#YasminSays: Here’s why that interviewer never called you back
Over the last couple of months, I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to hire new talent for SLA. It’s been brutal. I often hear young people talking about how they can’t find jobs. They always blame the system. They don’t want to hire new people.” ”They didn’t like my face.” ”They don’t like people from different tribes.” After 3 months of looking at applications and interviewing a bunch of people, here’s a thought I’d like you all to consider…. Maybe you’re the problem. Maybe you went about getting a job the wrong way. Maybe you played yourself and set yourself up for failure. I know… I’m mean right? And I’m not meant to be mean because I founded SLA and we’re meant to be this cuddly organization that helps women. Hell – we probably spend our evenings braiding each other’s hair and giving group hugs as we sing kumbaya. WRONG. My job as a founder of SLA is to keep it all the way real with you and turn you into a corporate beast. Someone who’s going to go out and crush it all over Africa. So in the spirit of keeping it real with you, here’s a list of the dumbest things you can do if you’re applying for a job. Don’t ask basic questions A couple of weeks ago, I was searching for a new program manager. One of the prospective candidates sent me a question asking whether or not we charged people to be members of SLA. Needless to say, I didn’t even bother to look at her application. Why you ask? Because she asked a basic and frankly stupid question. All she needed to do to get that information was to go onto the SLA website and do her research. Yet, she decided not to and instead came off looking like the Founder, CEO and Chairman of SimpleHeauxs.com. When you choose not to take any initiative in learning about the company or gaining basic, publicly available information, you show that you actually aren’t that serious about the company and they shouldn’t take you seriously either. Don’t overhype yourself This one is so obvious that I’m actually sad that I have to write it down. One person who we interviewed called herself “an innovator from birth.” Is that so….? From birth huh? The only reaction someone will have when they see that is: The best thing you can do when applying for a job is to be honest and straightforward about your results and what you’ve actually been able to deliver. All the grammar in the world won’t help you if you can’t show that you know how to get things done. Don’t overhype your qualifications A couple of weeks back I was talking to a girl who said that she graduated from Harvard Business School. On further investigation, it comes out that she just did a course there for a couple of weeks. Her CV went straight into the dustbin because now I know she is a bona fide massage therapist – massaging the truth all day every day. If you didn’t have to take an entrance exam, then calling yourself a graduate is a stretch. Doing a summer course does not make you a graduate of that institution so chill your life. Not everyone in the world went to Harvard and THAT IS OKAY. No need to be so insecure. Don’t act entitled This one goes out to all you returnees out there. Especially the ones who went to fancy schools. Y’all think that because you went to fancy schools with big names like Stanford and Harvard that I should be falling over myself trying to hire you. False. Some of the most basic, offensive, simple-minded heauxs I know went to these Ivy League schools so relax yourself. No degree can overcome a stank, arrogant attitude and I’d rather take a chilled out, smart local grad over your annoying self any day. Chill with the fone If you spent one year in England and yet try to sound like Queen Elizabeth herself when I interview you, you will be rejected immediately. Why do we Africans feel the need to pretend to speak English with a foreign accent? It’s so weird and makes you seem really insecure. More generally, I’m not quite sure what the intended effect is. People know that you’re faking it and they’re probably judging you. In fact, sometimes the fone is be so strong that it’s actually hard to understand what you’re trying to say. I have a sort of English-American Nigerian twinged accent because I spent 14 years abroad. Does that make me better, more professional or smarter than someone with a Nigerian, Kenyan or Ghanaian accent? Absolutely not! An accent is an accent not a badge of intelligence so stop faking it. Speak as you speak and be confident with your bad self. So there it is. Five reasons why you may have gotten rejected from your last job interview. To those of you who’ve engaged in some of this behavior. Don’t worry. It is well. No one can fault you for not knowing but if you continue to make these mistakes moving forward… you have only yourself to blame. For those of you who are interested in learning more about how you can be well prepared to CRUSH the job market, check out a bunch of FREE resources we’ve created to make you the baddest B you can be. Till next time! Xoxo Yasbo
10 things nobody tells you when you’re a new manager
I thought I was ready when I took on my first ‘official’ management role as a performance manager. I had technical ability (I’d undertaken a good deal of additional, unpaid supervisory work, under the guise of ‘development opportunities’ prior to that) and I had a professional attitude so I thought I was good to go. Ha! Boy, did I get that wrong. The main difficulty was that I didn’t know the difference between leadership and management. If you’re a new manager, some of the lessons that I and countless other leaders have learnt (and I’ll be learning as long as I’m still here) will, hopefully, help you to transition into a management and leadership role in a more authentic way. Prioritise being the leader your team needs, rather than doing everything perfectly Chances are you’re a conscientious woman with high standards so you don’t need to stress about being seen to be doing a good job; that’s a given. It’s better to work out what your team needs from you than to focus on ticking every box. Spend time with your new colleagues, get to know them and find out what they need most from you, whilst