African traditions: Helpful or harmful?
In 2014, Nigeria’s Supreme Court annulled the Igbo custom that bans a daughter from inheriting her father’s estate. This marked a decisive victory in women’s rights in Igbo culture. It also serves as a reminder to the rest of the country and the Motherland that African women should be treated as equals. Harmful traditions need to be done away with. President Barack Obama, on his state visit to Kenya which coincided with the ruling, also discussed the need to reconcile traditions with evolving societies. In one of his addresses to the country, Obama stated, “Treating women as second‐class citizens is a bad tradition. It holds you back…These traditions may date back centuries; they have no place in the 21st century.” It’s a complex situation Changes in a society don’t mean we need to abandon traditions all together. Each culture has its values, and some of those values should remain untouched. Forbidding daughters from inheriting their father’s’ estate was a custom that perpetuated inequality. But, traditional Igbo culture as a whole is not one that seeks to subjugate women. We have to be able to distinguish between healthy practices and unhealthy ones. Equality is actually part of Africa’s traditions Historically, Igbos are democratic people. Laws were made and disagreements were settled by popular vote. Before the colonial era, Igbo women played an active role in politics. They took part in village meetings with men. They had their own markets and business networks, their own community meetings to discuss issues affecting women. They also had the right to strike against and boycott anything that threatened women’s interests. Women’s meetings were called mikiri and it was during these meetings that women shared their experiences as businesswomen, mothers, and wives. Mikiri was not only a support system, but also a forum to maintain women’s markets and enforce market rules (which also applied to men). If a man was found guilty of breaking market rules or abusing his wife, the women would gather around his property. They would dance, sing, bang on his doors, and throw mud at his house to express their objection. They could even beat him up a little. This was Igbo women’s most effective form of protest and it was called “sitting on a man”. British rule lead to the end of female institutions like mikiri in Nigeria. Back then British culture did not recognize women in its own political institutions. So, its colonial administration failed to recognize the culture of women’s participation in politics in Igboland. They wrote it off as another “savage African practice”. Igbo traditions and values like democracy and mikiri that promote equality. These values should have stood the test of time, rather than the laws that prohibit a woman from claiming what is rightfully hers. So what can we do? There’s clearly a need to decide which customs hold us back and which ones benefit our communities as a whole. Maybe we should follow the example of the recent Nigerian supreme court ruling. We should compare our traditions to our constitutions. If a cultural practice encourages inclusivity, it should stay. If it violates the rights of a particular group, it should go. Women should be part of Africa’s growth story. Sustainable development is only possible when everyone gets a seat at the table. We should all be active participants in socio‐economic and political initiatives.
It’s time to question the strict gender roles placed on women
One of the major gender roles set apart for women is that of the nurturer. But nurturing takes time. It keeps women away from other activities. It drains us emotionally. It makes us places nurturing above other roles. It costs money. It reduces resources available to women. I was born into a family of 7 children and I have 3 children myself. While I am a huge supporter of family life, I believe nurturing is a huge factor of inequality between the genders. Women are raised to believe that nurturing is an exclusively for women. This is deduced from the inter dependency required during the first year or so of a child’s life. But nature does not make mistakes, it was not intended for intense inter dependency to go on forever. In fulfilling gender roles, some women believe that everything else takes a back seat to nurturing. In my opinion this is a box that women create to limit themselves. We have an inherent gift of multitasking and delegation. Yet, a good number of us spend an inordinate amount of time planning and thinking about our roles as mothers or wives. Consider too that other women will go against their instincts to perform these roles due to societal norms, even when they are honestly not interested in being nurturers. The reality Nurturing is an important role for both genders. The inter dependency between a mother and child should be balanced with a father’s participation. A father is just as valuable a parent as a mother and is key to the emotional growth of a child. It’s a partnership and not a sole proprietorship! So dads, bringing in the bacon is not enough. Children also need your