Clothing etiquette 101
[bctt tweet=”Wearing something really great for the wrong occasion can totally take away your style” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Clothing etiquette is defined as ‘knowing what is appropriate to wear for particular occasions’. In other words, what you wear is defined by the entertainment. For example: Black is the standard colour to a funeral, as opposed to a bright yellow or pink. Lighter colours are worn to weddings, and seldom black (unless specified) —although it seems to be in trend at the moment. Bright colours and short items are not worn in court. No matter how great you look, when looked at in isolation, wearing something really great for the wrong occasion can totally take away your elegance and style. Fear not, with styling, you can dress certain items up or down to fit the entertainment or occasion. Let’s take jeans for example, as these are nearly worn by everyone, every day. So naturally, one often has to wear them appropriately as they transition through the day and various activities. Let’s look at a Saturday for example, where one may run most of their errands, have a coffee date and end the day with a fun and social evening. We’ll use boyfriend jeans in this scenario. Errands Comfort is key when you’re running errands, as one needs to move around easily. So something easy to wear and comfortable is required. These boyfriend jeans could be styled with a loose T-Shirt, hat or cap, some sneakers and perhaps a scarf and sunglasses for a bit of flair. Sneakers give the look a relaxed, practical and comfortable feel; they are for running around. A scarf and hat add some personality to the outfit. Here’s our look below: Coffee date Now for that coffee date later on, the same jeans could easily be taken from my morning errands to a meeting, by adding some sandals and styling the hair a bit. One could throw on a blazer/jacket to add a smart and sophisticated element to the look. Evening look With that coffee date/meeting done and dusted, this look could easily be translated into an evening look. This would be achieved with adding some glamorous heels, a smart top, some bold jewellery and a stylish hair-style. Here’ the look below; With that said, none of this is set in stone. You can easily run errands in any of the looks above, or go out in the morning look, if it were to a pub where you need not really dress up. One can style outfits as they wish, by playing around with clothes, colours, textures, statement pieces, as long as they fit the occasion and make one feel great. With that said, stay stylish and rock on!
Building a community of black women in Amsterdam
[bctt tweet=”Black women everywhere need to congregate to celebrate our dopeness and support each other” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] “Black women are made out of brown sugar, cocoa, honey and gold And the strength of ten thousand moons” #Blackgirlmagic is one of the top trending hashtags of 2016. Created by CaShawn Thompson, “Black Girl Magic” illustrates a feeling that some of us have known all along, that black women are universally awesome and it is impossible to count all the ways that we are dope, inspiring and mind-blowing. I am a firm believer in the idea that black women everywhere, at every opportunity, ought to congregate to celebrate our dopeness, to support each other in living out our fullest potentials and to find ways to be there for each other. If we don’t have our backs then who will? The Amsterdam experience When I moved to Amsterdam in 2011, beyond the beauty of the city and the openness and sense of freedom I experienced, one thing that also struck me was how “white” the city was. Now I’m not saying that it was a negative experience from the beginning, but the truth is that most times I was the only black girl in my classes at the University of Amsterdam, in a café in the city centre or at my job…and it got lonely really quickly. When I would encounter another black person, it felt like finding an oasis in the desert and I would try to make the most of the encounter, unsure of when it would happen again. During these times I often wondered where the black people in the city congregated and if there were any spaces in the city where I could just walk into and not feel out place. I eventually came to the conclusion that there weren’t and so I set out to find or co-create a space where black women in Amsterdam could feel safe and secure enough to meet and share stories from their personal and professional lives with like-minded women. [bctt tweet=”The Amsterdam Black Women’s Network was formed to provide community for black women” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] As the saying goes, “Seek and you shall find” Almost 4 years after I moved to Amsterdam, through luck and determination, one evening I found myself sitting at a table with four amazing, talented and courageous black women from America, Jamaica and Bermuda. We had all been looking for the same thing since we moved to Amsterdam and by the end of our discussion, that evening the foundations