5 Things a Motherland Mogul Leader is Not
Leadership is an art. It means taking courage to maneuver a group of people with common intentions, goals, and objectives in an organized manner. Not everyone can be a good leader! Of course, you have to bear in mind your follower’s individual strengths and weaknesses while walking on eggshells trying not to annoy this group of people – even when they throw their frustrations and aggression at you! With all these pressures, leaders quite often fall into bad habits as they struggle to achieve their goals. To avoid this, as a Motherland Mogul and leader, you are probably asking, what is a leader not? Bossy There is a wide difference between being a boss and being bossy. A bossy person is a maniac! They operate like a machine put in place to juice their subjects in order to extract what they want for the company. A great leader is none of these. They are diplomatic and understand that more is given willingly than forcibly. A good leader is compassionate. They do not exclude others from contributing their part towards the common goal. Nepotist Yes. We all have that cousin or friend that we think would be the best at this job. But what would your followers think if this was the case? Would they be committed to your family company? It is very sad that nobody nowadays values meritocracy. Leaders give more attention to those who massage their ego, than those who tell them like it is. However, true leadership requires building the right team that will challenge you and helps you grow your organization. A jolly old person The truth is, great leaders do not try to keep friendships with others by satisfying their needs at the expense of their followers and the common purpose. When you start pleasing everyone, you start compromising. This then causes your standards to get a tilt and you’re not the same leader anymore. It doesn’t hurt to make friends, but don’t let your friendships compromise your value and your objectives. A Narcissist. Have you ever heard the tale of Narcissus? According to Greek Mythology, he was cursed by a God to look at his reflection in the water and fall in love with it every day. He fell in love so much that it actually ruined him! As slay queens, we need to love ourselves. But we shouldn’t let our self-love turn into overconfidence, self-adulation, and self-centeredness at the expense of our followers and the common purpose. A prejudiced discriminator. In 1949, sociologist Merton illustrated prejudice and discrimination with four categories of people: Unprejudiced non-discriminator Unprejudiced discriminator Prejudiced non-discriminator Prejudiced discriminator The prejudiced discriminator is the worst kind of leader to experience. They are a chooser and not a trainer. This kind of leader doesn’t believe that followers of a particular sect, religion, ethnicity or region can offer the common purpose any productivity due to insufficient justification and undue prejudice. Great leaders do not just build visions, but they also build people. If one doesn’t avoid these habits of bad leaders, they end up attracting the wrong crowd, or no crowd! As Motherland Moguls, let us strive to make sure we are not bad leaders. Build your dreams on the right and with the right attitude. Let’s make Africa better with the advent of good leadership and fellowship. If you’d like to share your story with She Leads Africa, let us know more about you and your story here.
Ivy Barley: With coding, I can create a powerful software that can transform Africa and the world
Ivy Barley is a social entrepreneur and currently shaping a world where more African women will be daring enough to lead in in Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths (STEM) fields. She is the co-founder of Developers in Vogue, an organization that trains females in the latest technologies and connects them to real-time projects and jobs. In 2017, she was named as one the 50 Most Influential Young Ghanaians. Ivy is also a Global Shaper of the World Economic Forum and holds a Master’s Degree in Mathematical Statistics. Tell us about yourself Growing up, I always had a strong aptitude for Mathematics and Technology, and that has pretty much shaped my career path. I recently completed my MPhil. in Mathematical Statistics. I believe that I have the potential to make a significant impact in Africa, and this is enough motivation for my work at Developers in Vogue. Aside from being a selfie freak, I enjoy hanging out with my best friend (my phone). How did Dev in Vogue start? About a year ago, I was working at an all-girls pre-university where my role included assisting the girls with Mathematics, Statistics, and Physics. I also taught the girls programming. Before working in this school, I’d been hearing people say that women don’t like coding. However, I realized the contrary! The girls were very enthusiastic about coding, they also had so many great ideas! My stay in the school was cut short but all the while after that, what never left me were the memories of the girls! It dawned on me to start a sustainable initiative that will create the ideal environment for females to code, connect and collaborate. What has been your biggest hurdle so far? We pretty much didn’t have a lot of challenges getting our business off the ground. We’re glad we had support from interested stakeholders. A hurdle though is trying to create a community. One of our unique value propositions is that we don’t only match our ladies to jobs, but also creating a community of women who support each other. It definitely requires a lot of time and effort to create such a sisterhood. [bctt tweet=”Coding and generally technology has so much untapped potential in Africa – Ivy Barley @devinvogue” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Has there ever been a time when you thought of giving up? What kept you going? I think I have thoughts of giving up very often and I find that normal. I have however learned not to let my feelings dictate. If there is something that has to be done, I definitely need to do it and do it now! My life is governed by one mantra: Pay Now; Play Later. That is, I would rather sacrifice now so that I can have a