5 Must Watch solid TED Talks on Self-Love
Self-love is an essential component to have in our lives yet, embracing and understanding what it entails can be complicated and difficult. There are numerous ways in which we can hinder ourselves from self-love. We can judge ourselves, demean ourselves or get caught in the comparisons trap. In the TED Talks below, the speakers elaborate on how to deviate from self-loathing and embrace self-love. The speakers discuss why self-love matters. They share their experiences and provide tips on what we need to do in order to look and see ourselves the way we deserve, with value, worth and with our unique beauty. [bctt tweet=”Caira Lee’s TED Talk on “I Search 4 It Blinded” calls us to make ourselves our first priority, accept, and be kind to ourselves – @isireflectdaily ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 1. Caira Lee I Search 4 It Blinded: The power of self-love and self-esteem Caira, the National Award Winning slam poet speaks about what she calls radical self-love. She discusses how we can look at ourselves with more love by embracing “our thing”/what we care about, being mindful of how we speak to others and also, ensuring to give self-love to others. Watch here: 2. Ashley Graham Plus Size: More like my Size In this TED Talk, model and body activist Ashley Graham shares her experiences in her career, starting out as a model that did not fit into the traditional ideal standards of what a model should like. Ashley believes there is no one perfect body and she affirms that beauty is beyond size. Watch here: [bctt tweet=”You are bold, you are brilliant, and you can beautiful! There is no woman like you – @ashleygraham. Watch her Ted Talk on Self Love.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 3. Adia Gooden Cultivating Unconditional Self- Worth Adia Gooden is a licensed clinical psychologist. In this TED Talk, she admits her insecurities growing up and her feelings of inadequacy. Initially, she tried to cover it up with striving for perfection, busyness and a relationship, but that didn’t solve the problem. Adia discusses how therapy and working on herself has helped her to develop a good sense of self-worth. In this Ted Talk, one of her tips for self-worth is the need to forgive yourself. It’s important to reflect, acknowledge the pain and what you learned from a situation in order to move forward. Adia speaks about letting go of how you think you should look and be. Rather, she says, you should embrace the quirks of how you are. Watch here: [bctt tweet=”Embrace the quirks of how you are – @DrAdiaShani” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 4. Cheyenne Cochrane A Celebration of Natural Hair Cheyenne Cochrane is an advocate in the movement for women to embrace their natural hair. In her TED talk, Cheyenne talks about some of the stigma preventing women from embracing their natural hair such as covering it up because of professional aspirations. She discusses why embracing natural hair is more than a hairstyle but a part of self-love, individuality, and empowerment. Watch here: 5. Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability Brene Brown is a researcher and storyteller. She studies human connection — our ability to empathize, belong and love. In this TED Talk, Brene discusses what she has come to learn about people who have a genuine sense of worthiness, love, and belonging. She shares that the sense of worthiness comes when we have the courage to be imperfect, the compassion to be kind to others, and to connect as a result of embracing vulnerability. Watch here: [bctt tweet=”You can’t selectively numb emotions because, you then numb the other things..the joy, gratitude and happiness -@BreneBrown” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Interested in contributing for She Leads Africa? Click here.
Entrepreneurs…Take care of your mental health: Here’s why
I remember the first time I met him at a friend’s house. He was incredibly smart, charismatic and passionate—all the things I believed it took to own a successful business. As the night when on, I realized my original assumption was correct. I pulled out my phone and did a quick search of the guy that had caught my interest—not in a romantic way, but in an intriguing “I’m fascinated by you” kind of way. He was the real deal. According to his digital footprint, he’d been in local and national media, he had thousands of followers on social media, and his business was a real business—systems, staff, and everything. I was impressed. Wary of coming across as odd, or romantically interested, I resolved to secretly follow his business ventures from that day on. Imagine my shock, when, only a year after our meeting, I came across a press release that he was going out of business. I read the contents of the press release, and I was dumbfounded. It went into great detail about his frustration with the lack of support, the personal financial difficulties he’d had to endure, the debt he went into for the sake to maintain his business, and the toll all of it had taken on his mental health. He was tired, and he was closing shop and taking some time for himself. At 32 years old, he was moving back in with his parents and going to figure out his next move. There, in an open letter for the world to read, he bravely committed to doing what many entrepreneurs are never taught to do—take care of self first. [bctt tweet=”Self-management is one of the most critical skills for successful entrepreneurship. It’s something that no school or book can teach you completely- @andrena_sawyer” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] The truth is, it is incumbent on you, as an entrepreneur, to get a hold of your emotions, triggers, and mental health, because, at the end, the stresses of entrepreneurship and seeming failure has led some to suicide and on the lesser end, it may lead some to avoidable (and unavoidable) depressive breakdowns. Whether it’s due to the notorious end of the year burnout, or the hustle and bustle of peak seasons. The bottom line is that you sometimes get to a point where you realize that you simply cannot continue to fake it until you make it. In those moments, it is not your business acumen, the number of followers you have, or even your five-star ratings that will save you. Salvation becomes dependent on two things: your ability to separate self from your work, and how well you’ve developed your self-management skills, which are just as instrumental to your success as any other part of your entrepreneurship journey. During the holiday season, the temptation is always to reflect on the successes and failures of our businesses, adjust and get right back to work for a successful new year. I hope that every entrepreneur adjusts that process slightly and prioritize self-management. Doing so just might save you and your business. Interested in contributing for She Leads Africa? Click here.