of the Amsterdam Black Women’s Network had been formed. In a year, our numbers grew from the 5 founders to a community of over 100 women in and around the greater Amsterdam Area. We recently asked some of our members to share their experiences since they joined the group and these are some of the stories we gathered. It’s been hard to feel part of a community “Co-creating Amsterdam Black Women was a way for me to connect to other like minded women from all over the world, and also help to provide a community where we can share experiences and resources. Our group is becoming about collaboration and support for all of us and I’m here for that. I love that we are now starting to connect and help each other in all our different endeavours.” “What I love most about this group is how it brings together all these dope black women who are doing great things who can serve as a source of friendship, inspiration and support for each other! So excited to see us grow together.” “I have lived here for seven years and have tried everything to meet awesome black people but it’s been hard to feel part of a community. This is something I really need in my life and it comes at a great time. Thanks again for taking initiative. Also it’s so great that the group is so inclusive. It’s important that people feel safe in such a group.” “There’s something special about being able being able to turn up in a foreign land and find a community with whom you know you’ll be understood and accepted, where you’re just allowed to be your unadulterated self.” “I like the multi-faceted events, i.e. book clubs, going to the club, brunch, shopping, visioning, etc. I also like that I get to meet black women from all parts of the diaspora: UK, Netherlands, US, France, Germany, etc.” [bctt tweet=”Our motto is simple: Connect, Belong, Soar – Bringing #blackgirlmagic to Amsterdam” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Our motto is simple: Connect, Belong, Soar We are here to create a space where black women can be amongst others who fully share and understand their experience. With the Amsterdam Black Women’s network, we envision a community that is centred on empathy and support that provides a non-judgemental space of communion for those who enter. We want to facilitate growth and support of goals while nurturing inner strength. We aim to be a space of service and advocacy. It’s not easy juggling full-time jobs, families and other commitments while trying to build a group that achieves all of the stated objectives and strives to become a staple in the black community in Amsterdam. But from the sounds of it, we are well on our way and so we will keep putting in the work because #blackgirlmagic. If you are ever in Amsterdam, please look us up on Facebook, Instagram or email us. We would love to welcome you into our little family, show you our Amsterdam and most importantly ensure that you have a place that where you can go that feels like home.
Congratulations!! Here is your degree and 15 extra pounds
[bctt tweet=”We were warned about the Freshman 15. It was the Senior 15 that no one told us about.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Am I the only one who wants a special refund from my alma mater for the additional pounds it added to my body? I can’t be the only one…please tell me you guys understand the struggle! That special struggle where you wish you could rewind time and not eat a whole tub of ice cream at 3am to compensate for failing that exam. Or the countless celebratory late-night dinners with friends for making it through the semester. Or if you were like me, you treated yourself for even the slightest victories! (I woke up for my 8am class today and actually went to class! I deserve a cupcake #TreatYoself) In the defence of all our alma maters, we were heavily warned about the Freshman 15. It was the Senior 15 that no one told us about. The stress eating mixed with having no time to work out, left most of us walking across the stage on graduation day with our brains full of knowledge, our hearts full of hope for the future, our pockets weighed down by student loans…and our hips a little more rounder with 15 extra pounds. So now here you are, a year or two out of college and wondering how to get your college body back. Or you are a mother of two or more adorable children and even though you love those precious kids, you low key give them the side eye for stealing your pre-motherhood body. All hope is not lost ladies, we shall overcome. Here are 5 unconventional tips to help you us get your our body back. 1. Accept that your body is changing as you grow I know! That’s a hard pill to swallow, but we don’t have the same metabolism as we used to when we were 16. The sooner we accept that and move on, the better. You know how we try to stay up late till 2am to prove to these youngins that we are not grandma’s? A lot of us treat our metabolisms like that, we live in denial, refusing to accept that our body is taking five hours to burn the puff puff we ate earlier. Embrace the fact that your bedtime is now 9:30pm and embrace your new metabolism. Accept the body you have now, love it, own it and werk at it. 2. Unfollow the Instagram fitness models Well not all of them, but some of them have to go. These Instagram fitness models are supposed to motivate you, not duplicate you. [bctt tweet=”These Instagram fitness models are supposed to motivate you, not duplicate you. ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Stop comparing yourself to the model who doesn’t have a regular 9-5 and can afford to devote three hours a day to staying fit. Or the girl who has a personal chef who cooks healthy meals for her. Instead, find people who actually mirror the life you live. Follow the mom of five who incorporates working out into her busy mommy schedule. Or if you are a recent graduate juggling two jobs and you want to be fit, find some motivation that looks like you. 3. Find ways to UNINTENTIONALLY burn fat If you wait to love exercising in order to reach your fitness goals, you will be waiting forever. The reason most of us hate exercise is because of the effort and the brain fuel that it takes. First you gotta find a gym, find some cute work out clothes (because the calories don’t count unless you are wearing Beyonce’s athletic line). And then you now have to find a gym buddy who wont flake on you at the last minute. Oh and don’t forget finding the perfect playlist and then actually remembering to bring your headphones along with you to the gym. Did that tire anyone else out?? The loop hole is to trick your brain into burning fat without it thinking you are exerting effort. Take the stairs instead of the elevator Park further to your job and walk to work. Do 20 squats before bed. Buy a jump rope and actually use it. 4. Food is not your enemy I know its easy to blame food as your jeans fit tighter and tighter, but food is not your enemy. Its actually your greatest ally in your quest to get your body back. [bctt tweet=”Food is actually your greatest ally in your quest to get your body back” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Understanding your metabolism is the first step. Not only does our metabolisms slow down as we grow older but if you are a #MotherlandMogul, then your days have also gotten busier. AND making matters worse, majority of us spend our work day sitting behind a desk, we are rarely in motion in our 9-5. This highlights the importance of eating well. Its the one thing we can do consistently, so do it well. 5. You are the only one keeping you from your #BodyGoals I know I started this off by blaming my alma mater, but the truth is ladies, we are the only ones who could get our bodies back. [bctt tweet=”The main thing to remember is that you are your own body goals” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] You hold the key (DJ Khaled voice). And the main thing to remember is that you are your own body goals. You should love your body so much that you only want YOUR body back. Not Teyana Taylor’s body, even though she is all kind of goals right now.
7 fashionable pieces to shop for in varsity for the office life
[bctt tweet=”Start shopping for the office life while in university with these tips” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Most people who make the transition from being a student to a working individual know the truth. Contrary to the popular notion that it gets better once you can tweet “pay day”, the financial side of your life won’t get any easier for a while… Those first few months will have you catching a case while you wait for the bank’s notification. With justifiable reason, companies that hire and place interns/trainees to low-earning entry-level posts expect them to dress in a way that’s not just fashionable but professional. School-leavers then face a huge challenge. How can you quickly adapt to the professional standards at the office while stuck with a very small rigid budget? After struggling to put together a ‘formal’ outfit for my very first presentation during my first year of varsity, I made up my mind to start shopping smart. I have become one of those people who spend hours in one shop, mixing and matching outfits, trying on tens of clothing items. Since then, I have learnt something new about shopping. It is fun and fabulous, but it is also a whole process on it’s own. Unless your budget stacks plenty of digits, you need to take your time and be strategic about it. Following some research in my own closet and on trending fashion blogs, I have 7 dress ideas for just-graduated women. 