5 R’S to recovering from a career setback
Have you recently experienced a career setback? You are in good company. I sincerely believe setbacks are proof that you are alive and working at achieving your goals. Think about it, if you had no goals, no end in sight, how could you suffer a setback? Everyone has suffered a setback(s) at some point in their lives, but the ability to move on positively, is what differentiates one person from the other. I have suffered a number of setbacks as a professional (which I have bounced back from) and I would like to share with you my five practical R’s to recovering from a career setback. Relax Relax emotionally and physically. Cut yourself some slack by relaxing mentally and emotionally. We are often our own worst critic. You might have made a wrong decision, but you still have all the skills, talents and strengths you possessed before the career setback. Relax physically. Do something you love or something that gets you excited. Read a book, watch a movie or go for a leisurely walk. Pamper yourself. Go for a pedicure in a nail salon that is equipped with a massage chair. Tres relaxing! While you are at it, get your nails painted. I am pretty sure you will leave the salon relaxed and in a better emotional state. Reach out You may also need to draw strength and encouragement from your support team, which typically consists of family, peers, friends, mentors and coaches. So my question for you is: what kinds of support do you need right now? Are you at a point where you feel all hope is lost? Reach out to someone that can lend a shoulder to cry on, but still encourage you to move on. A little comic relief won’t hurt either. Are you confused and uncertain about how to proceed? Reach out to someone that has an analytical mind and can offer suggestions on how you can bounce back. Reflect You also need to take time to reflect on and learn from the setback. Could you have done things differently? What can you do to prevent or reduce the chances of a reoccurrence? Do you need to improve your skills or take a course? Try listening to or watching a TedTalk or Tedx Talk for inspiration or seeking advice from a mentor or coach, if you are drawing a blank. Resolve Resolve to do all within your power and reach to bounce back. I am in love with the rubber band person concept by John Maxwell. According to him, a rubber band person is someone who no matter what happens to them, always seems to bounce back. They are resilient people. Deciding to move on from a setback is a conscious decision or a series of conscious decisions. Resolve to be a rubber band woman, a resilient woman! Re-imagine Re-imagine your future, positively. Imagine sharing your story, after you have successfully bounced back, with start-ups, mentees or junior professionals in your community and inspiring them. Imagine giving a Tedx talk. Try to paint a positive mental picture of your desired future; it will inspire and strengthen you. Finally, remember, a setback is exactly what the term suggests; a temporary interruption or delay in progress. Don’t let a career setback define you, learn from it and move on stronger and wiser. Best of luck!
Walking away from pre-conceived notions
“You can take the boy out of the ghetto, but you can’t take the ghetto out of the boy”. That statement drives me mad and I get pleasure from proving it wrong. Why? Generalizations are not cool. I am from the Bini speaking part of Edo State, and if you’re Nigerian, you must have heard the popular saying; “Bini girls are loud, lousy, crazy, witches. They like going abroad to become commercial sex workers.” But you see, it’s not just common among Bini girls. There are pre-conceived notions associated with almost every ethnic group in Nigeria. “Ibo girls are money-hungry.” “Calabar girls are nymphos.” “Yoruba girls will do anything to keep a man”, so on and so forth. It’s even more annoying when educated people say these things. Let’s be real, this happens in Nigeria and I guess, other African countries too. I decided from an early age not to be defined by my ethnicity. Over the years, I have owned this resolve. Indie Arie’s “I am not my hair“ is my go-to song for kicking against convention and pre-concieved notions. I speak out against generalizations, whether in gender, colour, tribe, political or religious affiliations. I am not generic. I am specific, unique, and me! Unfortunately, some of us have allowed ourselves —and subsequently our families and businesses become products of these notions. Here’s a true confession: I secretly take pride in being an Aries. And the “Aries do not finish any project they start” statement is one of the biggest lies I ever heard. This belief shaped my life badly and for a long time, till I took control. I am tempted to just say “ walk baby, walk!” but it is not that simple. Here are my top suggestions to walking away from stereotypes. Define yourself Do not beat around the bush on this. I’ll be first to admit that I didn’t do this early on in life, and I wish I had. Taking self surveys and personality tests help to get a definitive self picture. A temperament analysis and if you are into it, your Zodiac sign can also help you get a clear picture. Filter In Nigeria, the statement “dem say, dem say” is used to define rumours. The prevalent view of