better future. Most importantly, I start my day with the word of God and listen to a lot of inspirational podcasts especially from Joel Osteen and Terri Savelle Foy. What is your favorite thing about coding? I particularly like that with my laptop and internet, I can create powerful software that can transform Africa and the world at large. Coding teaches you critical thinking and problem-solving skills, which are very important skills for this era. I won’t deny that it doesn’t get difficult. When coding, you’d realize the power of a ‘simple’ semi-colon because omitting that can sometimes cause you hours of no sleep. Which season is the toughest for your job? How do you overcome this? For now, it has been keeping the community engaged. Though it has been fun doing this, it definitely needs more time investment. I’d like to call myself the cheerleader of the team, inspiring the ladies to dream big and work hard to make them happen. What however serves as motivation in spite of the challenges are the stories of the impact we are making in the lives of these women. What, in your opinion, is the future of coding especially for girls in Africa? Coding and generally technology has so much untapped potential in Africa. For females, the future is even brighter. Day in and day out there are so many opportunities that come up to promote women in technology. Relevant stakeholders are beginning to realize the gender gap in the tech ecosystem and are putting measures in place to bring more women into the room. What advice would you give to any girl in Africa considering coding? Keep at it, my girl! You need to work hard in order to stay relevant. You need to keep improving your skills. Though it may get difficult at some points, think about the big picture. Also, make time to network with people in the industry to learn best practices that can make you world-class. If coding is truly your passion, then you definitely need a lot of diligence and determination. In case you need some support with this, I’ll be glad to offer a helping hand! Any advice for African women entrepreneurs? I think one advice I’d always give to people is hard work. Also, have your visions and goals in writing and review them every single day. As women, there are so many activities that are likely to take our attention from growing our businesses. This is the more reason why we need to stay focused. Let’s do this for Africa! If you’d like to share your story with She Leads Africa, let us know more about you and your story here.
Evelyn Ngugi: Hard Work Only Makes Things Better
The YouTube world has grown exponentially in the past few years thanks to more and more people using it as a platform for content creation. YouTube has produced big names in the digital world such as Lily Singh, Patricia Bright, Jenna Marbles and the like. Kenyan-American YouTuber, Evelyn Ngugi is well on her way to the creme of the crop of content creators with her channel, Evelyn from the Internets which currently boasts 150k+ subscribers and even got the stamp of approval from the Queen bee herself, Beyonce. Evelyn recently took a trip back to her home country for the first time in over a decade and spent some time meeting her internet cousins (her name for her subscribers) and discovering Kenya again as an adult. SLA managed to get some time to chat with the hilarious Texas native on her growth in YouTube, her thoughts on the creative industry in Africa and what’s in store for her in the future. You started making YouTube videos way before it became the IT thing to do. What got you interested in that medium of sharing? Tinkering with different media has always been an interest of mine. As a child, I would dub my “radio show” over old cassette tapes. As a teenager, I would enlist my little brother to record “TV shows” and burn them onto blank DVDs. YouTube/the Internet was just next up, in terms of accessible technology. How has social media helped grow your brand? I’m more interested to know what people think my brand is, to begin with! Social media changed the game because it makes people and their processes accessible. For example, we used to only be able to interact with musicians or actors when their work was released or they had a press interview. With social media, those barriers are gone. It’s scary and cool but mostly cool. Social media helps grow brands by putting creators directly in touch with consumers. [bctt tweet=”Focus on making an amazing product first. Social media algorithms will have changed 10 times by the time you’re ready to advertise – Evelyn Ngugi” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] We love that you stan hard for various Black Girl Beauty Brands. What advice would you give to young women out there looking to start and/or build their own brand? Focus on making an amazing product first. These social media algorithms will have changed 10 times by the time you’re ready to advertise anyway. So many people want to be a “brand” but they don’t actually have a product yet. You recently took a break from the daily routines of life as explained in your recent video. Why did that happen? The break was the decision and goal I made for late 2017 and the rest of 2018! Something about being 27, girl… it makes you realize that you are in control of your time. Do I want to spend the tail end of my precious twenties feeling stuck, or do I want to pivot into something greater? I chose greater. What inspires you as a creative and what drives you as an entrepreneur? I’m definitely a creative, but not an entrepreneur (yet). I think that’s just a misconception of being on the Internet. I’ve been #TeamHaveA9to5 my entire adulthood (which isn’t long) and I’m only now figuring out if I want to work for myself. What inspires me as a creative are how innate and infinite my imaginations are and how hard work only makes things better. So toddlers are creative, but those toddlers eventually grow up and become Martin Scorsese or something and that’s just incredible to think about. Not even trying to be funny, but as an entrepreneur, I imagine not being homeless or hungry would be the biggest driver. You cut your own check and that sounds stressful fam! You recently visited