1. Wide leg pants Better known to me as palazzo pants. When I first spotted these in the market years ago, I didn’t think I could ever wear them. But when they came back in a whole variety of heavier fabric and colours, I couldn’t help myself. They had suddenly become more fashionable. I loved and got this simple but gorgeous high waist black pair early this year and I have been Olivia Pope’ing successfully since. For the office, you can go for a normal button-up shirt and throw on a blazer, complete the look with a simple neck-piece and graceful heels. Once you leave the office, you can ditch the shirt for a fun top and finish off the look with a pair of sandals or pumps. MotherlandMogul Tip: This is the best time to play around with different fabrics, try to keep your selection light because heavy fabrics tend to formalise most outfits. The benefit of owning a black pair of wide leg pants is that it makes it easier to play around with the colours of the top and shoes. Popular colour alternatives that are just as easy to transform between the two styles include beige, khaki, brown and rose gold. If wide leg pants aren’t your style, you can opt for the newly popular paper bag waist pants or classic straight leg formal pants. 2. Black pump I know a whole lot of girls that can testify that the black pump saved their lives, I know I can. Whether it is for the walk to the office or for school, this fashionable item can do it all. Not only are they durable if you take good care of them, but they are affordable and can be found almost everywhere. Remember to give them a good wipe down every now and then. Also, keep them in a cool place, dirty or smelly pumps don’t do much for anyone. [bctt tweet=”7 dress ideas for just-graduated women navigating office dress codes ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 3. Plain t-shirt That is actually a men’s shirt (yes, that can be fashionable for ladies too). I had bought it as a gift for a friend, but I found myself falling for it so I got him something else instead. I would suggest you settle for colours like white, grey and black or any light shade. If you can make any other bold colour work then by all means, go for it. You can finish off the shirt for both styles with dark accessories (depending on the shade of your shirt). For the office, it helps to cut the shirt off way up top, a high-waist skirt should do the trick. For a more laid back look, pair the boyfriend jeans with walker boots or pumps instead of heels and if it tickles your fancy, throw a kimono over the shirt. This look is especially convenient for when you have a casual occasion to attend after a short day at the office because you can quickly change out of the skirt into the jeans. 4. Court heels Where do I start? I absolutely love courts! Whether they are floral, lace-ups or just plain, these babies are beautiful and fashionable. Once you find your ideal pair, you’ll find that they go well with almost every outfit you can scramble together. When shopping for court heels, like with every other shoe, it is very important to shop your correct size! If you buy a size that’s too small for you, you might not have any toes after walking in them! The truth is, that pointed little front can be quite cruel to your feet, if you give your toes little to no room for movement. [bctt tweet=”Did you know a delicate chiffon shirt is one of the easiest pieces to style?” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] 5. Chiffon shirt Whether it is long sleeved or short, a delicate chiffon shirt is one of the easiest pieces to style. It is a very light piece of clothing so ideally, make sure you wear heavier bottoms with it. These type of shirts usually have some kind of detail along the neckline or collars so you need not worry much about accessorizing. Any plain pencil skirt works with this shirt. To bring the fashionable look together, add in a bold pair of platforms or boots. Platform and boot heels are usually heavier than any other heels for obvious reasons and like I said, the heavier your bottom, the better. For a casual look, switch the skirt for a blue denim. If your
Stacey’s “big move”: Tips for when you’re a repatriate
[bctt tweet=”@Staceyy_Stace traded London for Kampala and was welcomed with open arms” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Born and raised in London, I’d never imagined living anywhere else —until I graduated from University and joined the working world! The rising cost of living, poor work-life balance and miserable weather (which I will never get used to) slowly made me lose love for my home city. Meanwhile, the ‘Africa Rising’ narrative was opening my eyes to the opportunities on the continent, including Uganda, the land of my parents. My holidays to Uganda became more frequent —and boarding my flights back to the UK became more of a battle! With my parents indicating that they would move back to Uganda within a few years, the idea of joining them became an attractive option. By early 2015, I was certain that I would try living in Uganda at some point, but I had no idea it would be this soon —even before my parents! The opportunity arose earlier than I expected and I couldn’t pass it up. Getting into Jumia Uganda I’d been applying for new jobs in London, until one day, a tweet advertising an attractive marketing role with Jumia (Africa’s biggest e-commerce platform), appeared on my timeline —and it was based in Kampala. I reached out to the Country Manager through LinkedIn expressing my interest in the role. A couple of Skype interviews later, I was offered the job and was on a flight to Kampala the next week! It all happened so fast, I