your environment may not be normal at all. Don’t let it be. Filter what you hear and perceive. I’m not suggesting that you become oblivious. See, it’s important that you are aware of the workings of your area. Let go of dead-weights Please! This should be numero uno. Don’t go about dragging baggage and ideas that are probably as dead as the people who invented them . “Dreadlocks are evil” or “Girls should be quiet”. Ummm… no! Shed them faster than slimming teas shed fat. Re-brand As a follow-up to the previous tip, re-branding is simply psychological (let’s not talk about changing your wardrobe now). My mom calls it changing your OT (orientation). It is basically about changing your thinking process. I re-cultivated my mind on so many issues that were a part of my environment. Two major ways I did this were through books and the Bible. I read a lot about self-empowerment and growth and try to put what I read to practice. Positive re-enforcement You are so much more. Keep telling yourself that. I use sticky notes to write motivations to myself on my mirror. This way, I just can’t miss them. It’s scary thinking of how many people have followed uninformed predictions. Know that you can defy them. I don’t care what anyone says about Bini girls, that’s not me. I choose not to follow that notion and I do everything contrary to it. This is it, ladies, it doesn’t matter what people choose to believe about you, smile. Of course, we both know they know nada! So, walk away from generalizations and that “area” reputation. That’s clearly not you.
Be good to yourself: The art of self-love
We were all born and celebrated as cute little bundles of joy. Then we blossom and the cuteness somewhat fades away. Then comes the bosses, colleagues, mates, boys, men, and friends. This is when the seed of self-love you’ve sowed is put to test. If you have learnt the art of self-love, then you will easily get through life. Loving yourself more is not being greedy, selfish or unfair. We are taught to be considerate and put others first but never how to love and prepare ourselves for the journey ahead. While you can be generous and kind, it shouldn’t be with a low self-esteem. Self-esteem, self-care, self-acceptance, self-awareness, self-empowerment, self-respect, self-compassion, self-expression and self-worth are characteristics that all women should have. Notice that these words all begin with “self”? We need to get over the fear of the unknown and understand our worth by simply practicing self-love. Self-love is not a one-time event but an endless, ongoing process. “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” – Oscar Wilde Here, ladies, is what happens when you love yourself: You take ownership of your life and understand that it doesn’t matter what others think of you, but how you feel about yourself. You stop acting small and instead allow growth in. You let yourself live your purpose and see no need to compete, prove or compare yourself to others. Negotiations become easy because you know your value and will not settle for less. You accept your failures as learning curves and know your significance isn’t dependent on what you produce. You naturally attract peace and harmony in your day-to-day relationships. I’ve got some great self-love ideas for you. Honour and love yourself Think about what makes you happy and JUST DO IT! Put yourself first Act upon your own needs first, rather than on what others expect from you. Remember, other people’s needs are not your responsibility. Take care of yourself Exercise, eat healthy, pamper yourself and interact socially. Remember to treat your body like the temple it is and spend time doing things that enrich your soul. Set boundaries and maintain them Always let people know what you will and won’t tolerate. When you set boundaries, you avoid situations at work, in relationships, or in any activity that emotionally or physically damages you. Select the right friends Don’t waste time with people who won’t mind taking away your happiness. Spend more time with like-minded people or those that bring out the best in you. Do all it takes to be you Your purpose doesn’t have to be crystal clear but figure out what makes you feel good, and do it as often as you can. Feeling good is all the permission you need to do what you love. Acknowledge your imperfect self Stop judging and criticizing yourself. You don’t always have to win. Remember, it’s the effort that counts, no matter the results. Engage in spirituality By doing this, you will just learn to naturally fall in love with yourself. Improve your skills Look for opportunities capable of increasing your self-confidence, like making time to focus on what you are good at. This will boost your self-confidence and esteem. Identify a go-to place Find a place you can sit and embrace life without anything getting in your way. Forget about work deadlines and bills that need your attention. Have a moment to connect with just yourself. These suggestions will help you to develop a sense of accomplishment and pride in what you do and who you are. You will realize that you are worthy and talented and deserve to be loved. When you start experiencing the power of self-love, trust me, the effect will be magical and everything will simply fall into place. Life can actually feel really good.