you learn more about the role. If change is needed, find a way of working that works for you and your team You’ll need to develop the confidence to challenge the status quo, which takes guts, especially if you’re managing a group of people you only just met, or you’re new to the organisation. Overstand your values Yes, I said overstand. It’s one thing to be aware of your own values; it’s quite another to understand how your values serve you and influence the way in which you lead. The best leaders have a high level of self-awareness. Check out this article for more on understanding your values. If you’re not already, spend time getting get clear on your values. Start reflecting There will be days when you feel more like an infant school teacher than a manager and there’ll be days when you feel on top of the world because things are going so well. Spend time reflecting on your day or week and ask yourself what you did that was good and should be repeated and what wasn’t so good. How can you do things differently next time? Reflecting like this helps to improve your practice as a leader and is a pretty good de-stresser, too! Don’t try to switch up your persona Pretending to be someone you’re not is hard work and tiring. If you’re not a suit kinda person, don’t go for a power suit, just because you’re now in a leadership role. If you’re a soft-natured person, don’t try to come across as hard-nosed. People will see straight through you and inconsistencies in the way you treat and lead will cause others to doubt your credibility. Do you, boo. Don’t be afraid to be a bit vulnerable Exercise wisdom, of course (this ain’t therapy!) but being honest about things you’re not sure of can help your new team to connect with you as another human being and see you as more than just ‘the new boss.’ If they can see that you’re ok with your imperfections and limitations, they can relate to you and come alongside you far quicker. It’s also freeing for you to release the pressure that striving for perfection creates. Just because you’re the manager, doesn’t mean that you should, or will have, all the answers It’s not your job to know everything, it’s your job to facilitate your team in coming up with solutions and support staff so that they can do their job. You will make mistakes Get comfortable with the fact that things won’t always go to plan and that’s ok. You’ll learn for the next time. Being liked as a manager is underrated Yes, it’s true that staff need to respect you but being respected and being liked don’t have to be mutually exclusive. It’s a lot easier and more enjoyable for everyone when you’re likeable. Boy, is leadership great for your growth! Try not to compartmentalise your learning. Growth is growth so be intentional in transferring the development in your professional life to your personal development. A year from now, you’ll have grown immensely through your experiences so soak it up, my dear! What’s your experience been? What do you wish you’d been told earlier on? Let me know in the comments below.
Debunking the “Marketing is Advertising” myth
Advertising is not marketing. As a marketing professional I encounter clients who usually do not understand that although all advertising is marketing, not all marketing is advertising. Marketing is an all-encompassing practice, made up of various elements such as strategy, customer research, trend investigation, public relations, social media promotion, product design, pricing techniques, promotional campaign activities, distribution management, competitor research, innovation, concept and service design, content creation, copywriting, and so much more. All of these efforts need to be working together to build a successful product or service. Advertising on the other hand is really only one form of marketing but that which everyone actively notices. It is the promoting of brand awareness to a large target audience via mass media, such as television, print and radio. Let me try to simplify this Think of marketing as a box of crayons with different colors, while advertising is just one color in the entire box. To create a masterpiece that isn’t lackluster, you need to play around with the different colors in your box of crayon. I thought it was important to establish this because I encounter quite a lot of entrepreneurs and business owners who think that because they have a Facebook or IG page, they are ‘marketing’. While social media is a fantastic marketing tool, it is but one in the arsenal of tools that are available to you. Nonetheless, advertising works The big brands have proven this over and over again. They have also proven the fact that advertising needs the support of other marketing elements to deliver good results. So while you would be serenade by Power Oil sachet jingles on radio on your way to and from work (Advertising), you would also find that Power Oil sachet at almost every street corner (Optimized Distribution). More importantly, advertising alone would not solve all of your marketing problems. So for example, you can choose to invest your limited funds in a radio campaign or on Facebook sponsored posts but all of these efforts would yield little or no results if you do not have a product that solves a real consumer need. However, the process to dimensioning & understanding these needs is a marketing process called customer and market research (and definitely not advertising)! Another example is the lady who sells packaged food items (Say 5kg at ₦8000) and wants to increase her sales. She might not necessarily need to spend money trying to set up a billboard along the third mainland bridge. What she could do is launch smaller variations of her product (let’s say 2kg @₦4000) that students and other low income earners can afford. This would help her appeal to more people and broaden her market space. Am I making sense? The lesson today is single minded: Marketing is much bigger than advertising. And to be very honest, marketing is a tough concept to get your arms around but that is why I am here. To help you get the hang of it such that you would get actual returns on all investments (time, money and effort) made into this very vital aspect of your business.
