On loving you: 5 powerful videos on self-love to begin the year with

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the universe, deserve your love and affection.”- Buddha

Loving oneself is one of the most profound and yet also most difficult things to accomplish- it takes practice, patience, unlearning old ways of being and forming a new understanding of who you are as a person.

This is a journey I have personally been on for the longest time, I still find the need to remind myself to practice self-love even after reading and listening to tons of material on it. The truth is that practicing self-love is a lot like practicing good hygiene- it must become a daily ritual.

For those new to this incredible journey or for those looking for a slight reminder of what it means to love oneself, here are a few TEDx talks to inspire you, to love you.

Caroline McHugh: The art of being yourself

The message from Caroline in this talk is simple; your individuality is your greatest gift. You weren’t put on earth to be a cheap imitation of anyone else, you were put here simply to be yourself.

Caira Lee: I search for it blinded – the power of self-love and self-esteem

In this TEDx talk, Caira Lee, an award-winning slam poet uses her gift teach us about the power of self-love through her own personal story.

Marisa Peer: “I’m not enough” – The biggest disease affecting humanity

In this talk, Marisa Peer opens our eyes to the powerful connection that exists between thoughts about ourselves, our health, wealth and quality of life. You are enough. Pretty enough, intelligent enough, talented enough, strong enough, courageous enough…

You are enough.

Searching for love to escape ourselves Hayley Quinn

This wonderful talk by Hayley Quinn helps us realize that romantic love and the pursuit of it can be a form or escapism, simply an excuse not to deal with the real issues we have with ourselves.

 

Niko Everett: Meet yourself: A user’s guide to building self

“You need to meet yourself. If you could meet yourself, you might really like her!”

Allow me to finish this article off with a radical thought from one of my favorite books, “The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz”- In this book, the author uses the analogy of a magical kitchen to illustrate the importance of self-love.

He compares self-love to having a magical kitchen inside of us, if you had a magical kitchen in which you could produce all the most delicious meals you can think of, you’d never starve but most importantly, you’d never allow anyone to dictate to your being you while using food as the reward.

No one would come and offer you food in exchange for control over your life, your habits, and your decisions. However, if the situation were reversed, and you had no food, you’d allow anyone and everyone to control everything about your life.

This is the same with self-love; when you have a deep love and respect for yourself, you won’t let others control you, use you or even abuse you. A person might come offering love in exchange for control but you won’t let them in.

 

“But what is going to happen if you are starving for love, if you don’t have that love in your heart, and someone comes and says, “You want a little love? You can have my love if you just do what I want you to do.”

If you are starving for love, and you taste that love, you are going to do whatever you can for that love. You can even be so needy that you give your whole soul just for a little attention.

Your heart is like that magical kitchen. If you open your heart, you already have all the love you need.

There’s no need to go around the world begging for love: “Please, someone love me. I’m so lonely, I’m not good enough for love; I need someone to love me, to prove that I’m worthy of love.”- A mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz.


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5 Must Watch solid TED Talks on Self-Love

Self-love is an essential component to have in our lives yet, embracing and understanding what it entails can be complicated and difficult.

There are numerous ways in which we can hinder ourselves from self-love. We can judge ourselves, demean ourselves or get caught in the comparisons trap.

In the TED Talks below, the speakers elaborate on how to deviate from self-loathing and embrace self-love. The speakers discuss why self-love matters.

They share their experiences and provide tips on what we need to do in order to look and see ourselves the way we deserve, with value, worth and with our unique beauty.


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1. Caira Lee

I Search 4 It Blinded: The power of self-love and self-esteem

Caira, the National Award Winning slam poet speaks about what she calls radical self-love.

She discusses how we can look at ourselves with more love by embracing “our thing”/what we care about, being mindful of how we speak to others and also, ensuring to give self-love to others.

Watch here:

2. Ashley Graham

Plus Size: More like my Size

In this TED Talk, model and body activist Ashley Graham shares her experiences in her career, starting out as a model that did not fit into the traditional ideal standards of what a model should like.

Ashley believes there is no one perfect body and she affirms that beauty is beyond size.

Watch here:

You are bold, you are brilliant, and you can beautiful! There is no woman like you - @ashleygraham. Watch her Ted Talk on Self Love. Click To Tweet

3. Adia Gooden

Cultivating Unconditional Self- Worth

Adia Gooden is a licensed clinical psychologist. In this TED Talk, she admits her insecurities growing up and her feelings of inadequacy.

Initially, she tried to cover it up with striving for perfection, busyness and a relationship, but that didn’t solve the problem.

Adia discusses how therapy and working on herself has helped her to develop a good sense of self-worth. In this Ted Talk, one of her tips for self-worth is the need to forgive yourself.

It’s important to reflect, acknowledge the pain and what you learned from a situation in order to move forward. Adia speaks about letting go of how you think you should look and be. Rather, she says, you should embrace the quirks of how you are.

Watch here:

Embrace the quirks of how you are - @DrAdiaShani Click To Tweet

4. Cheyenne Cochrane

A Celebration of Natural Hair

Cheyenne Cochrane is an advocate in the movement for women to embrace their natural hair. In her TED talk, Cheyenne talks about some of the stigma preventing women from embracing their natural hair such as covering it up because of professional aspirations.

She discusses why embracing natural hair is more than a hairstyle but a part of self-love, individuality, and empowerment.

Watch here:

5. Brene Brown

The Power of Vulnerability

Brene Brown is a researcher and storyteller. She studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong and love.

In this TED Talk, Brene discusses what she has come to learn about people who have a genuine sense of worthiness, love, and belonging.

She shares that the sense of worthiness comes when we have the courage to be imperfect, the compassion to be kind to others, and to connect as a result of embracing vulnerability.

Watch here:

You can’t selectively numb emotions because, you then numb the other things..the joy, gratitude and happiness -@BreneBrown Click To Tweet

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