Noluvuyo Cakwebe: There’s much more to fashion designing than fabric cutting
When thinking about a fashion degree, the popular career choice would be being a fashion designer or seamstress. But there are many more than that. Over the next few weeks, I’ll be unpicking this industry along with its various career options. I’ll be shedding a little light on each career option in this industry. I ‘e-met’ (met over email) Noluvuyo Cakwebe earlier this year when I was sourcing clothes and shoes for a photo-shoot. Her willingness to help, without knowing me from a bar of soap was amazing, I couldn’t simply forget her! Of course, when I started this journey of finding out more about this industry, I immediately thought of her! When Noluvuyo isn’t in the kitchen, (which she loves), cooking up something delicious to share with her friends and family, she tries to keep up with her love of running. She enters as many running events as she can. And in the few minutes she has for herself, she is always sewing up something for herself or her friends. My series of articles on fashion-related careers is aimed at educating people about the various career options they have with a fashion qualification. Would you say that someone who also has a National Diploma in Fashion has other options, besides being a Fashion Designer? Most definitely, most people think that fashion ends with being a fashion designer, pattern maker or fabric cutter, but it is broader than that. One can go into procurement —buying, sourcing, retail planning, retail–visual merchandising, sales, store management, personal shopper/stylist, editorial assistant, quality assurance and warehouse assistant/ manager. Yes! Being a fashion designer is not the only option! I understand that you’re a merchandise coordinator. Please tell the readers a little more about your position. I am the merchandise coordinator for the men’s fashion department, at Spitz. My role entails assisting the buyer with raising orders, liaising with suppliers and the marketing department. Also, I manage and receive department samples, compile trends and competitor reports, compile and analyze sales and month-end reports. And how did you get into this career? I studied a National Diploma in Fashion and further completed a certificate in Wholesale & Retail Buying & Planning. I studied at the University of Johannesburg and got my certificate in Wholesale & Retail Buying & Planning at EDCON under SETA. What does your typical day look like? It is nothing like a picture from the Devil Wears Prada! I come in every morning to catch up on emails relating to stock deliveries and due costing for the stock to arrive at the warehouse. Then, I ensure that we are receiving stock at a good margin and good price. I analyze daily sales by identifying good and best sellers (stock that’s selling well or badly) for my brands. Alright and how would you combat the poorly performing stock? How do help them perform better? As much as we try to buy styles based on fashion trends and sales history, it is sometimes hard to nail the sales we project. So we analyze what the possible reasons could be. For instance, it could be a certain style detail that could have been in fashion but doesn’t seem appealing to our target market. Other instances could be price-points. We may just be highly-priced compared to our competitors and need to reduce the price. Sometimes, we may have missed opportunities in allocating stock to the correct stores. So we move the styles to stores that are performing better. With our South African economy and unemployment looking very bleak, would you say that a career in fashion offers the possibility of entrepreneurship for graduates? Yes, I believe anyone can start any business with the use of their hands and minds. One could venture into making simple things such as handbags, accessories, clothing or curtains, to having a business that sources t-shirts, work wear, and small corporate gifts. Nowadays, most people are even making money from blogging in their spare time. Some sell a variety of products over social platforms, such as Instagram and Facebook. However, one should never underestimate the advantage of working for someone. That’s if you have a dream of starting your own business one day. You get to absorb a lot of skills and knowledge. Especially if you are intending on starting a business in the same industry. Experience can go a long way. What would your advice be to scholars who want to follow a fashion-related career? This might sound cliché, but I have always known I would end up in the fashion industry since I was a little girl. You need passion for the ever-changing trends, be creative and highly driven. Being able to work efficiently on your own, work smart and plan your week in order to make necessary deadlines are all important. A sharp eye for detail is required in ensuring that you don’t miss anything crucial. Breaking into the industry is tough and competitive. But if you have a vision of the future, your career journey will be enjoyable and fruitful. Have fun exploring other career paths that you could possibly have an interest in the near future. Never limit your abilities! Do you have any advice for the parents of the scholars wanting to follow a career in fashion? I have always appreciated how my mother supported me, from the day I told her what I wanted to study in varsity (fashion). There is a lot of pressure in delivering what is needed, especially when your child has more than 6 subjects in one semester. They will need support in advising them on how to manage their time, with school and their social life. Parents should prepare themselves for unforeseen expenses for projects and fabrics. With so many activities and promotions that are held on campus, they give your child an opportunity to make extra money. You can find Noluvuyo on LinkedIn as; Noluvuyo Cakwebe. Want to see women you know featured on SLA? Tell us what amazing things women are doing in your communities here.