Dr. Zainab Shinkafi-Bagudu: Achieving health and wellness in your 20s & 30s
It wasn’t all business and career talks at She Hive Abuja 2016. Motherland Moguls were treated to a presentation by Dr. Zainab Shinkafi-Bagudu on achieving health and wellness in their twenties and thirties. She is a paediatric consultant, Founder of Medicaid Cancer Foundation and CEO of Medicaid Radio Diagnostics. Dr. Bagudu is also the First Lady of Kebbi State and a mother of two beautiful girls. She shared some insights particularly on her work with cancer. We created a list of some of our highlights from the discussion: • “It is essential to look after yourself. In my career, I have found it is easier to spot those who have versus those who haven’t.” • “Breastfeeding is one of the biggest protective factors against breast cancer. It is also best to space out your children.” Whilst, she acknowledged that sometimes breastfeeding doesn’t work out for mother and baby, it is best to try as much as possible due to its several advantages. • “We’re gradually losing our natural immunity due to poor diet compared with past generations.” She blamed our reliance on red meat and processed foods as well as a higher intake of antibiotics as principal causes of more health issues today than our grandparents experienced. • “It is the seeds that you sow early on that will carry you to term.” • “Self-examination of the breasts should be carried out regularly to detect anything usual.” In addition, she expressed that ultrasounds can help pick up abnormal cells but mammograms may be a more ideal test as a woman progresses into her mid thirties and forties. • “Early period onset and late menopause may often be indicators of abnormality and such women may have a higher risk of developing breast cancer.” • “Every sexually active woman should routinely get a pap smear done because there is a higher risk of contacting HPV which causes cervical cancer.” As an advocate against cancer, Dr. Bagudu encourages young women to invest in the HPV vaccine. Although she and other health advocates are working with the government to make the vaccine more cost-effective, she described it as a worthwhile investment. • “Early marriage is a hindrance not only to education but also a big contributor to certain health issues.” Participants went home with new knowledge and the discounted screenings offered to the She Hivers at her diagnostics services didn’t hurt one bit either. Who are we kidding? The ladies were all for it! Dr. Bagudu concluded the segment by making reference to game-changers such as Bill Gates and Olusegun Obasanjo, and charging young women to be outliers. She encouraged them to differ from the norm by having a dogged approach to life and work. Black Bill Gates, anyone? Catch her TEDx talk titled ‘Outlier, paradigm shift and cancer‘.