FACEBOOK LIVE: GIRL TALK WITH DR. FEYI AND SHE LEADS AFRICA (NOV 28)
What’s it like being a girl? There are a whole bunch of things women go through, our emotional and physical kit bags are always filled up and frankly, we all need a sister to talk to. It’s funny how we live in the century of the millennials where almost everyone is very open-minded but women are still embarrassed to talk about specific topics regarding their bodies, their sexuality and the female nature overall. Got some woman issues bottled up inside? Lighten up! We’re bringing you an opportunity to get all your questions answered. [bctt tweet=”Join our girls exclusive Facebook LIVE with Dr. Feyi on Wed, 28th Nov @ 5pm WAT. It’s a deep-dive into everything!” via=”no”] Dr. Feyishara Kuku is an OB/GYN and marriage therapist who has several years of experience in dealing with women’s health and family therapy. Join us on Wednesday, 28th November, as we host a Facebook Live Chat with Dr. Feyisara Kuku, themed Girl talk with Dr. Feyi. It’s going to be a deep dive to all the things you’re probably shy to talk about. Some of the topics we’ll cover What you need to know about Breast Cancer How to tackle Clinical & Social Depression Let’s talk about Sex and STI’s Before you say “I do”… Girl, listen Register below to access this opportunity and submit questions that you would like Dr. Feyi to answer. Facebook Live Details: Date: Wednesday, November 28th Time: GA, USA 12pm // Lagos 6pm // Johannesburg 7pm Where: facebook.com/sheleadsafrica/ [ninja_forms id=204] About Feyishara Feyishara Kuku is an OB/GYN, a marriage and family therapist and the Co-Founder of Sarthelpline. She’s also a mom and a Peace Activist. In her journey as a therapist, she has had the opportunity to work with high- achieving men, CEOs, baby boomers, college students, and affluent clients who are looking for a counseling experience that is tailored to their unique needs. She specializes in clinical issues as addictions, crisis, betrayal, trauma, faith-based issues, leadership development, stress management, maximizing productivity, divorce, finances, and career counseling.
Reflecting through the four seasons way of life
This year has been a transformational one. I know I am in a new place and have transcended to the next platform of my life. Believe me, I have grown and I know that I will never be the same again. I went into the woods and came back anew. [adsanity align=’aligncenter’ id=144658] Well, I make it look all-glorious and rosy but we all know that growth is riddled with moments of tears, frustration, and chaos. The biggest influence on my life this year was a twelve days leadership programme that I was part of in July. As part of the programme, on one of the days, we were required to take part in a personal six hours reflection session. [bctt tweet=”Recognize which season the different aspects of your life fall into, and take the necessary actions.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] I am melancholic, so I naturally reflect a lot. One hour of reflection is enough for me to figure out things and have my ducks in a row, or so I thought. I must admit that I was not at all excited about the six hours reflection session. To make matters worse, there was talk that the woods in which we would be doing our reflection had snakes. My plan was to walk the entire time so that I did not have to sit and encounter any snakes. So the said day arrived and my fellow participants and I were ushered into the woods by our facilitators. There was a whole ceremony around it. The only things that we were allowed to carry were food, water, a notebook, and a pen. We were also encouraged not to carry any watches to avoid shifting our focus to time rather than ourselves. My plan to walk for the entire six hours was quickly squashed when I walked the entire length of the woods in under twenty minutes. The rest of the woods was restricted to us. So while others were perched on trees or rocks, I decided I would sit right next to the winding path where I had a full view of my surrounding environment, where I would see all the reptiles coming my way. While psychologically preparing myself for this session, I had mentioned to one of my friends that I was not looking forward to being in the woods for six hours and much less to reflect for that long. Having done it himself on numerous occasions, he advised me to use the four seasons ways of life to reflect on my life. That is precisely what I did while I was in the woods. And before I knew it, I heard the whistle go, signifying the end of the reflection session. While reflecting, I had not for a single moment thought about what time it could be or how many hours were left before I could leave the woods. I left the woods with clarity about my life, where I was at, what I wanted to start doing, what I wanted to continue doing and what I needed to stop doing. Basically, I took stock of my life, the four seasons way. According to Socrates, an unexamined life is not worth living. The Four Seasons Way of Life helps you to do exactly this, examine your life. The four seasons; Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter when mapped to our lives, reveal so much truth. [bctt tweet=”Weeds are the things that will stop you or act as an impediment from reaching your goals. You need to identify them and pull them out.