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The defining decade. That is what Meg Jay calls it. The ages between twenty and thirty are crucial in a woman’s life. It gets confusing, and it never gets better. You make mistakes and realize who you do not want to be. It is also the age that you are supposed to build a career or business, grow it to success.

Don’t forget family as well. Your biological clock starts ticking, and children start getting cuter. Your social circle changes and you go from young adult to a working mother and wife. All in the same number of years it took you to properly learn and write English.

Well, there are some pointers that Meg Jay gives in her TED talk, “Why 30 is not the new 20”. The same were replicated in her book “The Defining Decade”, but I do not want to be a spoiler (unlike some GoT fans). Here, however, is a tease of what I picked up.

Always invest in who you want to be

It does not matter whether you recently graduated and are jobless, or whether you have this amazing opportunity to do what you love. Always keep growing and maturing into the general direction that you want to end up in. That means that you do not have to take that boring unpaid internship that does not really interest you.

tumblr_lm8y73v2nz1qapt3zo1_500Keep collecting your identity capital. That way, when you are asked who you are, you can state what exactly influenced you to be yourself. There’s no need being a Scandal fan if you cannot really live it. What’s the fun in that?

We’ve shared some more ideas were given in an earlier article. So, really, you have no one to blame but you.

Those that are farthest from your reach are the most helpful

Most people think we are who we spend time with. That may be true when it comes to shaping your character, but it’s not entirely true for career and business. The weakest ties can come in handy. Your cousin’s friend’s wife may just be the ideal person to get you that dream job.

200_sAnd no, it is not cheating the system if you are qualified for the job. It is called networking. And really, it’s no time to play niceties with your career.

Be ruthless in getting those connections going. Extremely nice girls never get the corner office. You have to get your hands dirty (the good kind, though).

Own your lifestyle

So many people change who they are to fit into what society expects of them. Once you know who you are, do not cram yourself into someone’s box or hide your light.

I’m sure we’ve all seen that meme of an orange piece fitting into a garlic bulb. The strongest words are expressed in the simplest of pictures. Once you get that job, express yourself. If you are a creative person, go ahead and do you, darling.

tumblr_o339cm90ok1v3lbbyo1_1280Be that leader that you are in your church. If you are a night owl, take up night shifts. Customize your life to your own needs. Truth is, if you don’t, no one will care enough to do it for you.

Never ever compare your life to anyone’s

Not only is this insulting to God, it is also a lie. Especially on social media. People will only show you an amplified version of the best in their life. You don’t get to know if  they are happy or not.

tumblr_oc505djkcg1qzg3f8o2_r1_500Just keep at your gift, work on it, keep your head down and keep going, you know, like a shark. Your actions will speak for you.

The whole point of this is, in your 20s, you get to make changes and set habits that may be hard to break. Use them well. You never know when winter would come.

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