The 4 minute guide to SME marketing
The average human’s attention span is… oh look, a notification on my cell phone! According to scientists, the age of smartphones has left humans with such a short attention span even a goldfish can hold a thought for longer. As such it is no longer surprising when people complain that a 1000 or 2000 words post/article is toooooooooo long. So I asked a couple of friends and acquaintances; “What’s the most amount of time you would be willing to spend to carefully read an article that piques your interest?” The answers varied between 2-7 minutes and at the end of the day I arrived at an average of well, 5 minutes! And this was one of the considerations that inspired “The 4 Minute Guide to SME Marketing” series. What I hope to do with this series is help start-ups and small/medium business owners navigate the rather murky waters of marketing. Because I understand the time constraints we all face as busy professionals and business owners, I plan to keep every article interesting, informative, and most importantly, concise. Pinky swear! I chose to do a series specifically on marketing because, to be honest, I absolutely love the profession and practice. I always tell people that marketing found me (a story for another day). After spending years in the advertising industry as a brand and marketing strategist and working on a number of brands across different industries, I’ve gained insights that I believe would be useful to small business owners. It can be difficult to access ready and affordable marketing consulting services so That said, I guess we can all agree that starting a business is exhilarating. Unfortunately, the “build it and they will come” theory doesn’t hold much weight anymore because while you might have a fantastic, the greatest thing since sliced-bread product, if people do not know about it, who you epp? The process of letting people know about your product or service is a deliberate one hence an entire academic and professional field called marketing. Again, unfortunately, a lot of startups and SMEs have a flawed mindset with respect to marketing (what it entails and what it can do for their businesses) and this is why most of them do not scale or eventually live up to their full potentials. I mean in today’s business field, battles are won or lost in the market arena and a good product/service alone would not sell itself. As such, marketing imperatives are no longer an option, but a MUST! You can choose to think about it this way. Your product or service started as an idea and we all know that ideas need momentum. LaunchSquad’s Jason Throckmorton said “you can have the best idea in the world but if you don’t couple that with a strategy to spread your story, your idea isn’t going to go very far.” I couldn’t agree more. Still in doubt? You can also choose to think about it this other way. As a start-up, as a new business, nobody knows you yet so you need to get people to care enough to try what you offer. And this is when marketing becomes a smart investment because it can help you legitimize your business, create excitement, engage potential clients/customers, encourage trials and repeat purchases and even inspire loyalty and advocacy. You see where I am going with this right? 😀 I’d conclude today’s post by saying SME marketing shouldn’t be a flimsy afterthought. Just as you have been very deliberate about creating a top notch product or service, you need to be equally deliberate in creating demand for that product or service. Until next week SLAyers! Cheers!
How to build an online media company on a start-up budget
Before launching Ayiba Magazine, I searched online for existing African-authored content sites targeted at young Africans and was scant to find any doing what I had in mind. I launched Ayiba with the goal of providing a platform that showcased African change makers around the world who were disrupting tired narratives through media, technology, and innovation. I didn’t just want to start a blog, instead I wanted to build a network of writers that covered content from across Africa and the Diaspora in a way that connected our generation. If we look at mass media outlets that cover Africa, we have the BBC, CNN, and Al Jazeera, amongst others, but none of them are African owned. I have always asked myself why there are no prominent African owned media outlets that cover content from across Africa. A long-standing argument in development has been that all the books written on Africa are authored by old white men. Well, we’ve entered a new Digital Age and the same thing remains true about a large percentage of the content found online. Of course that is increasingly changing, but it’s due to sites like Ayiba, channels like Arise TV, and others in the new media ecosystem. I believe Ayiba is important for the media landscape because our readers are our writers. We create content to inspire young Africans that is written by young Africans. What sets us apart is this authenticity and the fact that we constantly strive to cover content from all over Africa – not just the usual suspects of Nigeria, Kenya, Ghana, and South Africa. Over the past three years, there are five key strategies that have allowed our platform steadily scale. All of them relate to content creation because as the say “content is Queen.” Or do they say King? Anyway, from day one, we have focused on generating diverse and quality content because we know that is how we will one day grow to millions of readers. A girl’s gotta dream! Our strategies are: Building a well-managed virtual office: Since our team lives across three continents and four time zones (and is often moving between locations), we have had to create virtual processes for everything we do. We’ve refined and streamlined our digital work environment using a combination of platforms, including Slack, Google, Facebook, and Dropbox. Building a diverse team: When recruiting, we don’t limit our search. All that matters is that the talent is tapped into global media and has a voice. It’s because of the diversity in our team that we manage to cover stories from all over the world and are able to land features with so many diverse subjects. Training new talent: We can’t always expect to find the best ready-made talent. Sometimes we have to nurture the talent we seek. Our editorial team is committed to working with our contributors to produce quality content that meets the standards Ayiba has set for itself and that our readers have