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] SPRING I love Spring. It is such a beautiful season, despite the rain, with so much color and life. Things begin to bloom and flourish. Hope abounds. Spring signifies what is new in your life or what is being birthed. It could be a new job, a new business venture, a new relationship or a renewed relationship. Things that are growing and thriving in your life. These things bring you joy and hope. They challenge, motivate, and scare you at the same time. Essentially, they give you a reason to keep going. What is blooming in your life? SUMMER As an African, I remain mesmerized by the long Summer days. I absolutely love them. There is something about sunshine and the energy that it brings. Lots happen during summer. People take breaks from work, children are on break from school, people travel to places all over the world. As we would say in my country, “It really happens in summer”. Summer is about having fun, connecting with those who matter most, traveling and seeking inspiration. Summer is the time between sowing and reaping. You sowed in the Spring of your life. You pluck out weeds and water your plants in the Summer of your life. Weeds are the things that will stop you or act as an impediment from reaching your goals. You need to identify them and pull them out. There is nothing that will grow without being watered. Whatever you have planted in the Spring of your life, needs to be watered. Be it a job, a relationship or a project. What needs to be watered in your life? FALL In Fall, you reap. The things that you started in Spring are coming to an end during. Some of those things could end successfully, while some may come to completion in a manner that was not expected. In the Fall of your life, you need to think about the things that have ended. Rejoice in those that have ended well and learn from those that did not end so well. Grow from the process. Sometimes we try to bring back to life, through watering and weeding, things that have already died. We keep trying in bad jobs, toxic relationships, and fanning the fire even when the other party has poured water in it. Do yourself a favor, if something has ended, learn from it and move on. What has come to an end in
AMBER WILLIAMS: PEOPLE DON’T BUY PRODUCTS. THEY BUY STORIES
Amber Williams is the founder of Punkyflair, a brand story shop that serves beauty, fashion, and lifestyle startups. Building iconic statement-making brands is her jam, and she is committed to helping businesses grow authentically through a story. Through Punkyflair, Amber has positioned new businesses in the marketplace, molded magnetic personalities, crafted money-making narratives, and named global product collections for leading brands like Camille Rose, Heat Free Hair, Shea Radiance, and Marjani. Amber Williams connects young brands to the customers they want to reach through a story. She believes that story is the most critical business asset for one simple reason: it can’t be duplicated. It is the key to building a brand that will withstand the test of time and last forever. In this interview, she discusses how you can best understand your audience, communicate your vision, and sell with a story. Tell us how and why you started Punkyflair My early career was spent in corporate America where I used my formal training in psychology and integrated marketing to create and launch brand strategies for companies like Armani Exchange, Volkswagen, The United States Olympic Committee, and Feeding America. I was working within a world of limitless resources and possibilities in marketing. I had the freedom to be creative, spend however much was needed, and most importantly – test the water. After several years of implementing creative brand marketing campaigns, I realized that my signature approach to every strategy I created was rooted in a story. Every idea, every narrative, and every message I built told a story. Inadvertently, I used my knack for writing and understanding of human behavior to put words together that would sell clothing, jewelry, cars, and even promote funds for world-renowned athletes. [bctt tweet=”Every idea, every narrative, and every message I built told a story – @punkyflair” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] I was a storyteller. At 29, I decided that I would package up my approach and all of my corporate learnings into a framework that would help startups launch and grow their businesses. I created Punkyflair to empower entrepreneurs with the tools, training and thinking necessary to understand their audience, communicate their vision, and sell with the story. Today, I have the good fortune of doing so for leading woman-owned brands like Camille Rose, Heat Free Hair, Marjani, BLK+GRN, and Shea Radiance. What is brand storytelling and where does it fit in marketing strategy? Simply put, brand storytelling is a method for connection. If you consider your favorite storybook or movie, there is most likely a character in it that resonates most with you. Maybe it’s because you see yourself in them. Perhaps it’s because that character represents who you want to be. All great stories make you look at yourself and consider how you connect to the tale being told. Brand storytelling is no different. A great brand story lets your customers know why you exist and how you fit into their lives. When done well, your brand provides the perfect reflection for who they already are but better. Brand storytelling is the most effective, non-salesly way to build meaningful and profitable relationships with the customers you want to reach. [bctt tweet=”A great brand story lets your customers know why you exist and how you fit into their lives.” – @punkyflair” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] How can businesses effectively explore the core elements that make up their customer profile? All businesses should view their customers as the star characters in their brand story. Everything that your brand does–from operations to product innovation and marketing–should be built around your customer. It always amazes me how many entrepreneurs are willing to skip this essential first step. A strong customer profile is made up of three key elements: perspective, preference, and personality. Understanding your customer’s perspective is all about figuring out where your customer is coming from, the unique challenges they face, and what they really want from your brand. The next step is to