socialization, encouragement, advise, direction and love. Having a support system is important for any woman who has a child. We need time to do other things for our own mental stability. Yet, many women pour in too much time on their children and into their children’s life. You don’t need to take your child everywhere. You don’t need to be a drone mum using espionage-like tactics to constantly keep an eye on your child. My children surprise me everyday with their innovative thinking when I give them space to explore and make their own choices. So mums, child rearing is not a 24 hour business. Balance it out, live your life. Be the lioness who hunts and leads with the lion, even though she has cubs. Technology equalises the imbalance Society can balance gender roles with technology. Women can use technology to participate more to society and not feel stifled or limited to the nurturing role. With technology, we can contribute from anywhere and work faster. Women can handle domestic roles and still have time to pursue their aspirations and dreams. For example, parents can can supervise their homes in their absence through nanny cams. Jobs that were previously time and energy consuming can be done quicker and easily with technological innovation. Women have the choice to participate be both mothers and professionals. Education, personal development and skill acquisition are available at a click of a button. E-learning platforms allow users to interact, access premier education without from the comfort of home. I personally favour listening to audiobooks so that I can multitask. Furthermore, technological advances in the prevention and treatment in medicine mean parents don’t have to fret so much over children’s health. This allow parents time to pursue other pursuits. A number of the restrictions and barriers have been lifted by technology. We need to come up with more strategies to equalize gender roles so that men and women can live fulfilling and significant live while still being nurturers. Technology provides us that opportunity, why not capitalize on it?
How to be career focused and not disappoint your mother
It started as a conversation with my friend. We were talking about topics we’d love to read about and I said I wished someone would write a manual on how to not disappoint your mom. Mothers…bless their souls, we love them but there’s something about knowing you’ve disappointed your mother that leaves an indelible mark on your consciousness. A mark you’ll continue trying to obliterate or make amends for -both exercises in futility really because how do you fix what you didn’t set out to ruin? See I’m 26 and I’m a single girl living and working in Lagos, far away from the comfort of my family. That on its own is enough to cause most parents to worry, my parents don’t live in Nigeria. Thus the responsibility of parenting me has been outsourced to a gaggle of well-intentioned, if incredibly parochial, aunts whose reports about my actions are the only things my parents have going for them right now. This unfortunately means that over the last year and a half since arriving in Nigeria, every other phone call to my mother has been an episode of ‘New Ways to Break a Mom’s Heart’. Often due to one aunt or the other complaining about something I’ve done to her. By all accounts, the aunties have valid cases against me. My job means that I work long days that often become longer nights; and on days when I simply can’t go home, I stay in hotels. When you factor in that according to Nigerian aunties, only a certain type of lady regularly patronizes hotels, you begin to understand why my innocuous actions are an affront to their quiet sensibilities. By focusing on work, I disappoint their expectations of proper Nigerian womanhood. I get it, I don’t agree with it but I get it. I used to obsess about my work-life balance and how I was not fulfilling some arbitrary Nigerian ideas I believed I had to satisfy. But now I step away from it all. It’s really just BS. I came across an article once that argued there shouldn’t be anything like work-life balance. The writer stated that this way of thinking doomed us into thinking it was a zero sum game. They instead chose to think of work and life as a delicate relationship that although might sometimes appear to be skewed, are in reality both being satisfied in different ways. This helped me understand that I do not disappoint, and neither do you. I’m still not sure how to balance my work with my life or perhaps more importantly how to ensure my mother doesn’t get disappointed with me (everyday). Yet if there’s one thing I know, it’s the inevitability of mistakes. Sometimes, your work will appear to take precedence for months on end and you won’t always do what’s right by mom. So, maybe don’t obsess over assumed failures? These days, when I get to steal time away from work to gossip with mom over phone about bosses or new opportunities, I can hear her pride. I feel how proud she is of my ability to make things work in my career despite not being the daughter she might have wanted me to be. That’s really all there is to it at the end of the day.