come to expect. Creating content partnerships: A major aspect of the Digital Age is the sharing and redistribution of information. Ayiba contributes to this by republishing and cross-publishing content, as well as cultivating distribution channels for our content. We would like to see more collaboration in the African new media ecosystem. Designing an aesthetically pleasing site: Your content can be ace, but if your site looks amateur, readers will be less likely to stick around. WordPress themes are inexpensive and can easily be customized to meet your needs. I highly recommend them. Of the points listed, talent acquisition has certainly been the most challenging hurdle. However, since we recruit talent from both the Diaspora and the continent, this increases our talent pool. In the Diaspora, we reach out to our founding team alumni networks at Mount Holyoke College and Yale University. In Africa, we use Opportunity Desk to post our internship and fellowship programs. The internship program is for all roles outside editorial and runs for three months at a time, while our editorial fellowship is for up to six months. Ayiba emphasizes training homegrown journalistic talent. Our environment is fast-paced, yet focuses on quality of content rather than quantity. Our editors work directly with our interns and fellows to improve their craft, providing a partnership from which both parties benefit. Some fellows choose to stay on after their fellowship, which has been great, but most leave to pursue other great opportunities. However, all benefit from an experience that has improved their writing ability. One tip I can give on recruiting in a start-up is to make sure that whoever you bring into your team buys your weakness and sells you their strength. This means the team needs to be balanced by whoever you decide to bring on board. Each individual should neutralize the weaknesses of the team as a whole with their strengths. That’s the best way of keeping a lean team that delivers. We recently published our first print issue, which was well-received. In fact, it was invited to exhibit at the first African Art Book Fair at the Dak’Art Biennale in Senegal. It was a challenging and time consuming process, but the whole team learned a lot. The best part is that we were able to create and distribute our print issue to five continents with less than $100 spent on the project. We did this by: Recruiting talented design students who were looking to expand their portfolios to include magazine spreads. Using a pay-per-issue print service like Blurb, so we didn’t have to order in volume or handle delivery. Using creative commons like Flickr for stunning high quality non-copyrighted images. If you are unable to recruit designers, I would advise purchasing template bundles from sites like Creative Market or Themeforest and modifying them to suit your aesthetic. Adobe InDesign is quite easy to learn and YouTube is a great resource. In under two months, my team with little experience in print publishing, pulled together a beautifully designed 60-page print issue
Dr. Ndidi Nnoli Edozien: My personal growth story
If you weren’t at the Building A Social Enterprise session presented by Dr. Ndidi Nnoli Edozien at She Hive Abuja, you missed what I would call a transformational experience. The founder of Growing Businesses Foundation opened Sunday’s session with an uncharacteristic anthem: Timi Dakolo’s ‘Great Nation’. The song resonated deeply and set the tone for a session which was powerful, inspiring and emotional all at the same time. At several points during the program, I felt chills all over as I connected deeply with the message Dr. Edozien put across. The talk was simply geared at using her personal growth story to help the participants overcome the fear of failure and step out. She started off by describing entrepreneurship as emanating from something you feel, going further to state that you cannot fail at what you love. “Social enterprises are aimed more at solving problems thus it is impossible to fail because you’re solving a problem. An important way to measure impact is by making profit. You cannot separate enterprise from the ability to make profit.” Although she loved to give money out, it took Dr. Edozien 17 years to realise she had to develop the love to yield profit. Dr. Edozien spoke to her audience about the ability to reach inside and find a feel that’s right. She explained that her life has flowed like a river due to never neglecting her gut feeling. This she likened to religion and how we follow our beliefs because it feels right inside. Follow your instincts despite what others think – Dr. Ndidi Nnoli Edozien Drawing parallels from her story She used several stories as a way to drive her points home some of them too numerous to share. Below are my three favourites: “At Queen’s College, I used to come 22nd out of 24 students in a class. I was a quiet, timid girl who wouldn’t say a word. It all changed for me when I got glasses, and literally and figuratively got to see the world around me. That school term, I skyrocketed to the 5th position. Eventually, I was selected for a competition alongside nine other QC students to attend sea school with 30 participants altogether. It was a very big deal at that time.” This particular story was an important one to hear because it helps us understand that it doesn’t really matter what state you find yourself in at the beginning. There is always the potential to turn your story around. “My family and I moved from our house in the prestigious Ikoyi to my husband’s family home in Central Lagos Island. This was very important to my husband because it was an heirloom that had been in his family for generations. On hearing this, a lot of people told me I was mad. However, it afforded me an opportunity to connect with the locals. It made sense to live there because it was the simple people I yearned to connect with and empower.” Dr. Edozien acknowledged that women have a fear of security. She expressed her belief that forums such as the SheHive help women see that they have the same fears but also have what it takes to succeed. “In 2001, a man who wanted to empower women in his village approached me for support. This man is now one of my absolute favourite persons in the world. With N1 million that he received, he went on to build a loan portfolio of N12 billion impacting 434,000 women with a 98% loan repayment rate. He sought to recognise and thank me even years later despite my