discover what your customer prefers by digging deep to understand purchase motivators and where your brand solution fits into their lives. Finally, you’ll want to explore your customer’s personality traits. Doing so will help you tailor your messaging in a way that gets the people you want to reach to listen and buy from you. [bctt tweet=”A strong customer profile is made up of 3 key elements: perspective, preference, and personality – @punkyflair” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] As they discover their customers, how do businesses determine the best approach in talking to their audience? Now that you know more about your customers, you’ll want to speak to them in a language that they understand. The best approach is first to visualize precisely who this person is. Bringing the person you want to reach to life humanizes your communication. It brings back the reality that you, as the brand, are talking to a real person. When working to craft your narrative, ask yourself these four questions: Why does my brand exist? What problem do we solve for our customers? What values or beliefs do we stand on as a business? How do our products/services make our customers’ lives better? The answers to these questions make up your core brand narrative, letting your customers know exactly why they should trust and buy from you. Plaster them everywhere (tactfully of course)! As businesses increasingly incorporate storytelling in marketing strategy, how can “Motherland Moguls” craft a brand story that yields customer action? The marketplace is getting extremely crowded! It’s never been harder to cut through the clutter than it is now. Customers are continuously bombarded with marketing messages and brands are spending a significant amount of money just to stay visible. In this landscape, the challenge lies in not only being seen, but in making money also. The best way that Motherland Moguls can yield a favorable action from their target customers is to keep a pulse on their customers’ wants and needs. Don’t get too caught up in the competition and what they’re doing. Always remember that people
How to Stay Sane While Being Young and Ambitious
Being a millennial can be exciting and challenging at the same time. We are driven and motivated. The prevalence of media outlets has created opportunities and avenues for us to go after our goals and passions and share our experiences with everyone. We can thus feel as though we constantly need to be on the go. We want to fulfill all our dreams and we also want to live our best lives. Going after our dreams and seeking to live a truly happy life can be an arduous task. It can leave us feeling overwhelmed, burned-out or drained. The key is constantly trying to have some form of balance. You can and should go after your ambitions yet be receptive to enjoying the moment. Here are some tips on how to go about that. [bctt tweet=”The tribe of people you surround yourself with matters because they can have a truly significant impact on your life – @isireflectdaily ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Get a Planner or NotePad There can be a million and one things that you want to do at almost any time. A great way to keep track of your goals and responsibilities is to have a planner or notepad. You can even use your phone to jot things down if you prefer. Getting a planner or notepad keeps your organized. It helps you to remember what it is you aim to do. It’s also a great way to help you be accountable because you are the individual who put down the list of goals and objectives to accomplish. Do Some Form of Physical Activity The misconception around physical activity is that it is only needed for those that want to lose weight and be fit. However, the benefits of physical activity expand further. Physical activity helps to give you focus, clarity and most importantly, it gives you energy. If you consider yourself to be a go-getter and very ambitious, you could easily get burned out from all the things you’re trying to achieve. That’s why having a form of exercise matters the most. It serves as a platform to release stress and fatigue. It boosts your mood and productivity by fueling your energy. Now you don’t have to take in an extreme sport. Research proves that simple activities such as just walking outside for thirty minutes are good exercise. You can find the best thing that works for you. Maybe you like to dance, or swim or cycle? Taking up these activities will keep you energized and of course, healthy and fit. It’s a win-win. [bctt tweet=”Making time for activities you enjoy doing serves as an outlet for you to breathe, enjoy and relax – @isireflectdaily ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Make Time for Activities You Enjoy I understand you want to be your own boss and get on the path to making that six-figure salary. It’s great to aim high but that doesn’t mean you have to neglect to have some fun in your life. Making time for activities you enjoy doing serves as an outlet for you to breathe, enjoy and relax. This will help you to prevent a burnout because if you are working yourself hard 24/7, you become drained and exhausted. You have to make time for the things you like doing. Make time for the movies. Make time to socialize. Make time for self-care activities such as a spa day or a manicure and pedicure. These activities that might seem little compared to your big goals are truly essential because it fuels you to keep moving. Have you heard the saying ‘work hard and play hard.” You’re putting in all that good work so don’t deny yourself the fun and relaxation you deserve. Have a Good Tribe Around You No one makes it all on their own. We all have some form of help and support that makes it possible for us to get to where we want to go. We have mentors who provide us with their valuable time and resources. We have our girlfriends who give us that emotional support and motivation to be our best selves. We have groups and organizations that give us the tools and community we need to better ourselves and take our hustle to great heights. You need to have a good tribe around you in order to achieve your goals and also stay sane in the process. The tribe of people you surround yourself with matters because they can have a truly significant impact on your life. If you don’t have a tribe, you have to consider ways to make this happen. Get involved in organizations and groups that cater to your interests, hobbies, and passions. What helps you to keep going after your goals while living a life that truly feels good? Interested in contributing for She Leads Africa? Click here.
