

So that you can treat yourself

treat_yo_selfRetail therapy is a real thing.

No one would argue with you for buying 4 pairs of designer shoes in one shopping trip if you used your own money.

Because you don’t want to be stuck like Melania Trump

Trump gifHopefully the whole world would not be stuck with Trump as the President of the United States.

Because men are great…but they are not everything.


*Musters up the courage to repeat Rihanna’s words to every aunt who asks when I am getting married.*

Because we have every right to dream bigger and aim higher than men.

Auntie Chimamanda summed it up nicely. You shouldn’t hold back for fear that you’ll threaten a man.

All women should dream bigger and aim higher.

So that you can leave when you want to (or need to)


break up gif

Aren’t we all tired of the narrative where a wife stays with an abusive husband because he is her bread and butter and she has no other option? Motherland Moguls can leave when they need to.

Because a #MotherlandMogul is her own rich man.

cher gif

Studies have shown that parents will give their children more freedom to be single if their child is financially stable on their own.

Ok that study is my own personal wishful thinking. Also if your parent is African, it doesn’t work.

Because feeling your self feels better on your own dime

giphyI bet you Beyoncé and Nicki did not have that much fun on set because Jay Z and Meek Mill are rich.

It’s because they know they will be completely fine without their men.

Because a #MotherlandMogul’s best position is CEO

tumblr_mvt29oaj4w1qdax0jo1_500tumblr_mvt29oaj4w1qdax0jo2_500*Makes mental note to say this to every guy who asks what my favorite position is*


About Anita Bonsi

Anita grew up telling everyone she was related to Nelson Mandela, because she has always believed that in order to be great, you should be near greatness. Even if that proximity is your fake grandfather. Discovering Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie last year reignited her desire for writing African stories and changing the way the world sees Africa. Writing for She leads Africa is a combination of two of her greatest loves: Africa and Girl bosses. She loves women who dare to change the world. She hopes to write stories that lead many African girls to be near greatness even if its their fake auntie, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

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