refusal until I finally agreed to have someone represent me. The Kaduna stadium was filled and 90% of the crowd was womenfolk.” This particular story brought tears to my eyes. The man in the story had a simple idea which he ran with because of a passion and conviction in his heart to lift local women out of poverty. Important lessons from Dr. Ndidi Nnoli Edozien Trust what you have before you. “Perfect is the enemy of good. Think, feel and then move. If you strive for perfection, you will never get started.” – Dr. Ndidi Nnoli Edozien Find someone who inspires and believes in you. Not necessarily someone you love or vice versa, have an individual who can hear, see and feel you. Look for different mentors you feel a connection with. A mentor can be someone you never met. Once you discover that person, connect with them, read their books, follow their story etc. Be vulnerable. Cry! You’re probably thinking, what?! Yes, Dr. Edozien stressed the importance to cry because something moves you. Not alluding to self-pity, it’s okay to feel vulnerable. Her first company logo was a butterfly because it reminded her of how vulnerable the winged insect is. In Dr. Edozien’s closing remarks she boldly stated, “Do not be afraid of failure. Ask failure what is the worst thing that can happen to me? Take it into cognizance and move.” She also asked that young women remember the significance of building a team. In her own words, “you cannot grow a business without a team. It might be your idea, but it gets very lonely at the top. A team will help you drive your vision and fill gaps that may exist.”
Are family meal times important?
Food! There’s just something about it that fosters camaraderie, you know. Introduce food to any gathering or meeting and it automatically brings on a more relaxed atmosphere. We all know that food is essential, but are family meal times all-important as we make them out to be? Family meal time is a time when members of the family sit together to share a meal. It’s not when one member sits in from of the TV gulping the meal down, while another takes a tray to the front of the computer. The meal is done together in the same place and at the same time [more often than not at the table]. While I was growing up, meal times were a big deal in my family. We all sat at table for family meal times and I can say I loved it a lot. Fast forward to these days, so many families hardly get to sit together for any activity, meal times are automatically also affected. Eat together? I am way too busy to get that together! What with everyone trying to juggle between all manner of activities. Getting food down is often enough most times, don’t just bother with trying to get everyone together. Are family meal times so important? I will want to say they are. There are far greater reasons to do it than not to do it: Bonding time: With the fast paced society we find ourselves now, there has never been a better time to eat together as a family than now. We need to regularly find time to slow down as a family. What better way to do that than to spend time together. Meal times offer this opportunity, both for slowing down and for spending time together to bond as a family. If families could commit to eating together on a regular basis, that will help to create time that can be spent together as a family. Time to reinforce good table manners: Nothing beats teaching anything practically. Telling kids how to behave around the dinner table without showing or modeling it to them may not be so effective. Family meal times will serve as a time to reinforce those good manners to children. They can learn by watching older siblings or parents to know what kind of behavior is acceptable. Forming healthy eating habits: Kids would prefer junk food most times over healthy meals. When a family plans family meal times together, you are not likely to go to such lengths to provide junk food for the family. It will usually be a healthy home cooked meal. Even if it is not home-cooked, it will be healthy food that will be offered. When kids are offered this option of healthy eating often enough, this becomes a part of them and they learn to choose good meals over junk food as they grow older. Tips For making family meal times happen Be deliberate about it: Coming to the realization that family meal time is awesome is not enough. You need to particularly make it happen. There will never be a good time or a less busy time than you have right now. That is why if you are not deliberate about it, it will not happen. Find the best time: The best time does not necessarily mean the time that’s convenient for all. It simply means that time when most family members can accommodate. It could be a morning, afternoon or evening thing. You could decide on Thursday Dinner, Saturday breakfast, Sunday Brunch. It all depends on your family dynamics. Get everyone involved: If you have older children, you definitely need to let them be a part of the decision on when meal times will happen. With school demands and all, they will need time to plan and maybe reschedule a few things to make the meal time happen. Involving everyone also gives them a sense of ownership and they can feel as though it’s a common goal the family needs to stay committed to. Make it a time to look forward to: Don’t let meal times be a draaaagggg or a court session where you are drilling your kids about issues. Don’t let it be a time of tension and too many rules. Make it fun, engaging and something for them to look forward to. You could decide on something fun after the meal that will help to keep interest alive. Have a movie night for instance if it’s Friday dinner. It’s really up to you to come up with some creative ideas to make it fun. I feel the pain of the person who may need to clear the dishes or wash up after these meal times. Sometimes, that’s the reason some moms shy away from the idea of having everyone eat together. If you’re doing a proper table setting, it automatically translates to more dishes to wash. This is why you need everyone on board. Get everyone to pitch in. You can rotate duties weekly so no one feels over burdened. After all, there’s no point feeling miserable over what is supposed to give you joy. Just do what you can to make regular meal times happen. You’ll see that your family will come to appreciate the good it will bring. What about you? Do you think family meal times are that important? Do you have regular meal times in your family? I’d love to hear from you.