Salma Abdulatif – The Hair Nurse: I kept trying till I got Salummy right
Salma Abdulatif was born in Malindi and raised in Mombasa, Kenya. She studies Marine Business Management at Moi University, and she is a Cohort – 15 graduate of the Young African Leadership Initiative, a programme initiated by former President of the United States, Barrack Obama. Apart from that, writing and poetry have been her forte all through her life. She also enjoys motivating youth and creating innovative solutions to complex problems which she does through her Community-Based Organization, Motivational Talks for Youth (MTY). Salma recently ventured into Natural Hair Oil business – Salummy and she takes us through the journey of being a hair nurse. Why did you decide to create natural hair products and how did you transform that into a business? After listening to my friends complaining about stunted hair growth, dandruff, ‘rough hair, weak hair etc…. You know all those problems girls have with their hair. The problems did not just end there, there was also the issue of hair products which promised to take care of the mentioned issues but most of them failed. Personally, I have tried all types of hair oils that I could lay my hands on and I found it difficult to get that one particular oil that I could constantly go back to and this was when I realized that I could be the solution to this problem. After a number of trials and errors, I was able to come up with a particular oil that I used for some time and there was a tremendous improvement on my hair in terms of texture, color, size, volume, and strength. I am a Muslim, so I cannot carelessly flaunt my hair all over the place. One day, as I washed my hair, my cousins noticed the change and asked for the secret behind my beautiful hair. After sharing it with it them, they also tried it and it worked! That is how Salummy hair oil was born. Friends kept on asking for the oil, and I realized I couldn’t keep giving them my oil for free, and I slowly transformed it to my side hustle. I moved from making the oil to shampoo, hair conditioner and even beard balm for the men. Where do you get the ingredients for your oils? Are they natural? I mostly use organic products ( chemical- free)which is a combination of carrier oils, herbs, and essential oils which when mixed together can be a perfect combo to more moisturized, longer, softer and thicker hair. I use black Jamaican castor oil, curry leaves and lavender essential oil as part of the products I use in my combo. I source all my raw materials locally and I get my bottles from Nairobi, in a plastic industry. Who are your clients, and where are they located? Most of my clients are natural and transitioning ladies but I also have a significant number of relaxed ladies who still find my hair oil helpful to their hair mainly in terms of reducing on hair loss. I have a big market base- I have clients from Mombasa, Kajiado, Nairobi, Kilifi, Lamu, Zanzibar, Daresalaam, Nakuru and even England. What has been the feedback since you launched Salummy Hair Products? The feedback has been overwhelming. When I first started, I did not have a good response and I had to go back to the kitchen time and again to work on my recipe and to keep trying until I had the right proportion for all hair types. There are so many entrepreneurs out there selling natural hair products, what makes your brand unique from the rest? My brand is unique because I give the clients exactly what their hair needs. You will find most brands promising so much and delivering little but I have always tried to test my products with my own family and friends before taking them out to the market so that I give the people what they really want and not what I envision for them which might sometimes come out as an illusion of expectations not met. The first time you use a natural oil, you already can feel and know if it works or not. This is the beauty of it. [bctt tweet=”If you are passionate about what you do, you can never fail – @salummy_salmun” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] What challenges do you or have you encountered? The main challenge has been to grow the business by myself. I have so many suppliers and ambassadors but I am still the entrepreneur and the head and it can sometimes come out as overwhelming especially since I have to deal with so many orders. The other challenge I face is introducing new products that my clients need like shampoos, conditioners, deep conditioners, and even soaps. I am really trying to take it easy and go as per my capacity. But I eventually know that I will have all these products out sooner or later. I am also thinking of adding partners in the company and a personal assistant to help me in distribution and marketing. What is your advice to young women entrepreneurs who keep dismissing their business ideas with doubts and fears? If you are passionate about what you do, you can never fail. Businesses do not grow in a day, it is a combination of effort, determination, consistency, and creativity. If you have all these with you, your business will speak for itself. Article by Rumona Apiyo. Interested in contributing for She Leads Africa? Click here.