Kenya for the first time in over a decade. What are your thoughts about the creative space in Kenya vs other African countries? Hmmm – that’s such a huge question for a first generation kid-essentially-turned tourist! From my brief time there, I noticed creative folks were frustrated. What does it mean for music to sound Kenyan? Fashion to look Kenyan? When we talk about Nigeria or South Africa or even neighboring Tanzania, some of those things are more clearly defined or accepted. I think Kenyan artists need more financial, governmental, and societal support to elevate Kenyan creative works where they belong. Who are your top 5 YouTubers? I feel like these answers change every time – thanks to YouTube algorithm! So right now, in no particular order: KickThePJ: He’s just fantastical and whimsical and embodies what I still admire about YouTube. Making stuff up. Making stuff with your hands. Combining the two. A multi-media filmmaker. Beleaf In Fatherhood: As a single, child-free person, it is difficult to find a family channel that holds my attention. This family combines my love of dope music with an attention to detail and story that is unmatched. Oh, and it’s #blacklove all the way. Patricia Bright: She is OG YouTube. She is still here. And she’s killing it. I think she’s gorgeous and hilarious and if you can make someone who wears black 90% of the time (me) still be thoroughly entertained by a 30-minute video of you trying on clothes??! SUBSCRIBE. F0XY: Jade has such a distinct comedic tone and voice and I just want her to win. Because if she wins, I feel like I can too. She’s relatable like that. Inappropriate and so, so relatable. Lavendaire: She is a sweet whisper of lavender essential oil infused vapor that calms me down and helps me be productive all at the same time. Gorgeously branded channel and impactful content. Do you plan on moving on from YouTube to mainstream television or the big screen? My plan for 2018 is to do more screenwriting and share more stories – both my own and those of my fellow earthlings. Where those stories end up for your viewing
Alice Gathekia: Young People Need to Step Up and Take Their Rightful Place
On Paper, Alice Gathekia is the perfect match for any legal department in corporations. She has worked for the Law Society of Kenya and with COMESA Court of Justice. However, despite her consistent efforts dropping her application in town, she remains unemployed. She founded Kenya Youth Professionals with fellow youths that were facing the same plight in an effort to fight for better employment for young people. Why does the youth need to step up now? “Our government had promised about 30% of employment slots to youths in their campaign manifesto. This includes formal employment or tender allocation. It is time we held them to their promises.” She says. Alice is the deputy director of Kenya Youth Professionals (KYP) and has petitioned the members of National Assembly on the issues that plague the youth in general when seeking employment. This includes a reduction in experience in the job descriptions put out to give the youth a chance. She is also keen on getting a youth-friendly Principle Secretary in the Youth Docket to deal with Youth Affairs, and reduce the amount of government certification is needed prior to an interview. When asked the major issues that have inhibited youths from getting jobs, she says without hesitation that the absence of generational change is a major cause. It has impeded the youth from accessing opportunities ideally designed for them. The advanced retirement age and the scarcity of jobs leave the incoming youth out of the employment slots given that there are genuinely no jobs to go for. The lack of mentorship has also led to the degradation of the employment scene. This scarcity accelerates corruption as well, which, to be honest, is really a buzzkill in Africa’s economy. [bctt tweet=”It is time for the youth to step up and take their rightful place ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Alice’s faith in the Kenyan youth Alice described the Kenyan youth as innovative, creative, and hard working. To her, it is really wrong that there is an unfair distribution of jobs despite the qualifications. She believes that it is time young people fight for their space in the political, economic and social world. She believes that once given the chance, the youth is equal to the task of leadership. After all, young people have more to lose in the future if they make wrong decisions. This motivates Alice to spend her time petitioning the government institutions to fight against the odds that are stacked against the Kenyan Youth. What are the challenges she encounters? Some of the challenges she and her team face includes the politicising of the agenda. Some rival groups and ill-willed people often accuse the group of having a political ‘Big brother’. This is a conditioning of the political mindset where people fail to realize that young people can fight as well as wage wars against systems set in place discriminate against the youth. This campaign aims at ensuring that the youth catch up from previous injustices visited upon them. For her, this is a lifetime mission not only in Kenya but also in Africa in general. It is time for the youth to participate in making decisions that will benefit them in their future rather than a span of short time. This does not need to be the grandest action and a simple start can go a long way. It is time for the youth to step up and take their rightful place. KYP stands by their motto: “Nothing for us without us”. A normal day for Alice Alice wakes up about 6 am, and her morning routine often involves putting herself together (which includes makeup because…why not). She travels to the city, and depending on the day, spends several hours in meetings discussing the issues that surround youth employment and how to resolve them. Alice intends to globalize this movement, which, to her and the rest of us, is a few years late. [bctt tweet=”Alice Gathekia is the modern day Khaleesi of Youth Revolution” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Got an article you’d like to share with us? Share your story with us here.