Dealing with small minds around you
We all have small minds around us. I mean let’s face it, not everybody can be an out-of-the-box thinker. Now, picture this. You’re seated, excitedly sharing your dreams with a friend or a family member and the next thing you hear is, “Why?” Confused you ask, “Why what?” And they launch into an almost rehearsed tearing down of your dreams. Oh boy! You get questions like; “Why do you need to go to a fashion school, why don’t you just do what every other person is doing ?” “Everybody is doing it, so why should your own be different or better.” The really mean ones will go all out and tell you, “It will not work.” “Better just keep it small and forget about all that big dream.” Then they will call you names like, “I too know” or “over sabi.” If you’re someone really nice, you’ll probably spend time trying to explain to people who cannot see beyond the small scale. These people can’t see why your dream is not only feasible but a sure thing. The ones that sadden me the most are those who hide their disbelief small minds and even jealousy behind religious excuses. I’ve heard them all, “Money is evil, your plans are not ‘godly’” “Christians cannot go into fashion, or cosmetics or modelling.” As entrepreneurs and ladies, we sometimes have to battle negative feedback from those around us. Those who project their fear of taking the risks on us. Don’t get me wrong, not all of them mean harm. For some, it’s just they way they are, the way they have always thought. They can’t see outside the box. Evidently, that is not you, you see beyond that. You have probably gone through the SLA website and have seen what young African women are doing and you get ‘gingered’. Your dreams are forming, you’re redefining your plans, you expand your horizons, you go back to the board and re-evaluate. Oh, the excitement. You want to share the good news! But it’s straight back to the earth when somebody hits you with the dead weight of their own reality. You are shaken, you take a critical look at the economy and, uh oh, doubts are creeping in. Listen you don’t need all that. What you need to do is… Change your sounding boards Don’t worry, they will come around later. For now, at the early, fragile state of your dreams, you need a support team of like-minded peers, people who can see from your point of view and push you along. Know that that you’re not the only one Nothing is new under the sun. Everyday, someone gets a new idea, (well not entirely new but you get the gist). And each day, someone gives up on their dreams. Probably because somebody, anybody around them just couldn’t believe in the dream to be supportive enough. Don’t be that one who gives up at the end of the day. Don’t explain your self Popular Nigerian artiste, Olamide sang, “who you epp?”. I think that’s self-explanatory. Let the dissuasion push you There are several versions of this statement but grow with the adversity, anyway. Learn to use the attacks or negative words to grow. Remember the story of the donkey? Yeah. Be wise and picky The only consideration I take into account is from the Holy Spirit. Others, even my mum’s, are subject to scrutiny and probable discard. As much as I love my family and friends, we’re not all on the same wavelength. Realize that it will be hard And don’t let it discourage you or make you believe your small-minded crew. Initially, it’ll be hard and for some, harder than others. On some days, there may be virtually no results and you may run at a loss. But your first victory is always sweet. Be convinced They are your dreams, yeah? Good. Then be convinced about them. It will take all the conviction you have to stay on track and not veer off when those around you are taking apart your well-laid plans with their words. You will second-guess yourself, you will be tempted to concur. You might just as well throw up your hands and give up. Nah, that’s not an option. Be centered Focus. Centered. Same thing. Keep your eyes on the goal. Don’t reduce your goal down to your power. Instead, match up your goal with your faith. Think up. The best athletes know not to look at the other athletes when running. But to keep their eyes on the finish line. It’s all for the love Remember, it may all be for the love. Those that care about you, don’t want you making mistakes. Still, you should filter. While I am tempted to say zone out, I’ve come to realise that sometimes listening to the not-so-toxic criticisms can inspire you to tweak your plans. It can also open your eyes to loopholes. Above all, start on the dream and keep going forward. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Are invisible scripts ruling your life?