didn’t have time to over think the move or discourage myself. If things didn’t work out, I could easily be on the next flight back to London —so it was worth the shot! [bctt tweet=”At times, I was made to feel like an expatriate and at others, a local” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Life in Kampala Generally, Kampala welcomed me with open arms. My job has been exciting; the sunny weather makes days more pleasant; the social scene is popping and although my immediate family are in London, the majority of my relatives are here, dotted in every corner of the city. I felt new to the city, but I also felt at home. At times, I was made to feel like an expatriate and at others, a local. I wasn’t quite sure what to refer to myself as, until I learned the term ‘repatriate’: one who has returned to their country of birth, citizenship or origin. I’ve met a few other repatriates which is encouraging, however I wouldn’t say there’s much of a ‘repat’ scene here just yet, unlike in places like Lagos and Accra. As of now, returnees and repatriates tend to blend in with Uganda’s local middle class and expatriates. It’s also important to mention that absolutely every one has a side hustle! There are many opportunities to make (legal) side money and it’s the way people overcome the challenge of earning a weak currency. Now that I’m in Uganda, I’ve been inspired to utilise my time better and actively seek paid opportunities beyond my job! [bctt tweet=”Us Londoners tend to speed walk, it took some time to get used to the laid back way of life” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Main challenges Note: Having a generator and a mifi means I do not have to complain about power cuts or lack of consistent WiFi. Money: The Ugandan Shilling is not the strongest of currencies, especially in comparison to the British Pound. Travelling abroad now requires more careful consideration than I was previously used to, due to how weak the Ugandan Shilling is when exchanged. Furthermore, a lot of business in Kampala involves dealing in US dollars, which isn’t always easy! However, although I’m earning less than I was in the UK, the cost of living in Kampala is a lot less —so my money does go a longer way in Uganda. Friends: As expected, most people in Kampala have friends whom they’ve grown up with —and having never lived here before, I did initially feel disconnected in that aspect. I had to actively try to make new friends, but I never wanted to come across as desperate! Nonetheless, with the help of cousins, colleagues and people I’d met on previous visits, I’ve networked, met and continue to meet some great people. The laid-back culture: Us Londoners tend to speed walk regardless of whether we’re running late and get frustrated if our train is delayed by any more than 2 minutes. It took some time to get used to the laid back, less time-conscious way of life in Kampala. At first, I criticised it, but later realised it probably contributes to how happy and stress-free most people seem here. The slower pace isn’t necessarily wrong, it’s just different and requires a lot of patience if you’re not used to it!
10 Things Motherland Moguls would tell their 21 year old self
[bctt tweet=”Keep your head up ladies, so your crown doesn’t fall down” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] We asked our community members what advice they would have give their 21 year old self. We couldn’t keep all that knowledge locked away in an Instagram post for you to never think about again. We’ve compiled all that collectively wisdom here. The collective knowledge of our SLA community fell into 10 different categories and we’ve broken it down for you. So get your pen out and bookmark this page. You’re welcome. Confidence One of the things that truly makes a Motherland Mogul is that she is confident in herself and her abilities. She doesn’t let small minds and mean words hold her back. Keep your head up ladies, so your crown doesn’t fall down. @Marlidiallo: “1. Don’t conform to the norm. 2. Have confidence in yourself.” @Thelady_sek: “Protect your heart. Protect your mind. Don’t take yourself for granted and care less what people think about your hustle.” @Daramolafeyi: “Believe in the God that you serve, believe you can be and do whatever you decide to be. Stop comparing yourself with others. Be hardworking, Don’t be lazy.” Start TODAY There is no time like the present. Our community wants you to know that you shouldn’t sit on those amazing ideas of yours. Don’t wait till you’re the right age. Don’t wait till you have enough money. Heck, don’t even wait till you graduate. Roll up your sleeves and get to work: now, now. @G_mama1: “That it’s good to start mall. Stop waiting for a big capital to start, start with the little you’ve got.” @Imoheboh: “Start this already! Don’t procrastinate.” @Amazinfarie: “It’s not too late.. You can still make it InshaAllah.” @Ms_dinma_o: “There is no better time to start than now. You have more than you need.” @Nalianyalouise: “Don’t procrastinate” @Lamide_ “Just start” [bctt tweet=”The SLA community wants you to know that you shouldn’t sit on those amazing ideas of yours.