Olamide Babajide: I maintained my 9-5 job and built my dream during weekends
Thirty-five years old Olamide Babajide holds a Bachelor of Technology in Computer Engineering and has a Certificate for Building Sustainable Social Enterprise from Middlesex University. She worked in the Information Technology sector for seven years occupying various positions and her last designation was to manage West African region for a multinational IT distribution company. She has over ten international certifications in Information Technology and Audit (CCNA, CCDA, CSSE, CISA…). She founded Pearl Recycling in 2016 to solve the problem of waste and provide affordable, eclectic and sustainable furniture to Nigerians. A Tony Elumelu entrepreneur fellow, she won the WIMBIZ impact competition in 2016 and was named by the U.S. Department of State’s Bureau of Educational and Cultural Affairs as one of the 100 Tech-women Emerging Leaders which gave her opportunity to intern at Silicon Valley with Symantec. In 2017, she was selected by LEAP Africa as a social innovator and she is currently working to provide waste remodeled, eco-friendly, ergonomic classroom chairs for public schools. Olamide is on the mission to make the environment safe, reduce deforestation, encourage decent living condition and provide jobs for the unemployed. [bctt tweet=” I never had fear while starting because I have always believed in failing forward…” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] How did you transit from a high paying job to become a social entrepreneur? I didn’t take a quick dive; I maintained my 9-5 job and worked on my dream during weekends. I had time to plan, analyze and test the market before starting fully. What that did for me was to make me understand people’s point of view about my products, what they really want to be compared to what I thought they want and how to strike a balance to make demand-driven products. Immediately, I got that figured out, I decided to quit in other to actualize my dream. I never had fear while starting because I have always believed in failing forward and I told myself when I fail, I will pick up the lessons and move on. I wasn’t really afraid and I realized that the reason why most people fail is that they listen to the outside noise and against the inner voice, so immediately I was at peace with my inner voice I blocked out the outer noise of people asking if I was stupid to give up such promising job for uncertainty and I just went for my dream. Your work has been featured in international media platforms, what level of impact has this exposure brought to your organization? It has brought tremendous impact and topmost on the list is the sensitization that came along with it. It’s a different ball game when you are starting a new niche in a country that has a conservative mindset about waste. Trying to re-orientate people to see waste as something enticing is actually hard in Nigeria but the international exposure and features brought awareness and a bit of acceptance which was all we need to forge ahead. The good part is, immediately we had our first interview by Reuters, Washington Post, and Aljazeera took it up and local channels also came in and that gave us impressive local visibility. [bctt tweet=”Once you have a clear vision and mission and impressive strategy, money will find you.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] With the level of exposure you’ve encountered so far, what advice will you give to your younger self in retrospect and your future self? If I had asked my younger self the most important question of “What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?” I would have realized early what my mission is and set goals to achieve it. I would have gotten a mentor earlier than I did and put a structure to my business. So I will tell my younger self to go for her dream and not to wait thinking of how to start. I will tell her “JUST START” start with what you have now. To my future self, I will say, Do NOT make mistake in choosing your board members every time you have to make that selection. They can make or break your vision. I will also say “Integrity is Key” never ever undermine the place of integrity in your dealings with others. Also, I will say protect your name and by extension your brand. Be careful how you act so that you don’t ruin what you have used years to build. Lastly, l remind myself daily that the internet never forgets, and I should be more conscious of the kind of digital signature and impression I portray. [bctt tweet=”I learned about structure and that is one thing I say every time to every young entrepreneur…” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] What business lessons have you learned in the course of running your social enterprise? The first thing I learned is when you put in your all in whatever you do, the world will support you. I also learned that money is the last thing you look for when starting a business. Once you have a clear vision and mission and impressive strategy, money will find you. I have learned very early that the successful club is highly inclusive. Most times, the rich don’t want you to sit at the table you have to learn to take the damn table. You must be tenacious and persistence and you must NEVER lose focus. And remember, strangers will help you succeed faster than families so when you are starting your business, be smart enough to consider your target market. [bctt tweet=”Be smart. Know your target market.