Living Life with a Full-Time Job and multiple Side Gigs: 4 Commandments to adopt
6 months ago, I decided I needed to get a day job. The decision came after I had run my fashion design business and realized I needed firsthand experience running the kind of business I wanted. I got a job as a Personal Assistant in a big manufacturing company. The role is combined with several other unofficial roles. 6 months down the line, I can safely say I am not so over my head as was 2 months ago. Between this full-time job, running my fashion design business on a small scale and freelance writing, it is safe to say I had no “me” time. I had no life outside of work. I had finally done two things I dreaded: living for the weekend and working hard without being productive. Two months ago, I told myself that this had to stop. I finally came up with a routine that helped me do all I wanted realistically and still have a life. Here are my four quick tips for having a life with a full job and side gigs. [bctt tweet=”Balancing two or more responsibilities with self-care is hard but not impossible. Here are the 4 commandments to follow:” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 1. Thou shall keep a To-Do list and use it. I found out that having a to-do list keeps me organized. With so much to do at work and in my side jobs, I find myself running around a lot and doing nothing much. My daily To-do list is organized the night before. I factor prayer, working out, my main job, my writing, my sewing in the evening into the list. I make sure I leave blocks of time to accommodate the unforeseen jobs that will come up at work. This is a daily occurrence. The To-Do list increased my productivity by 50%. 2. Thou shall set realistic targets 3 months into the job I developed stress belly and added weight. My face broke out and I started to wear wigs, leaving my natural hair matted under the wigs. Forget mani-pedi. That was gone. When I took the decision to get my life together, the first thing I did was set goals. Safe to say the targets were pretty high and I gave up. I went back to the board and re-drew the plan. Work out thrice a week as opposed to every day. Drink water, get my nails done bi-monthly. Braid my hair once a month and wear wigs for the other days of the month. 2 months in, my stress belly has reduced and I still maintain my hair and nails routine. 3. Thou shall factor in “You” time I love going to the movies, green tea, and red wines. One of the first things I stopped doing was going to the movies. Weekends were tight. No more tea time and wine time. I now find time on Sundays to savor a cup of tea or a glass of wine. Most importantly I fix movie dates so I will have to make time for them. This means I must close out official work by Friday and put extra time into the writing. It is worth it. [bctt tweet=”Relate each work experience to your business. This way your work and life is balanced emotionally.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 4. Thou shall find a purpose in what you do. If your job pays a bit low like mine, you might grow resentful over time. This will definitely affect your work-life balance. For someone who wants the experience, this will make a terrible experience. One way I have managed to balance myself emotionally is to relate each work experience to my business. One thing I have learned to do is to be grateful and positive. It gives more light to the work I do. I make the choice to cut back when I can. Balancing two or more responsibilities with self-care is hard but not impossible and we are getting there. Till next time. For now, drink a glass of wine or cradle a cup of tea and take care of you! Interested in contributing for She Leads Africa? Click here.