Scripts are stories that are created from the perceptions of people we interact with on a daily basis. They range from our families, teachers and colleagues to the general community we live in. Scripts can also be developed through our experiences and culture. If you grew up in a community where finishing school was unheard of, then you might think that finishing school is out of limits. We unconsciously allow our lives to be led by invisible scripts some of which are imposed by other people, while others are self-imposed. The first time I went for a driving test, everyone I tested with passed. I failed. The instructor told everyone who was willing to listen that some people are just too bad with machines to handle driving. It was quite a frustrating experience but I chose not to believe him. Instead, I improved my driving skills for a few more weeks and I passed my driving test the second time around. I got my driving permit two weeks later. If I had believed the instructor’s words, I would never have got the courage to sit behind the driver’s seat again. I would have let someone else tell me that I could not never drive and as a consequence, lived my life according to a script that someone else had written for my life. Now that has been said, let’s bust some negative scripts. Script 1: Perfection How many times have you failed to do something just because you thought you could not do it perfectly? You wait for the best idea to execute yet, the people who are able to do great things execute ordinary things in an extraordinary way. You don’t have to read all guides about starting a business. There is nothing like a perfect guide out there. We often let lack of experience or education deter us from achieving what we want in life. By focusing on perfection, we are not able to make much progress. Script 2: There are no opportunities in my country The most exciting thing about Africa is that not everything has been done. There is a lot of capacity for new ideas but you keep putting everything you want to do off just because you think there is no capacity to do what you want to. If you don’t do something, someone else will. So, would you rather take baby steps and see yourself prosper or would you rather wallow in self-pity? You can find ways of how to connect to your dream. The internet has made almost anything achievable whether it’s learning computer programming or starting an online business. You can achieve your dreams in your country. Script 3: I don’t have the time to pursue my passions We have all used this line at some point in our lives. It’s the perfect excuse when there is something you have always wanted to do but you just have not got down to doing it. Somehow, we can’t do the things we are truly passionate about. It could be writing a book, pursing a hobby, singing in a music band, or even going for further studies in a field you care about. The way you spend your time really tells a lot about what you value in life. Now that we’ve busted these scripts, here are steps to rewriting your life script. Understand the scripts that you have put on your life Understanding the life scripts you have placed on your life is the first step to changing them for the better. Be attentive to your thoughts. Listen to how you speak to yourself and to what you say. Any thought that starts with “You can’t do that” is a red flag. Write them down and get to the root of them. Ask yourself what could have caused them and how they are impacting your life. For example, you might think that you will never reach top management level at your company because of a boss you had who broke your self-confidence through very harsh criticism. This could be impacting your relationships with leaders who are capable of limiting your upward mobility in the company. Make a conscious decision to break free from negative perceptions of yourself. This will take some time but the most important thing is to take steps every day. Create systems for the life you want Systems make your life easy and they are what every organization needs in order to be successful. So, why not implement them in your life as a way of breaking free from negative scripts? Say you want to retire by 35 but everyone else around you says you should work till you’re 60. You could create systems that help you save your money, pay your bills, budget and invest. These will make your goal much easier for you as you will concentrate on other harder aspects of reaching financial independence like earning more money. If you have heard of the Pareto law, you know that 20% of input will account for 80% of output. You can drown out the noise from negative perceptions by creating deliberate systems. Every day will be productive, taking you one step closer to achieving your goals. What scripts have you allowed others or yourself to place on your life? What internal rules have you subconsciously ingrained in your mind and embraced as your reality?
