[bctt tweet=”I suffered greatly at the hands of a horrible boss, here’s what you can learn from my experience” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”]
Having a horrible boss that doesn’t like you or who humiliates you at the slightest opportunity can be really daunting on your self-esteem as a woman. The feel of someone indifferently showing off hatred towards you is scary. You tell yourself, “if I can just do a little more, maybe he will get to like me” or, “if I tried doing some things differently, maybe he would appreciate my work more”. Yet, when you’re coming to the office, you are terribly frightened as if it’s your first day at school.
I was one of those people that suffered greatly at the cold hands of a horrible boss. It was my first job as a Medical Laboratory Scientist in a reputable hospital in Nigeria.
I know some can relate to the euphoria of the first day of work and how mixed your feelings could be —happiness and fright. What I never thought could happen was my direct boss hating me, I mean, tangible hatred.
The first week and month passed and I felt I was in hell. Everything I did went wrong and it was obvious to the rest of the department that my boss hated me. He constantly told me I wasn’t good enough —humiliating and dragging me through the mud in front of everyone. My colleagues would say, “Maybe he wants to go out with you and doesn’t know how to say it”, but the truth is we never had a clue to the reason why.
My boss bullied me for months, it got bad to the extent I would cry my eyes out wishing I never had the job. One day, I told myself that wasn’t who I am —I’m better and stronger than this and I made a decision that changed my life and career for good; and it silenced my boss all through my stay at the workplace. I would like to share with you some of them, exploring what could cause a boss hating you in the first place.
[bctt tweet=”My boss bullied me so much, I would cry my eyes out wishing I never had the job” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”]
What could cause a boss to hate you?
Negative perceptions
Some men believe that most gorgeous looking women are flirts. That is ridiculous, right? Yet, we still have those men amongst us on this planet; in this modern age they see beautiful ladies as easy or wayward.
Most times, this type of man would want to make advances towards you because he feels you will give him free access. Then if you snub him, he becomes so angry and humiliated that he feels the need to frustrate you out of your job. If you have such a man as a boss, he will make the workplace unbearable for you.
Ethnicity
Some people just have a clear pictured hatred to individuals from different tribes or cultures. If you are so unfortunate to work with a boss who discriminates against your ethnicity, then your mental well-being is at risk.
When you work with such people, they can make you feel unworthy and useless, but hang in there sister…
Your intellectual capacity
Your level of intelligence can actually be intimidating to your boss; if you are intellectually sound then a boss with low self-esteem will feel awkward around you, this awkwardness will stimulate hatred.
This type of hatred comes from your boss not wanting you to excel over him, don’t you know? He will detest you more when you are the one receiving all the praises from your head office and not him.
How to manage a horrible boss
Having a horrible boss deprives you of the joy you are supposed to get from your job. It drains your levels of happiness, enthusiasm, and focus. Some research suggests that most employees leave their jobs not because it is stressful, but due to how horrible and terrifying their bosses are.
The decision to leave my job due to my boss is the best I have ever done in my life. Now here’s what to do if your boss is a bully and you don’t have the option of leaving.
Be proactive and hard working
Part of what really helped me in gaining my liberty from my boss is pro-activeness. I decided not to waste time on any job given to me. Before he could utter a word about my work, my response will be, “It’s done”.
This reduced his continuous negative feedback towards me, because there was just nothing left to say. I didn’t give him any chance to insult me any more. If you don’t want anybody not even your boss to mouth-rubbish you, then be proactive and be hard working at your job.
[bctt tweet=”Having a horrible boss deprives you of the joy you are supposed to get from your job” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”]
Don’t ever be bullied into silence
One of Tim Fields quotes struck me while writing this article, it says; “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”
This quote is perfect for making you realize no one can make you feel inferior, only if you allow them. Once you have done your best at your work, and your horrible boss still makes you feel like a loser; then it’s time you take your stand and say no more.
There is a way you can be firm, stick to your principles and still be very respectful. Make your boss know you are not a weakling that should be cowered into silence or bullied.
Be a team player
There is this overwhelming fulfilment that comes with doing your work well and being a team player. When you do this, you have other people’s respect and support, disregarding your boss feelings towards you. Who cares if he doesn’t like you when other people at your workplace respect you?
You just have to win your colleagues over to your side; then you won’t really be affected by your boss’ negative reaction towards you any more. Try this, it works.
Don’t be a whiner
You can complain all you want to your friends and loved ones how much you hate your job; but don’t bring the whining to your workplace. That is a no-no. The more you complain, the more frustrated you become and the more unbearable your life will be.
Always be the bigger person, even when your boss is shouting and screaming the whole ceiling down on you, don’t fret, complain or talk back, and be composed. When you stay mute with him, in most cases, your boss looks like a fool —that’s the whole idea, right?
Finally, there is this powerful quote by Chris Colfer; “When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sandpaper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless”. This quote relates to my own personal experience. My boss’ horrible attitude towards me contributed to molding me into becoming the better and more deserving woman I am today.