Why you need to set career goals each month
All successful people have career goals. We know a full time job can make it challenging to achieve said goals but this doesn’t make them any less important. As career-focused young women, the goals we set are our career objectives. They are an essential part of progressing up the career ladder. A great way to make sure you are on top of your career goals in a timely fashion is to break them down monthly. This means you’re only focusing on one goal a month. Your monthly goals can range from learning a new skill or updating your LinkedIn account to asking for a promotion or improving your relationship with co-workers. The choice is entirely yours. Not convinced? Here are four reasons you need to set monthly career goals. Flexibility Let’s be real, when you set yearly goals, you do so blindly. There’s no way of knowing how each month in the year will pan out. Monthly goals allow you to properly consider the time period in which you’re setting your goals. That way you’re flexible enough to consider any drama that may come up. It is as the year moves on that the best times to focus on certain activities are revealed to us. Imagine this, you update your resume January every year. What happens when you change employment within the year? Will you wait until the following year to update your resume again? Now if you take our advice and devote a month to brushing up your resume, you have more than enough time to create a master version saved for when you need it. Easy tracking Monthly goals are easy to measure. You know, tracking your progress towards achieving your goals is just as important as setting them. Tracking makes it easier to move on to new goals when you’ve achieved others. If you set goals yearly, you may end up forgetting some of your triumphs when it’s time to evaluate. Seeing what you’ve achieved on a month-by-month basis is also a huge boost to your sense of accomplishment. You’ll be surprised at how much you get done in a month. Better focus Taking things one month at a time allows you to focus, making goals much more achievable than otherwise. You can devote a month to forming better work habits and increasing your productivity. Very specific right? Trust us, by the time you spend thirty days focused on one thing, you would have developed habits that will have a lasting impact. You can set a month aside to learn something new. This is especially useful for those slow seasons at work where you have more free time. Time management Setting monthly goals is a great way to manage your time while also saving yourself from too much stress. If you’re following our advice (and you should), you may set one or two ultimate goals for the year then focus on one aspect of your career each month. This way, each month, you’re one step closer to achieving your ultimate boss goals. You can even go further and set weekly and daily goals. As an aspiring #MotherlandMogul do you set goals every month? Let us know what your goals are in the comments section below.
4 things you can learn about branding from Yemi Alade
Yemi Alade does not need any introduction. Raise your hand if you start singing the words to “Johnny” anytime you meet someone called John. For some of us, it is difficult to remember how Yemi Alade was before the Johnny era. The mere mention of her name conjures up a certain image. That is her brand. Since rebranding herself, Yemi Alade has reached new heights of stardom with fans across Africa and beyond. She has a lot to teach us about branding. 1. Find a style that is yours… A successful brand is a brand that is unique. When you’re building your brand, first things first is discovering what you are doing that others in your industry aren’t. What makes you special and different from everyone else? You may need to add some colour and give your brand a personality that everyone will remember. Yemi Alade’s edgy sense of fashion just stands out. She has emerged with unique and quirky styles that immediately jump at you. Yemi Alade has described herself as a fashion chameleon, her style is at once easy, simple and edgy. When it comes to fashion, no one else in the Nigerian entertainment industry is doing what Yemi Alade and so effortlessly too. 2…then stick to it Let’s talk about hair. When you think of Yemi Alade what hairstyle is she rocking? The “pineapple” hair-do has become Yemi Alade’s signature. She has worn it in different colours and added little variations to it along the way. Others might consider sticking to one hairstyle boring yet, a branding essential is consistency. You have to be consistent in what you do and/or offer. Consistency reinforces the value of your brand. Yemi Alade has been consistent with her pineapple hairstyle and it links back to her style as being part of her overall brand. 3. Show off your best work When building a successful brand ladies, you’ll have to pay attention to positioning. Once you have put a message out there you must avoid changing it easily. Otherwise you risk confusing your customers. Pay a visit to Yemi Alade’s Twitter page and right there you will see #Johnny. This is a very important branding strategy. “Johnny” is Yemi Alade’s most successful hit yet and by putting it on her page, she is ensuring that anyone who is a fan of the song will associate it with her. In this way, “Johnny” is now part of her brand, more so than other songs she has released. Using your best work is a great strategy for branding. 4. Don’t be afraid to venture into unknown territory In finding out what makes your brand unique, you may need to push yourself. Think outside the box, be innovative and bold, be daring and most importantly make sure you are standing for something you believe in. For me, one more things comes to mind when I think of Yemi Alade; multilingual. She sang a French remix of “Johnny” and brought on a popular French zouk artist for a remix of “Kissing”. Going further she released a Swahili version of “Na Gode”. Yemi Alade has taken her brand to entirely new levels by speaking to audiences in their own languages. Her brand communicates with fans across borders, something that the only most successful brands accomplish. What else do you think aspiring #MotherlandMoguls can learn from Yemi Alade? Kindly let us know in the comments section below.