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Do you find any connection between what you did as a corporate executive and what you are doing now? Absolutely, I realized that no knowledge is lost. You know, I worked as a network infrastructure engineer for a while and moved to business design/development and finally moved to Presales. I was opportune to work on proposal writing for top organizations, submit bids and quotations, present designs and even go for negotiations and this has helped greatly in starting up my business. The design knowledge, the business development
4 simple steps for developing a marketing strategy for your Small Business
It’s common to see many small business owners unintentionally ignore marketing, as in this digital age, a lot of SME’s interchange ‘marketing’ with ‘social media’ and ‘advertising’. This article aims to get small business owners to think about marketing holistically and systematically. Marketing is definitely not a few social media posts with a few Instagram ads here and there. You need to put in WORK! Running a small business without a strategy in place leads to confusing your customers with mixed messages, and worst of all, confusing yourself with a lack of direction. We’ve put together for you, some simple steps to developing a marketing strategy as a small business owner. Step 1: Take a step back Look at your entire business as it relates to your marketing strategy, plans, and campaigns as well as your competitors, your customers and your industry as a whole. Take the time to write (or type) things down, getting your thoughts out of your head allows you to see the bigger picture. Step 2: Plan ahead Lucky for you, here is a FREE template you can use ( because who doesn’t like freebies?) to develop your marketing strategy, which you can download and work through. Make sure you are as thorough as you can so you don’t get overwhelmed later on when it is time to execute your plans. When you answer these questions, it is time to think about how they will affect your marketing communication. Step 3: Communicate appropriately Your communication depends on your strategy (which you should have created using the template above). For example, if you provide a home service or you offer delivery services, your communication should play upon the element of convenience. If you do not have a permanent location and offer a nomadic experience, then your communication should play up the element of mystery. If your target customer does not have a car and uses public transportation, your location is key as it needs somewhere that is close to where your customer works/lives or you can consider a delivery service and cut down on your overheads. Your product, customer base, and price point will determine your tone of voice in your communication for example, if you are selling luxury high-end handbags to women over 40 years old, it is not advisable to use slang such as ‘slay’, ‘beat’ or extensively refer to popular culture as your customers are unlikely to relate. If you are selling a luxury product/service, your communication should be minimal, professional, impersonal and aesthetically pleasing. Make sure you are not partnering with brands that might dilute the luxury i.e. lower end brands or brands that cater to a completely different market in the same industry. If you are selling a product/service that is complementary to another e.g. if you are a makeup artist, your service complements or relies on makeup products and tools. Therefore, your communication can involve displaying makeup products or you can possibly collaborate with brands that offer the complementary product/service. Step 4: Stick to your plans Defining your USP (Unique Selling Point) and communicating effectively will allow you to play up your strengths and allow you to stay consistent and relevant in your consumers’ minds. You will be able to let your customers know exactly what problem your product/service solves and what gap it fills. Without actually writing down these points, you may be communicating something that you think is a strength but is actually your weakness in comparison to your competitors. Once your marketing strategy is in place, it becomes easier to develop your marketing plan for different instances, e.g. your launch, new product releases, and your seasonal campaigns. Go forth and strategize!