Black women and the MBA: What to consider
Despite the fact that rising tuition costs have led some to question the true value of an advanced business degree, the MBA remains a popular course of study. It’s certainly expensive. And the first few years out of school can be difficult as graduates look to balance budding careers with paying off student debt. But there’s little doubt that in most cases, the MBA can also help the same graduates to obtain better jobs with more satisfying career paths. Unfortunately, however, there are still some disadvantages for women and people of colour when it comes to MBAs. Back in 2013 Lillian Lincoln Lambert, the first woman to earn an MBA at Harvard in Massachusetts, gave a speech in which she suggested that when she was in business school (in the late-’60s) people didn’t feel that black people or women should be there. In the late-’60s, this was a simple result of racism and sexism. In today’s environment those ways of thinking are less prevalent. But there is a lingering impression among many that business school is meant for white men. And of course, this doesn’t need to be the case. And despite questions about MBA value these days as well as continued disadvantages for women and people of colour, a business degree may be more worthwhile than ever for a black woman to pursue. Women and the MBA The most obvious reason for women in particular to consider the MBA is that more companies are striving to facilitate equality in the workplace. And thus, women are, in some cases, in high demand. However, that merely covers the value of the degree. There’s also tremendous value in the education and experience of business school, arguably more for women more than for men. One article a few years ago, listed reasons for women to pursue MBAs and essentially pointed out that business school offers an invaluable preview of a world typically dominated by competitive alpha males. By growing accustomed to asserting themselves in this kind of environment, women can be better prepared for a life in business. Diversity and the MBA Just as more companies are aiming to narrow the equality gap between how women and men are represented, many are also starting to address diversity in the workplace. Places of business are increasingly encouraged to go public with reports on diversity. And so, the need to hire candidates of different races and ethnicities has intensified. However, a report from the US citing surveys conducted by Bloomberg indicated a problem. Diversity in the corporate world is rooted in the lack of black MBA candidates. Indeed, the same report said that in 2014 only 6% of full-time MBA candidates polled identified as black. That means that black students, in addition to women, are “in demand,” so to speak, where business education is concerned. However, going for an MBA isn’t all about opportunism in the workplace. It’s also about pursuing a genuine jumpstart for one’s career. A few years ago an article discussed the benefits of the MBA for nine successful black women across a range of industries. The ultimate impression was that each of them benefited greatly from higher education. The MBA may be more accessible than ever for a black woman —but more importantly, it’s also legitimately helpful. Crafting a successful application The fact that some business schools are more focused on admitting women and people of colour does not negate the fact that applicants still need to be qualified. And, just as importantly, be able to showcase that qualification. Applying for business school is a major task. There’s an art to creating a successful application that goes beyond listing strong test scores or accomplishments. For the MBA and, really, post-graduate education in general, a lot of it comes down to personal expression. One program online provides a comprehensive coaching program for MBA applicants and emphasises the importance of personal expression. That particular program helps with all aspects of applications, the testimonials. And examples regarding essay writing should help you to get a feel for how personal the process is. Applicants need to show their passion for business, indicate their career ambitions, demonstrate their strengths, and honestly express a few weaknesses. Above all else, they need to do so in a way that stands out in a heap of similar applications! It’s a tricky endeavour, and even improving conditions for minority applicants don’t change that. Is it worth it? The tuition is high, the application process is difficult. Women and people of colour pursuing MBAs are knowingly walking into environments where they’re underrepresented. Yet, things are getting better in that regard. So is it really worth it to consider an MBA in 2016? Frankly, this depends almost entirely on one’s own situation and ambitions. Finances, job prospects, and career goals all factor in, and they’re different for everybody. What is clear, however, is that being black and a woman is no reason to avoid business school.
Unleashing the phenomenal woman in YOU!