The one basic lesson to teach your kids about financial responsibility
Don’t you just wish you had been taught about financial responsibility when you were much younger? In our rapidly changing world, it has never become more imperative to teach our children the need for handling money well. In fact, it’s such an important skill that it will guide their decisions well into adulthood. If you’re able to do a good job with the lessons now, your children will look back and be grateful to you as a parent. And in getting this done, there’s no better time to start than now —your child is never too young to begin. It’s important for kids to get savvy about spending wisely, saving and the value of giving to others. Delayed gratification —an important lesson When I mention that there’s one basic lesson to teach your kids about financial responsibility, I mean that at the heart of every financial decision you’re getting your child ready to handle in their future is one basic fundamental lesson, which is ‘delayed gratification’. Delayed gratification is learnt from deciding to do a chore now and watching TV later. It is about eating up two candy bars now or keeping one till tomorrow. You see, for the most part, the concept of saving money and spending wisely is more about learning to wait for something versus getting it now. Financial discipline is first of all the ability to spend less than you earn (which requires proper budgeting and sticking to it) and secondly, being able to put that excess in the budget away over a period of time (savings). How do you help your child to be financially disciplined with the concept of delayed gratification? Start early Children form their habits based on what we expose them to. They are influenced by their environment and learn from the things they see on a regular basis. If you let your children understand that it may not always be the best thing to get something now, they grow with that lesson and it becomes easier as time goes on. For instance, I hear a lot of parents say they don’t like to go to the supermarket with their kids because they are afraid of the demands to buy something that’s not on the budget. If you train your kids that we do not always get what we want when we want them, they learn to respect those boundaries you’ve put in place. Teach by example Children learn by example. They’ll do whatever they see you do. There’s a need to model this concept for the children in everyday living. Use regular situations of life to let your children understand the need to wait for things. They can either decide to get something now or get it later. Showing them the benefits of waiting can aid them in their decision to wait for something they love. Let them see that waiting is better. The way you conduct yourself on decisions that have to do with spending and savings will impact on your kids. Don’t shy away from discussing money matters with them. Encourage savings Let your kids learn to save every part of any amount that comes through their hands, no matter how small. Teaching your kids to save is an integral part of helping them to understand the concept of delayed gratification. They can save towards the future or simply towards a desired gift or toy. Teaching your kids to understand delayed gratification is a gradual process and they will learn as long as you remain consistent in your teaching. Self-control is a gradual process for your kids and they will get there. Just be firm and compassionate about it. They’ll thank you later.
QUIZ: Are you a boss or a bitch at work?
Relax. We haven’t even gotten started yet and some of you probably read the title and already got excited about boycotting us. Let us land please. It’s hard enough out there in the corporate world having to balance office politics, sexism and your freaking workload not to mention those coworkers that can make life unbearable. But what if the unbearable one is actually you and you never knew it. It might be time to check yourself and figure out if that sassy attitude you’re bringing is actually helping or hurting you at work. We aren’t saying that you should change your personality just for your job, but knowledge is power and if you’re not getting the results you want in your career it could be because you’re not aware of how you’re coming off. Or you could be a solid team player and just need an extra boost of confidence to keep you focused on your goals. So which are you, the confident goal-getter ready to get her life or the insecure, envious one looking for underhanded ways to bring down her colleagues? Take our quiz and find out! [viralQuiz id=4]