Rinae Sikhwari: I want to be a change driver
Meet Rinae Sikhwari, a 26-year-old young woman from Tshikwarani Village in South Africa. She currently resides in Polokwane finishing off her BCom Economics and Business Management from UNISA whilst working at New Leaders Foundation. She is a fan of reading African literature books, watching series, traveling and discovering new places. Her favorite pastimes include going to food markets, organizing activities for the children in her home church, as well as watching TED Talks and writing. Rinae describes herself as a change driver and a learner at heart. She is an advocate for providing quality education, especially for children in disadvantaged communities. Education has always been one of Rinae`s biggest passions and she strives to gain a stronger understanding of the complexities, challenges, and milestones of the South African Education System. Part of this is to not only be a solutions bringer but also a change agent to see the education system transformed to cater to the needs of all the children across the country. The South African Education Government spends 6.4% of its GDP on education, however, performance levels are lower than many other countries in the region. Not all children have access to the same quality of education, a legacy left behind by the apartheid government. Rinae is a consultant at New Leaders Foundation, a non- profit organization that is committed to transforming South African Education. The Organisation founded the Data Driven Districts Dashboard Programme, an approachable, highly intuitive dashboard that displays appropriate education-related information to education officials at all levels in the South African Schooling system. She emphasizes the importance of data – “Having accurate data ensures that informed decisions are being made, data determines all the decisions and interventions that need to be undertaken.” Her work involves a lot of interaction with stakeholders from the department of education in driving data-driven conversations and decisions. Engagement with these stakeholders is based on data attained from schools through the South African School Management System. “I’ve learned to understand how essential it is to have people skills and managing working relations with officials of different levels and rankings”. Her work ranges from assisting Department of Education officials from district directors to curriculum advisors and school principals attain data that will assist them to make informed decisions.Her work also takes her into the field where she can see firsthand how the policies of the Department of Education affect local communities. “Working in the field has offered me the context to understand the data we extract from schools on a daily basis.” This has brought visibility of complexities of the department and an understanding of the massive gaps and inequalities in the education sector. Central to her beliefs is the importance of advocating for the education of young women especially those that are growing up in areas where they are faced with so many socio-economic issues, who face so many challenges and a lot of the times education becomes a pillar and an enabler for them to defy the odds against them. Her own upbringing in a rural village made her understand that it is through education that a woman becomes independent and attains opportunities. “I am still such a firm believer that not only does education enable one to critically think and analyse but also education gives one the opportunity to be inquisitive, seek to explore and know more and the more you can do better, a learned/well-read/educated woman is able to challenge the status quo, I believe being educated gives one option and looking at how marginalized women are in society particularly black women it is imperative and essential for women to be educated.” Rinae established a reading club in the township of Seshego in 2015 for children aged between 4-14 years old, currently, the club has over 50 children and has strong support from the parents. She describes the reading club as a platform for children to learn to read and write for enjoyment, it’s a space in which children learn mathematical, social and literacy skills. “I’ve just observed how children enjoy our sessions and most of them have become avid readers, I love how they speak their minds and express their opinions that is actually what’s important for me.” Rinae has always wanted to do work that has a meaning to her and her development as someone aspiring to be a change driver. What does this mean? Being a change driver means doing more to better her community whether it be through mentoring and tutoring or supporting community development initiatives started by her peers or young people from her village. It also means giving a voice and a platform to those who need the change most- raising awareness about initiatives and shinning the spotlight on the developments in the community. Know of anyone impacting your community? Share their story with us here.
How to be a BAWSE: Lily Singh’s best tips on how to conquer life
Lily Singh is best known for her Youtube channel Superwoman which has over 1 billion views and has featured guests ranging from Michelle Obama to Zendaya. Her book, How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life describes a BAWSE as a`a person who exudes confidence, reaches goals, gets hurt efficiently, and smiles genuinely because they’ve fought through it all and made it out the other side`. She emphasizes that life is not about surviving but rather taking the decisive steps to have more effective control over your life, choices, and actions. Here are some of our favorite tips from the book to get you started on your ride to be a BAWSE. Conquer your thoughts We are the products of our thoughts, what we think affects how we treat others and allow others to treat us. Conquering your thoughts put you in charge of yourself. It means being accountable for the things you say and do. So when you find yourself in a situation that challenges you or makes you feel a certain way ask yourself WHY you feel a certain way, WHAT made you perform a certain action, and HOW you could do things differently. The information you discover is powerful because it helps you to discover patterns and in turn use your mind productively and efficiently. Words lie, actions lie too, but consistency speaks the truth Now if that line doesn’t speak truth to you, I don`t know what will! Consistency is key: people determine who you are depending on what you do. If you are always late to meet that deadline or never do that task you said you would do, people will come to know you as the unreliable person. That is not the reputation you want to have. Consistency and habits breed good behavior, you begin to create patterns that show people that they can trust, rely and count on you. If you want to be taken seriously, you need to show people who you are and then keep showing them. Seek out situations that make you uncomfortable Comfort Zones: we love them, they make us feel happy and safe. When we are in a situation that we do not feel is tailored from us we tend to panic and act out. We basically do not cope because it is not the reality we know or are used to. Use an uncomfortable moment as a learning tool, what does it say about you, what are you doing to address this uncomfortable situation. What can you learn? Being uncomfortable does