I Quit! How to write a letter of resignation
Hi, I quit! I was too good for this job anyway. Kiss my a** and don’t bother contacting me. P.S. Just to let you know, I was the one who ate the jollof rice you kept in the fridge that time. Let’s be honest. How many of us have imagined sending a message like the one above before heading to your favourite suya spot for a treat yourself episode? When you’re leaving one job for (hopefully) better opportunities, you may want to use the opportunity to air grievances. This may provide temporary relief but you can’t burn bridges. Resignation letters go on file and you won’t want to come back for a reference only to be confronted with an unprofessional resignation letter. Here is a step-by-step guide to writing a letter of resignation. The opening Even before sitting down to write your letter of resignation, you will need to sit down with your boss for a one-on-one session informing them of your resignation. Now, you’re ready to write your letter. The opening of your resignation letter should be friendly but formal. It’s a fine balance to maintain but it can be done. The most important thing is to remain professional at all times. Your letter’s salutation will depend on your relationship with your boss and the level of formality in your place of work. If you’ve been calling your boss Kemi all along, there is no point in writing “Dear Ms. Ade”. Ditto if it’s the other way round. Motherland Mogul Tip: Don’t forget to add the date. It should be aligned left, above your boss’s name and work address. The body Don’t beat around the bush and don’t sugar coat anything. You should state your intention to resign clearly. This way your boss doesn’t think you’re open to being convinced to stay. It’ll be quite uncomfortable having your soon-to-be former boss throwing in a higher salary to an attempt to halt your resignation. Crystal clarity also shows that you are confident in your decision. A simple, “Please accept this notice of my resignation from my position…” will work great. Some advice stating your reasons for leaving but this is a must-do. Give as much details as you’re comfortable with. Motherland Mogul Tip: Don’t forget to state your last date of work. Give your employer as much time as stated in your contract. For most, it’s a month’s notice. The conclusion As you’re being nice and professional, you should offer with helping any transition. This will usually involve training whoever will be replacing your soon-to-be vacant position. Be careful not to promise what you can’t deliver. Round things up neatly, based on how much information you included above. You may want to add in more details about your departure if you’re really close to your boss. Sign out with “warmly” or “king regards” or even “sincerely”. Motherland Mogul Tip: Don’t forget to thank your employer for the opportunity. Finally read through your letter, over and over. You’re looking for grammatical errors and typos. There should be no trace of hostility, remember you’re not burning bridges. Have you written a letter of resignation recently? Did you make any blunders? Let us know your experience by leaving a comment below.