Anita Benson: The Anti-Skin Lightening Activist
Anita Oghenekome Benson is a Medical Doctor specializing in Dermatology. She is also a Public Health Specialist with a Masters in Public Health from the University of Sheffield. Anita is a 2018 Mandela Washington Fellow and a Fellow of the Center for Global Business Studies at Howard University. She is an award-winning blogger and the founder of the Embrace Melanin Initiative, an NGO that focuses on eradicating colorism and harmful skin-lightening practices from Africa. Anita is raising a generation of young Africans who embrace their melanin and are empowered, educated and self-aware. The Embrace Melanin Initiative is quite a unique project, what led you to start it? I was starting my final year as a Dermatology resident and I had to choose a topic for my thesis. I had always considered myself an anti-skin lightening activist because I had seen too many patients pay the price for their skin lightening practices. Being a very dark skinned woman, I was constantly offered the option to lighten my skin by cosmetologists and well-meaning friends. This motivated me to do a community survey to find out why people lightened their skin. I wanted to know what products they used and if they were aware of the side effects which included obesity, hypertension, diabetes, liver and kidney disease, skin cancer, premature aging, fragile skin, stretch marks, body odor, skin infections, and discolored skin. [bctt tweet=”A young woman is content with her skin color until the first time someone points out that it is ‘too dark’, ‘dirty’, ‘less attractive than fair skin’ – Anita Benson” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] In a few months, I had interacted with more than 400 people and I realized that the magnitude of the problem and the level of ignorance surrounding the possible complications of skin lightening was way beyond the scope of my thesis. The Embrace Melanin Initiative was established to address this problem. What would you say are the major reasons African women engage in this trend? Colorism is the major reason African women engage in skin lightening practices. It is a silent problem that exists in our communities and is simply defined as the discrimination of a person because of her darker skin tone by members of her own race/tribe/community/family. A young woman is content with her skin color until the first time someone points out that it is ‘too dark’, ‘dirty’, ‘less attractive than fair skin’. Or she begins to notice the affiliation of some males and the media for lighter skinned women. [bctt tweet=”Kicking colorism out of Africa is the only way skin-lightening practices will ever be truly eradicated – Anita Benson” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] She may even face discrimination at her job or a reduction in marriage suitors. Whatever the case may be, this silent discrimination leads to poor self-esteem and an unshakeable belief that lighter skin is the answer to all of her problems regardless of the potential dangers of skin lightening practices. Men are not left out and some women even bleach their children. Pregnant women have also been reported to take certain pills to lighten their babies in the womb which can lead to all sorts of potential complications. What can we as well as the government do to reduce this problem? We can stop the discrimination. It happens in the marketplaces, in the home, in church, at social events, in the media, at work. Africa has been freed from slavery for hundreds of years yet we still mentally attribute more beauty and importance to anything or person that looks more foreign than native African. We need our women to know that they are beautiful not in spite of their dark skin but because of their dark skin. The government can provide tighter regulations on the sale of skin lightening agents in the open market and ensure that the ones that have been banned by NAFDAC are not still freely available for sale. Another very important role the government can play is to ensure that the side effects of every skin lightening agent are boldly printed on the bottle so that consumers can make an informed decision. Too many women are suffering due to their ignorance. One of my patients died of kidney disease a couple of years ago due to chronic use of mercury-containing skin lightening agents. What would you say has been your key learning points on this journey? These have been my key learning points: 1. You can’t change the practice till you change the perception about black skin. 2. Kicking colorism out of Africa is the only way skin-lightening practices will ever be truly eradicated. 3. There’s a need to change the narrative on what it means to be black which goes past our perception of our skin color to dissociating being black from words like corruption, self-hate, crime, ignorance, illiteracy, and mental slavery. 4. Do not judge a person till you have heard their story. So many women who chose to bleach did not feel like they had any other viable option at the time. [bctt tweet=”Colorism is the major reason African women engage in skin lightening practices – Anita Benson” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] What are the possible business ideas/solutions that can arise from solving this problem? African skin-friendly products. Not the ones that promise to tone the skin but those that make the dark skin shine and keep it healthy and protected from the UV rays of the sun. The cosmetic industry is a billion dollar industry however right now the focus of the majority is on skin lightening agents and solving this problem will create a vacuum for healthy skin care products suitable for the African skin. What is your advice to women seeking to advance their career while getting involved in personal passion projects? Women are amazing multitaskers and what makes us really special is that there’s no limit to the number of caps we can wear as long as we are able to manage our time effectively. The best way to juggle a career with personal projects