As a young girl I grew up around a family of strong, opinionated, yet very respectful women. I always saw my mother, aunts and grandmothers exhibit everything I wanted to be. They are pillars of strength in the family, they are wise and always have a comforting word. But one thing that stood out most was their resounding support for one another. This is a character trait they have passed down to all the girls in the family. It always bothered me that I could never fit in with most of the girls at school. I thought it was because I was not cool enough. I was too much of a nerd, I was too interested in sports, certainly something was wrong with me. Finding the right community That was until I started interacting with a group of “different” girls. Our conversations were never about another girl’s flaws. We were all about encouraging each other to study, helping one another with school work and constantly supporting each other. This was when I realised that what my mother always wanted for me was to be part of a group of girls who love each other and ultimately grow up to be part of a society of strong, independent women. When I started my company, Ziphora Events, I always knew it would be my platform to help women and the youth to realise and maximise their full potential. I am a strong believer in women working together to create a society of inspiring and driven individuals. For young people, I have done this by hosting a Young Leaders Dialogue in 2014 and a Game Changers Dialogue in 2016. Using Ziphora to spread my vision of community The main aim of these events was to bring ordinary young professionals in conversations with individuals who are striving in their industries. The result was idea sharing, collaborations & building a network of people who are also interested in making South Africa a better place. In July 2016, I hosted a Women in Lead High Tea in partnership with Divine Women Empowerment. The aim of the event was to bring women together in a relaxed environment, to discuss issues affecting us and contribute positively to society. Our speakers spoke about personal branding, seeking greatness, emotional de-cluttering and beauty. These are some of the things that make up a well-rounded woman. I believe that before we can even begin to influence society, we need to work on ourselves first. Soon, Ziphora Events will be launching The Phenomenal Women’s Dialogue. The theme will be “Unleashing the Phenomenal Woman in YOU.” The purpose of the Phenomenal Women’s Dialogue is to uplift and build a generation of vibrant women. These are women who know what they want in life and are able to position themselves for greatness. At each stage of life, women have a rich perspective and wealth of experience to share with one another. The Phenomenal Women’s Dialogue will give women a platform to share these experiences and perspectives. Ziphora Events is committed to the valuable leadership of women in every aspect of life. The Phenomenal Women’s Dialogue is one way in which we support that. This vision is aligned to one of the Africa 2063 Agenda aspirations, which is “an Africa whose development is people-driven, relying on the potential of African people, especially its women and youth.” What does a phenomenal woman look like to you? For me personally, a phenomenal woman is the ordinary woman we meet in our communities every day. From that working mother juggling building a career with building a loving home, to the housewife who puts her energy in taking care of her husband and kids. The local Pastor’s wife, the granny who the entire community looks to for advise, these are all phenomenal woman who play a big part in building our communities. As often as I can, I ask myself, “What am I doing to help someone realise and maximise their potential?” I am always honoured when after an event I have hosted, women come to me and tell me how attending the event turned out to be the most important thing they did on that day. It is an even greater honour when after some time, they contact me saying they are still working on themselves and have invited another lady in the journey of seeking greatness. This is indeed how we will build a society of phenomenal women and it is the legacy I want to leave behind. What will be your legacy?
