On loving you: 5 powerful videos on self-love to begin the year with
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the universe, deserve your love and affection.”- Buddha Loving oneself is one of the most profound and yet also most difficult things to accomplish- it takes practice, patience, unlearning old ways of being and forming a new understanding of who you are as a person. This is a journey I have personally been on for the longest time, I still find the need to remind myself to practice self-love even after reading and listening to tons of material on it. The truth is that practicing self-love is a lot like practicing good hygiene- it must become a daily ritual. For those new to this incredible journey or for those looking for a slight reminder of what it means to love oneself, here are a few TEDx talks to inspire you, to love you. Caroline McHugh: The art of being yourself The message from Caroline in this talk is simple; your individuality is your greatest gift. You weren’t put on earth to be a cheap imitation of anyone else, you were put here simply to be yourself. Caira Lee: I search for it blinded – the power of self-love and self-esteem In this TEDx talk, Caira Lee, an award-winning slam poet uses her gift teach us about the power of self-love through her own personal story. Marisa Peer: “I’m not enough” – The biggest disease affecting humanity In this talk, Marisa Peer opens our eyes to the powerful connection that exists between thoughts about ourselves, our health, wealth and quality of life. You are enough. Pretty enough, intelligent enough, talented enough, strong enough, courageous enough… You are enough. Searching for love to escape ourselves Hayley Quinn This wonderful talk by Hayley Quinn helps us realize that romantic love and the pursuit of it can be a form or escapism, simply an excuse not to deal with the real issues we have with ourselves. Niko Everett: Meet yourself: A user’s guide to building self “You need to meet yourself. If you could meet yourself, you might really like her!” Allow me to finish this article off with a radical thought from one of my favorite books, “The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz”- In this book, the author uses the analogy of a magical kitchen to illustrate the importance of self-love. He compares self-love to having a magical kitchen inside of us, if you had a magical kitchen in which you could produce all the most delicious meals you can think of, you’d never starve but most importantly, you’d never allow anyone to dictate to your being you while using food as the reward. No one would come and offer you food in exchange for control over your life, your habits, and your decisions. However, if the situation were reversed, and you had no food, you’d allow anyone and everyone to control everything about your life. This is the same with self-love; when you have a deep love and respect for yourself, you won’t let others control you, use you or even abuse you. A person might come offering love in exchange for control but you won’t let them in. “But what is going to happen if you are starving for love, if you don’t have that love in your heart, and someone comes and says, “You want a little love? You can have my love if you just do what I want you to do.” If you are starving for love, and you taste that love, you are going to do whatever you can for that love. You can even be so needy that you give your whole soul just for a little attention. Your heart is like that magical kitchen. If you open your heart, you already have all the love you need. There’s no need to go around the world begging for love: “Please, someone love me. I’m so lonely, I’m not good enough for love; I need someone to love me, to prove that I’m worthy of love.”- A mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz. Interested in contributing for She Leads Africa? Click here.
5 TEDx Talks that remind us why failure is okay
When your finances, relationship with bae, worklife and hair are on fleek, it can feel like you’re on top of the world. But the real challenge of growth comes when you get knocked down and everything seems to be going wrong. It takes courage to keep going when everything around you is saying stop. But don’t fret. The following TEDx Talks hit the nail on the head on why it’s okay to fail. Failing All the Way to Success | Jason Njoku “I was broke, I was living with my mom. But, I was still in the game” Jason Njoku dubs himself a “certified failure” after his 10 failed entrepreneurship ventures landed himself back on his mother’s couch. His TEDx talk chronicles how he eventually found a winning idea and became the CEO and founder of Iroko Partners, a leading online distribution company focused on the Nigerian entertainment industry. Trust your struggle | Zain Asher “But I think that having that competitive spirit and having the need for one upmanship and comparing yourself to other people again and again can actually bring out fears and insecurities that end up holding you back” Zain Asher was a receptionist in the US and no matter how hard she worked she wasn’t able to get a promotion. The company she was working at even began to look for external candidates for the position she was aiming for. Through that struggle, Zain realized that the learning process was worth it, and she is now a national business and personal finance correspondent at CNN International. Success is scarier than failure | Jemele Hill “If you ask me today what my fear is, it is success. It’s so much easier imagine failure, we do it all the time.” Jemele Hill first pursued writing because it was an outlet from her drug addicted parents. The negatives in her life were transformed into positives as she used that skill to become a celebrated sports columnist and television host for ESPN. Reprogramming your brain to overcome fear | Olympia LePoint “The truth is if we do not have a way to reprogram our minds to overcome fear. We will never be successful at our own specific missions in life.” Olympia LePoint failed algebra, geometry, chemistry and calculus in high school. Through her failures, Olympia learned to name and reject her fears. Olympia went from failing subjects in high school to becoming one of the top five graduates out of a 6500 graduating class with a degree in Mathematics. Olympia went on to get her Master’s degree in Applied Mathematics and is now an award winning rocket scientist who has helped launch 28 space shuttle missions to outer space. Perseverance and the power of not giving up | Christine Krzyzanowski “So many people have visions and dreams and they are put into uncomfortable situations then they quit and settle” Christine Krzyzanowsk thought she lost all glimpse of being successful when she quit her high paying job in New York City and moved to Texas. But through the lessons she learned from failed business ventures, she’s now become the co-founder and chief marketing officer for Xtreme Tilt, LLC., where she leads marketing for the gaming company worldwide. Sometimes we just see the end results of someone’s success but never get a glimpse of their journey. These TEDx Talks showcased the underlying theme of not letting failure hold you back from doing something you know within yourself that you are capable of accomplishing. Which one of these videos did you relate with the most?