5 Female artists making moves in Botswana
Breaking into the creative industry is not easy but there are pioneers paving the way. These young women, taking over the music industry in Botswana are Motherland Moguls in their own right. They are taking over not just locally but internationally as well inspiring a new sound. What is inspiring by all these women, is not only their music. It’s their work in pushing the industry forward and creating opportunities for other artists through meaningful collaboration. Let’s meet all 5 of them, shall we? Thato Jessica Thato Jessica started her career singing as the only female member of X-Caliber – a Gospel Hip-Hop group which gained its popularity in the country through their unique sound and positive message. She left the group in 2015 to pursue her solo career. The Mapoka born artist who has a degree in Architecture from the University of Botswana started her solo career being featured on Chef Gustos song – Take Your Time, which revealed the singer’s talent and capacity to stand on her own. The poet and visual artist released her single – Show me, which has since been followed by her Seasons EP, and consequently amazing songs like Problem Feat. Veezo, and her latest offering Addicted. Her music genre is R&B, Hip-Hop, Motswako, and Soul. You can find her music on her Youtube channel. Samantha Mogwe Samantha Mogwe – born to a Motswana father and a Zambian mother, brings a fusion of neo-soul/RnB to her music. This artist/songwriter performs on local and international stages and well recognized for her work in Botswana. Samantha is a multifaceted individual who places great value on education and its re-inventive qualities. She acquired her degree Cum Laude in Theology which she attained at Baptist Theological College in Randburg, South Africa. Some of her early career accomplishments include being 2nd runner-up for My African Dream Junior singing category in 2003 and winner of the Gabz Karaoke Idols in 2004. She made the top 24 of African Idols as the only representative from Botswana in 2008. Samantha has performed at the monthly Exodus Live Poets events as well as their annual festivals alongside artists such as Neo Quashie, TJ Dema, Phil Rotz, KK the beatboxer from 2004-2010 and won an award for “My African Dream – Living The Dream” in 2010. Her first album Transition released in 2013 was a huge success leading to performances on various local and international stages of note. She is currently a radio host on Gabz-FM and also recently released new music titled Secrets which is receiving recognition in Botswana. The workout loving singer is a mother and wife and was born in Serowe, Botswana. Her music can be found on Amazon and on her YouTube Channel. Mpho Sebina Mpho Sebina is a self-taught and learning musician whose music can only be described as Afrofuturistic soul and R&B. Growing up in a family of music lovers her writing and singing style is inspired by the likes of Sade, Bob Marley, Brenda Fassie, Boom Shaka, Lebo Mathosa and others which you can hear as part of her influences in her music. She studied and graduated with an Honours Degree in International Business from Multimedia University in Malaysia where she performed for local spaces and poetry sessions and made her exploration into music more than just a passion. Malaysia is where the song Loves Light was written, inspired by the song Tselane by Black Jacks. She released a full length titled album Loves Light and released an EP titled Neo which means Gift this year. Mpho is the founder of Naked Soul Sessions which gives a platform to local artists including some on this list. She has performed on various stages locally and internationally and is featured on Global Citizen as artists to watch. You can listen to more of her music on Soundcloud her Youtube Channel. Amantle Brown Amantle Brown is an R&B artist who started on a local talent show called My Star and made it to the finale. Her first album titled Sa Pelo gave the artist her place in the industry with hits like Black Mampatile and Moratiwa which dominated local radio airwaves.She was nominated for several awards including the Botswana Music Union Awards Best RnB and Best New Comer in 2015. Since then she has also collaborated with other artists with amazing music. She released Follo, a romantic song featuring one of the local artists which was inspired by Afro Beats which exposed her artistic range and embrace of a more African sound. She is a songwriter, singer, and performer who is known to deliver quality all rounded performances. Her work now extends to being a judge on Melody Gospel Television on Botswana Television. She released a much-anticipated sophomore project in April with the stand out track being Bereka Mosadi which means Work, Woman – an anthem for Southern African women to pursue their dreams. You can listen to more of her music on Youtube. Louisa April Louisa April is a contemporary soul and R&B singer, songwriter and musician. Her acoustic music is mostly emotional and is also infused and highlighted with alternative folk and soul. Born to a Namibian mother and Nigerian father, Louisa spent her first seven years in Namibia before returning to be raised in Gaborone, Botswana. Louisa grew up behind a book. This led to her trying out writing in its various forms (poetry, songs) she also had a natural talent for singing. She pursued a degree in Computer Science in Russia, is a committee member of Purple Crown Society and a Global Shaper in the Gaborone Hub. She has performed at MILO Concert Hall in Russia and alongside Tafnaz the Acoustic Badboi at the Jazz Exchange in Botswana. Louisa has also performed for the Gaborone International Music Festival and Naked Soul Sessions. Her music can be found on Sound cloud and on her Youtube channel. Interested in contributing for She Leads Africa? Click here.