7 history lessons to keep the modern African woman motivated
History is such a fascinating subject. It is very enlightening to be able to study people, places and events which occurred before you because they help shape modern thought and explain the current status quo. We often hear about great heroes and heroines throughout history who have impacted on our world but African women in particular have not received as much spotlight. As Motherland Moguls, we acknowledge and pay our respects to those who have paved the way before us. You’ll notice these women had different methods of achieving their goals but for us what stands out is what we can take away from their stories. This is by no means an exhaustive list, we hope you enjoy our selection nonetheless. Let’s delve into important lessons from our African heroines who remind us that the struggle is not a new one, but indeed we can come out on top as game changers: Yaa Asantewaa Lesson #1: Bravery Yaa Asantewaa was the gatekeeper of the golden stool a symbol of Ashanti supremacy. When her father and brother were exiled by the British colonialists in the 19th century, she charged the Ashanti people to fight for their freedom. Whilst many were afraid to fight, she demonstrated immense bravery even calling on her fellow women to fight if the men would not. She was instrumental in the independence fight leading an army of 5,000 in battle against the British. Margaret Ekpo Lesson #2: Be ingenious Being a woman was not an excuse for Margaret Ekpo. In the early days of her political activism, she found herself being the only woman at a political rally she attended. Unimpressed by this, she tried to get other women to become more involved in political matters. Unfortunately, most men would not permit their wives to do so. She later invested heavily in the salt business during a period of scarcity. Having the upper hand, she refused to sell salt to women who would not join the Aba Market Women Association. As you can guess, she soon had the turnout she was looking for and was able to promote economic empowerment for women through the association. Ahebe Ugbabe Lesson #3: Your pitfalls can become your crowning glory Ahebe Ugbabe is a woman who doesn’t get as much shine as she should in African history. She is hailed as the first female KING of Igboland. Yeah, I wrote that right…king, not queen. What’s most remarkable about her story is that she was able to turn lemons hurled at her into some good ol’ lemonade. Sacrificed to be married to a village deity as penance for her father’s sins, she managed to escape to another community and later returned to be installed as a warrant chief, eventually becoming king! Queen Nzinga Lesson #4: Re-invent yourself where necessary Queen Nzinga of Angola is remembered for her brilliant political prowess. She ruled over the Mbundu people through the aid of the Portuguese colonialists. Prior to her ascension to the throne, women were not allowed to do so. She thus adopted the name Dona Ana de Sousa which had Christian and Portuguese affiliations to ring in their support. At some other point, she is reported to have taken on the title Rainha de Andogo meaning ‘Queen of Andongo’. This queen had so much kickass, we have outlined not one but two lessons from her story. Lesson #5: Elevate yourself when others try to put you down At a conference with the Portuguese authorities, an attempt to humiliate Nzinga was thwarted when she made a conscious effort not to be put down. Offered a seat on a mat as a sign of disrespect, Queen Nzinga sat on her servant’s back to negotiate the peace discussions. Funmilayo Ransome Kuti Lesson #6: Raise a new generation of thinkers A phenomenal woman, Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti was an influencer, activist for women’s rights and human rights campaigner. Founder of the Abeokuta Women’s Union, she has been immortalised in history as one of the delegates who negotiated Nigeria’s independence from Britain. She dropped her Christian name ‘Frances Abigail’ in response to the racism she personally encountered in Britain. There is no doubt that she influenced her offspring with her revolutionary ideas as several of them went on to become radical voices against different forms of injustice. Queen Amina of Zaria Lesson #7: Be badass! Queen Amina is hailed as a brilliant military strategist and warrior who performed incredible feats leading her troops into battle, conquering new territory and fortifying the kingdom of Zaria. Referred to as a legend, Queen Amina’s badassery also extended to the control of trade and the erecting of walls surrounding Zaria city. We hope you’ve been doubly inspired and motivated to perform great feats in your chosen professions and the world around you. So, adjust your crowns and let’s get to writing our own amazing stories that will remain ingrained in the sands of time!