not mean sit back and refuse to do anything, just because its no longer the norm for you. You have to be proactive, take matters into your hands, see what difference can come out of this experience. If you want to stay in the league, keep up to date on the game Learning is a lifetime process. There is always room to further your education and skills, no matter how high up the career ladder you get. Do not become too self-assured that you do not think you have any more lessons to learn. Learning more about advances in your field can help you shape your goals, enhance your career and keep you above the rest. Do not presume you know it all or that you have become an expert whose opinion is the only one that matters. Take time to refine your skills and competencies. This does not just refer only to taking short or online courses to nurture and grow your skills, it also refers to the lessons you can learn from others around you. A brilliant quote from the book is “Being the dumbest person on your team doesn’t make you a stupid person; it means you are smart enough to select people to work with you can learn from”. This means surround yourself with people you can learn from. Asking questions when you don`t know is not a shortfall, it is dedicating yourself to learning something new. Don’t be afraid to ask for things. The worst that will happen is that you’ll be told no! Too often than not, we tell ourselves `no` before we even do what we wanted to achieve. We become the roadblocks to our own goals. But, what if you denied yourself a yes, an upgrade or a promotion? ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE. It is a famous line for a reason. If you do not ask, you will never get what you want. You do not even open yourself up to the option of getting it. Do not be afraid to put yourself out there, to request for more when you know you deserve it. Sure, we are all scared of rejection but that allows us to adjust and try again with something better that works. A Motherland Mogul knows her worth and when to ask for it to be respected. Do not talk yourself out of asking for that raise, state your case and demand your prize. You may just surprise yourself by getting exactly what you asked for. Got an article you’d like to share with us? Share your story with us here.
Vulnerability: Your key to smashing goals this year
[bctt tweet=”To be Vulnerable means to be open to all of life’s experiences ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Ours is a generation of people striving to make their lives look perfect all the time. We post pictures, we update our statuses, we buy new things with the idea that maybe if it looks perfect enough, it will start to feel perfect. We don’t know how to handle feelings of uncertainty, unworthiness, loss, heartbreak; so we post more pictures and look even more perfect…sounds familiar right? Our inability to accept the messiness of life, the ‘imperfection in ourselves’ and the fact that sometimes we’re all just little kids trying to make friends on the playground has affected our quality of life and our ability to truly engage with each other. The average 20-something- year- old knows exactly how much money they want to earn, by what age they should be married, how many kids they intend to have, where those kids will go to school…all this with a flat tummy, gorgeous skin and long natural hair! It’s a lot on any one’s plate and has made life this series of ‘check-list moments’. It’s no wonder new year’s resolutions have been given a bad rap over the years, it stopped being about ‘the magic of new beginnings, the chance to hit the refresh button and start all over again’, and instead started being about self-reprimand, self-hate, and comparison to others. In her brilliant book, “Daring Greatly”, Brene’ Brown explores how striving to achieve your goals requires an openness to being vulnerable. The ability to stand up and say, “January hit me hard, I wasn’t prepared for some of the things life threw at me, I missed the mark and now, I must start afresh”, can affect your quality of life and ability to truly engage with other people. Our generation is afraid of vulnerability, and for good reason, we’ve all been told we are too much of something to achieve something bigger than ourselves; too short, too fat, too loud, too broke, etc, and as a result, more and more people are afraid to even try, and those that do, are afraid to try at things that really matter- those big hairy audacious goals. According to Brene’, “Only when we’re brave enough to explore the darkness, will we be closer to the infinite power of our light”. To be Vulnerable means to be open to all of life’s experiences from a place of worthiness and self-love, not self-hate. [bctt tweet=”You are enough!” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Vulnerability is: Starting over after that first business failed. Speaking up about your relationships so that every abuse you experienced is never repeated. Asking for more money, time, attention…if it is what will fulfill your needs. Saying no to anyone who crosses the boundaries set in your relationship. Committing to going to the gym after having fallen off your ideal weight. Asking for help. Presenting your product to the world and getting no response. Having faith. Saying ‘yes’ to love after a major heartbreak. Admitting you do not know what to do, and then looking for the answer. Letting go of some people because your business cannot afford it. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is about acknowledging discomfort and then using it in a positive way to enhance your life experience. A few keys to enhancing your ability to manage vulnerability and therefore better able to live a wholehearted life are; 1. Be open Sometimes the goals you want to achieve won’t be achieved in the exact path you expected, but it will always be worth it. You have to keep your heart and mind open to new ideas, a new career, new employers etc when it’s required. 2. Dare to show up No matter how uncomfortable, unqualified or unprepared you might think you are, always show up. Your current life isn’t a dress rehearsal for your next life! If it’s important to you, you must show up. 3. Set and respect your boundaries Set boundaries for your time, space and relationships, and after you’ve set your boundaries, respect them. Your goals this year are yours to achieve. Vulnerability is being able to let other people know when they have crossed boundaries that you never intended to be crossed. 4. Wholehearted living According to Brene’ Brown, wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. Too many people don’t think they are worthy of love, attention, support, promotion etc. This lack of self-love manifests itself in a myriad of ways that lead to people sabotaging the great things in their lives. As you go about the business of achieving your goals this year, you must believe that you are worthy of all you are striving for. You are enough. You are enough. You are enough. For the times when being vulnerable seems like the hardest thing to do, turn to the immortal words of Theodore Roosevelt: “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood. Who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds, who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause. Who at best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…” Got an article you’d like to share with us? Share your story with us here.