It’s time to stop comparing, ladies
She has so many likes on Facebook/Instagram… We started this job together but she has left me behind… O my God, did you see her wardrobe… Everyone likes her, she is the life of the party… She had a BellaNaija wedding, how will mine be… The boss just praised her work again… The cute guy I like has eyes for only her… Just wait a second! Why don’t you stop comparing, you have no idea of the back story. Comparison may be human nature but we have to decide on whether it’s to be positive or negative. Positive comparison motivates us as well as our object of comparison to do well. Negative comparison, on the other hand, tries to hinge our happiness or progress on the object of our comparison. This is absolutely dangerous and could affect our performance in everyday life. Did you know people only show what they want you to see? No one uploads selfies that don’t flatter them. Why should you then get depressed because Bola is on vacation in Dubai? Why should you lose your appetite because Sefi got 500 likes and 30 shares on Facebook? Why should you feel like a loser because Joyce started a business and you are tied up in a job you hate? Why should you compare your behind-the-scenes with someone else’s highlights? Thomas J. DeLong, a professor at Harvard Business School, noted a disturbing trend among his students and colleagues —a “comparison obsession.” He writes, “more so than ever before…business executives, Wall Street analysts, lawyers, doctors, and other professionals are obsessed with comparing their own achievements against those of others…This is bad for individuals and bad for companies. When you define success based on external rather than internal criteria, you diminish your satisfaction and commitment.” So what can we do to stop this ugly trend? Change the object of comparison Start comparing yourself to yourself. Oh yes! Measure your today against your yesterday and your plan for your tomorrow. Did I just lose you? Hopefully not. After measuring, if you do not like what you see then you know you need to get to work. One step at a time. However, if you do like what you see, keep on your grind as you are well on your way to greatness. Understand we have different callings Your calling might be teaching and another person, acting. It is highly unfair to compare your teaching experiences and perks with that attached to acting. Doing this would only steal your joy and halt your progress. Come on, we don’t want you unnecessarily depressed. Instead, use your time to engage in rewarding activities to boost your chosen career path. Celebrate your accomplishments You are unique and have a lot to offer your environment. Focus on that and celebrate how far you’ve come. Be genuinely happy for others and appreciate your own milestones. Gratitude for where you are on your journey would take you further. Dear Motherland Moguls, instead of unhealthy competitions, let’s begin to empower one another. Starting today, redirect your thoughts and keep your eyes only on your path.
4 genius business tricks to steal from Genevieve Nnaji
It’s obvious to every Nigerian it-girl and our African sisters that ignoring Genevieve Nnaji’s pristine and effortless beauty is a bad idea. This is regardless of whether or not you watch her movies! Luckily, there’s a lot to learn from her streamlined, hyper-organized disposition. Even if we never completely get it, as we’re mere mortals. Have fancy dinners with a view Yes, you heard right. Head to some trendy island, club or restaurant for dinner. It should have an amazing view and probably stocked with successful, inspiring, rich and maybe good-looking people too. The food might be a little pricey, but it’s the connections you’re paying for. It’s called networking, girl! Somehow, these celebrities seem immune to the business problems that the rest of us mortals are afflicted with. From me to you, there’s a shameless networking routine that they follow. Don’t head on starting that business without connecting with the people who are going to be instrumental to your success. Take it all off… the make-up I mean This is debatable, but it feels even better to take the make-up all off sometimes. This is especially useful when the Nigerian heat perpetually threatens to melt it all off anyway. Genevieve gives us the no-makeup look often enough to keep us envious and wanting for more. Being a celebrity or even the owner of that unique start-up may be a good reason to have flapping eyelashes, gold-toned smoky eyes, and perfectly done nails… you know for the optics. But how about you shake things up a bit and get us all confused by actually getting down to work? Like, if you’re not doing anything lucrative besides getting your face done, what are you even doing? Be authentic. It’s all that matters. I am really eager to know the stories behind movies with impossible titles —who decided that “Blackberry Babes” was a good name for a movie? Okay, my argument is —why spend much money scouring for classics when you can watch an affordable ‘sub-standard’ movie? Here’s the thing, as an aspiring or already established business woman, you’ve got to be authentic, otherwise, you’ll ruin your own magic in no time. You’ve got no business copying every new or trending business idea. Be real, girl! Be unique! Talk less, unless of course, you’re telling us about what you do Traumatic consequences aside, being a little secretive is a necessity . Especially, if you’re involved in ventures that don’t feature story-telling as a requirement for practical reasons (like being an OAP or writer). If your business is not one of those, the least you can do is choose to give us short, simple, or playful dozes of your life every other time, just to add a little charm to your image. Minimize that icky feeling that comes with people knowing too much, too often about your business. In summary, all you need is to devote yourself to learning/mastering your craft, tirelessly networking, being authentic and a little tight-lipped when necessary. It’s pretty simple and practical.