3 things to do when your academic background and your career are worlds apart
There is an indescribable joy that is experienced by a Nigerian who has just graduated from an institution of higher education – what a delightful feeling! No more paying of exorbitant school fees. No more buying of handouts from lecturers under duress. No more dodging from sleazy lecturers. No more coping with below-par study situations. Surely, things can only get better from then onward. However, when the time comes to seek out and secure gainful employment, the graduate would soon realize that she has jumped from the fabled frying pan into the fire of reality. If one was disillusioned by the undergraduate experience, a greater disillusionment awaits such an individual when faced with the task of finding a job which matches their actual field of study. According to the National Bureau of Statistics, Nigeria’s unemployment rate rose to 7.5% from 6.4% in the first three months of 2015. There are therefore too few jobs for too many graduates, and so graduates often have to grab any job they are able to get with both hands. A lot of my contemporaries who work in the Nigerian banking sector, for instance, did not study anything remotely related to banking or finance in their various tertiary institutions. They studied courses like Microbiology and Applied Chemistry; they took banking jobs because those were the jobs available, not necessarily because they had a deep love for finance. So, what do you do if you find yourself in such a situation? Here are 3 ways to make the most out of it. Adapt your learned knowledge to your current job For instance, if you are a Political Science graduate who has, after a long job search, gotten a job in a Bank as a Marketing Executive. You should try to think about the aspects of studying Political Science which you could adapt to your current situation. These would include things like Being able to undertake thorough research (in this situation, research on your target market). Being apt at writing reports. The ability to analyze situations from different points of view. When you approach the situation in this manner, you would perform well at your job, and you may even start to see it as a long-term career, rather than a temporary situation. There is an added bonus if it turns out that your personality happens to match your job; so if it just so happens that you’re very charming and persuasive, your job as a marketer would be more tolerable for you. Sell yourself For this step to work very well for you, you must first ensure that you put in your best in any job situation in which you find yourself for the duration of time you are there. Then, if you decide that you want to move on from the job, you have to pitch yourself as an expert in your current job, who just happens to also be an expert in your academic field of study. If I was the hiring manager of an organization, I would be very intrigued by a candidate who is a trained microbiologist who currently works as a marketer at a bank. It is now up to you, as a job applicant, to really demonstrate how those experiences would make you a very desirable candidate for the advertised role. So, you must always ensure that you are excellent at your job, even if it isn’t where you thought you would end up; that excellence would most likely be your stepping stone to future success. Don’t give up It is very easy to get disillusioned when, after months or years of searching for a job, you end up with a job that is unrelated to your field of study. Some graduates end up seeing the job they have gotten as one which they are okay with doing on a long-term basis. If this is not the case for you, please do not fret or get discouraged. Keep applying for the job which you desire, while making sure that your skills in your field of study are up to date. Take online courses if possible. Read up on new trends in that area of expertise. Try to get a mentor to guide you on your journey. If it is possible, try to volunteer in some way to keep your knowledge in that area up to date. Whatever you do, try not to be sad about the situation. While you do all this, you must strive to maintain optimal professionalism at your current job. Having a job which doesn’t have anything to do with your field of study might be source of irritation, but not having a job at all is an even worse situation. Have you experienced such a situation on your quest to become a #MotherlandMogul? Kindly share your experiences in the comments section below. Don’t give up!