The tales of a disgruntled miss Independent
My friend is going through that phase where she is panicking about whether she will ever find the man of her dreams. I keep telling her “Girl, chill out, the sea is not empty yet”. She recently went on a date with this new guy she is seeing, and now she knows what she wants in life, and I admire her so much for that. Before she even goes on a date with a guy, she has to have conversated with him for a while and after the first date, if she is not feeling it, she is not the “Let’s see where it can go” type of girl. Maybe that’s why she is not married yet. Anyway, I asked her, “How did this one go? Do you think he is the one?”, she stared into space and after a while replied, “Yea he might be, but he asked me if we should do Dutch”. I also paused and stared into space, what does that mean, I thought. “So, for the rest of the date, we ended up talking about doing Dutch and women becoming more independent.” So, “do Dutch”, basically means splitting the bill. This made me ponder about a statement I once read which said – “These days women are now becoming the men they once dreamt of marrying”. Unfortunately, I can’t help but feel like that’s somewhat true. Why is it that many women don’t rely on men as much anymore, is it because we don’t need them, is it because they are not providing what we are seeking? Is a man no longer a man if he can’t provide? Should women turn down their independence just to maintain the man’s ego? [bctt tweet=”Women are now becoming the men they once dreamt of marrying” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] That’s a flat out, big NO for me. Women have been oppressed and have had their rights suppressed for a long time. Now that we have more privileges and equal opportunities, some men and women are slightly uncomfortable with our liberation. So much so that some women feel the need to hide their ambition. There is something endearing about being humble, but there is a difference in taming yourself down because some people are uncomfortable with your star qualities. [bctt tweet=”You don’t win by playing small” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] There are men out there who feel threatened if their woman is earning more than them and they feel like they are not enough. If a man feels threatened by your independence, then those are his insecurities he needs to work on, not yours. You shouldn’t have to pretend to be less just to please him. The independence of a woman can often destroy a man’s masculinity. There is absolutely nothing wrong in building together with your man, he makes his own money and you make your own too. There is also nothing wrong with sitting back and letting your man treat you and you doing the same for him. As long as the woman is not putting down her man because she is richer or more powerful than him, a happy, balanced, healthy relationship can be boded. These are just some of the things you suss out when you begin dating someone, are they comfortable with you being the bomb ass woman that you are, can they handle you, what does their ego say about you being this boss chick? It is as simple as asking your potential suitor those direct questions. Society depicts that the man should be the main provider of a family. As women, we should allow the man to be who he is and who he is destined to be. Our life’s purpose does not take priority over his your opinions don’t matter more because you have more money or are more powerful than he is. In relationships, you often have to compromise yourself and compromising is not betrayal. When you find yourself having to kill your true, authentic, hardworking, go-getter self, its yourself you’re betraying. You don’t have to kill who you are to please your counterpart. Independent women are often deemed as high maintenance, sometimes greedy and their standards are too high. Well if you don’t set boundaries or standards you will settle for whatever is handed to you in life and you will never be fulfilled. Having said all this not all men think the same. Sometimes men want more than just an independent successful woman with her own money. Hopefully, there is more to you than just your successes. What are your family values, what are you like as a person without all your accomplishments? Are you really this well rounded independent successful woman in all areas of your life. It may not be your independence and success that’s putting men off you. It’s a matter of looking inwardly, are you really this gracious, strong Queen you say you are? [bctt tweet=”Standards only scare off people who are not willing to make an effort with you.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] We were all put on this earth for a different purpose and we each have a duty to fulfill our purposes before we die, whether we become richer or more powerful than our male counterpart and vice versa. You never need to tone down your ambition. Some men will take pride in having a woman who works for her own because even an independent successful woman still has her vulnerabilities. After all, she is human. Got an article you’d like to share with us? Share your story with us here.