Dr. Zainab Shinkafi-Bagudu: Achieving health and wellness in your 20s & 30s
It wasn’t all business and career talks at She Hive Abuja 2016. Motherland Moguls were treated to a presentation by Dr. Zainab Shinkafi-Bagudu on achieving health and wellness in their twenties and thirties. She is a paediatric consultant, Founder of Medicaid Cancer Foundation and CEO of Medicaid Radio Diagnostics. Dr. Bagudu is also the First Lady of Kebbi State and a mother of two beautiful girls. She shared some insights particularly on her work with cancer. We created a list of some of our highlights from the discussion: • “It is essential to look after yourself. In my career, I have found it is easier to spot those who have versus those who haven’t.” • “Breastfeeding is one of the biggest protective factors against breast cancer. It is also best to space out your children.” Whilst, she acknowledged that sometimes breastfeeding doesn’t work out for mother and baby, it is best to try as much as possible due to its several advantages. • “We’re gradually losing our natural immunity due to poor diet compared with past generations.” She blamed our reliance on red meat and processed foods as well as a higher intake of antibiotics as principal causes of more health issues today than our grandparents experienced. • “It is the seeds that you sow early on that will carry you to term.” • “Self-examination of the breasts should be carried out regularly to detect anything usual.” In addition, she expressed that ultrasounds can help pick up abnormal cells but mammograms may be a more ideal test as a woman progresses into her mid thirties and forties. • “Early period onset and late menopause may often be indicators of abnormality and such women may have a higher risk of developing breast cancer.” • “Every sexually active woman should routinely get a pap smear done because there is a higher risk of contacting HPV which causes cervical cancer.” As an advocate against cancer, Dr. Bagudu encourages young women to invest in the HPV vaccine. Although she and other health advocates are working with the government to make the vaccine more cost-effective, she described it as a worthwhile investment. • “Early marriage is a hindrance not only to education but also a big contributor to certain health issues.” Participants went home with new knowledge and the discounted screenings offered to the She Hivers at her diagnostics services didn’t hurt one bit either. Who are we kidding? The ladies were all for it! Dr. Bagudu concluded the segment by making reference to game-changers such as Bill Gates and Olusegun Obasanjo, and charging young women to be outliers. She encouraged them to differ from the norm by having a dogged approach to life and work. Black Bill Gates, anyone? Catch her TEDx talk titled ‘Outlier, paradigm shift and cancer‘.
The one basic lesson to teach your kids about financial responsibility
Don’t you just wish you had been taught about financial responsibility when you were much younger? In our rapidly changing world, it has never become more imperative to teach our children the need for handling money well. In fact, it’s such an important skill that it will guide their decisions well into adulthood. If you’re able to do a good job with the lessons now, your children will look back and be grateful to you as a parent. And in getting this done, there’s no better time to start than now —your child is never too young to begin. It’s important for kids to get savvy about spending wisely, saving and the value of giving to others. Delayed gratification —an important lesson When I mention that there’s one basic lesson to teach your kids about financial responsibility, I mean that at the heart of every financial decision you’re getting your child ready to handle in their future is one basic fundamental lesson, which is ‘delayed gratification’. Delayed gratification is learnt from deciding to do a chore now and watching TV later. It is about eating up two candy bars now or keeping one till tomorrow. You see, for the most part, the concept of saving money and spending wisely is more about learning to wait for something versus getting it now. Financial discipline is first of all the ability to spend less than you earn (which requires proper budgeting and sticking to it) and secondly, being able to put that excess in the budget away over a period of time (savings). How do you help your child to be financially disciplined with the concept of delayed gratification? Start early Children form their habits based on what we expose them to. They are influenced by their environment and learn from the things they see on a regular basis. If you let your children understand that it may not always be the best thing to get something now, they grow with that lesson and it becomes easier as time goes on. For instance, I hear a lot of parents say they don’t like to go to the supermarket with their kids because they are afraid of the demands to buy something that’s not on the budget. If you train your kids that we do not always get what we want when we want them, they learn to respect those boundaries you’ve put in place. Teach by example Children learn by example. They’ll do whatever they see you do. There’s a need to model this concept for the children in everyday living. Use regular situations of life to let your children understand the need to wait for things. They can either decide to get something now or get it later. Showing them the benefits of waiting can aid them in their decision to wait for something they love. Let them see that waiting is better. The way you conduct yourself on decisions that have to do with spending and savings will impact on your kids. Don’t shy away from discussing money matters with them. Encourage savings Let your kids learn to save every part of any amount that comes through their hands, no matter how small. Teaching your kids to save is an integral part of helping them to understand the concept of delayed gratification. They can save towards the future or simply towards a desired gift or toy. Teaching your kids to understand delayed gratification is a gradual process and they will learn as long as you remain consistent in your teaching. Self-control is a gradual process for your kids and they will get there. Just be firm and compassionate about it. They’ll thank you later.