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] These are the days —give it your all In addition to starting today, your fellow Motherland Moguls want you to go hard! Now in your early 20s is the time to throw your heart and energy into what you do. You likely have fewer commitments & expenses so chase your dreams and chase them tirelessly. @Thealaroro: “This is your season of independence! Maximise it. Do more. See more. Be more.” @Lululingerieng: “Age 17-21 are foundation years. “Suffer then enjoy later,” compromise, have multiple jobs, DON’T just be a student.” @Maa_designz: “Ain’t no time for games darling. Pursue you with all you got. Find that dream. Water it. You would be glad you did.” @Chigozie18: “Take all the risks you want now. Don’t wait till you are 30.” @Vianniey: “Explore the opportunities right before you first… you can’t choose to look outside much later!” [bctt tweet=”Now in your early 20s is the time to throw your heart and energy into what you do” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Work ethic Dreams and ideas are great, but you have to be willing and able to put in the work! Make sure you focus on the task at hand and work hard on your priorities. @Lonitagram: “I’m 21, will be 22 next week Saturday…so it’s “never stop dreaming, never stop believing, it’s only a matter of time, never stop planning, she who works her ass off wins, stay in your magic, eventually all things fall into place and let God be God.” @Berugubydeezah: “Stop dreaming and start working.” @Theskinapothecary: “Go harder, stop procrastinating, you can do it.” Your studies & beyond Your studies are very important, but also one day you will graduate. Make sure you are thinking of that end goal. What are you in school for? Don’t just go through the motions and make sure you are also finding ways to skill build outside the classroom. @Tolulopefunsho: “School and studying isn’t everything!! Think entrepreneurship!” @Marymangeni: “Explore and learn as much as you can” @Lululingerieng: “Age 17-21 are foundation years. “Suffer then enjoy later,” compromise, have multiple jobs, DON’T just be a student.” Perseverance We all know why the tortoise whooped the hare in their super famous race. Don’t get lazy. Stay focused and keep working on your goals: every month, every week, and every day. @Bisolaatiba: “You’re almost there, keep moving.” @Alorhhs_chayil: “Keep trusting God, keep working hard, don’t give up your dreams and be consistent.” @Chicest_elle: “You’re on the right path girl. Keep it up!” [bctt tweet=”Stay focused and keep working on your goals: every month, every week, and every day” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Well-Being Life is not a sprint. It’s a marathon. So make sure you are taking care of yourself and doing all the things that will ensure you are able to enjoy the fruits of your labour for a long time. Keep yourself physically, mentally, spiritually & emotionally well. @Curlynewbie: “Eat well, sleep well, run and most your issues will be easy to solve with a clear mind and healthy bod.” @Aadidako: “Comparison is the thief of all joy.” @So_samiama: “Don’t sweat it girl.” Everything has its time While you are busy chasing your dreams and taking care of yourself, also realize that some things are out of your control. As long as you are giving your all, and striving to be the best at what you do, everything else will fall into place. @If.e.oma: “Do it…Push through the pain. It’s ok to not get it at a particular time, it will come at the right time.” @Gift_angela_ : “Let tomorrow worry about itself” @Battousai_h: “Relax it’s going to be alright” @Nnigdini: “To my own self, I would’ve said “self take your time, marriage wasn’t the remedy of your tears, pain, sparrow, disappointments, life was just beginning, there is more to life than compromising your life to marriage.” @Mz_danielzzz: “Insecurity isn’t pretty. Be patient and find your own path. Being in a hurry to accelerate your career like your elder ones can ruin you. Enjoy the journey.” [bctt tweet=”As long as you are giving your all, everything else
4 wellness tips for ladies with baby (or not-so-baby) businesses
[bctt tweet=”I know you are strong and independent and all that but babe, you aren’t 007 ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Congratulations on starting your business, feels like a new baby, right? It’s really amazing to finally have the time and resources to start living your dream but with it comes the added stress of taking care of this new baby (assuming that’s the only baby you have. If not, double congrats to you!). In addition, there’s all the other roles you perform in everyday life as a woman, daughter, sister, friend, wife, mom… Here are 4 wellness tips that can make running a baby business (or any business at all) less stressful on you. 1. Get help At the start of your entrepreneurial journey, you might be tempted to do it all (like I was). You will most likely be the CEO, the liaison officer, the content manager, the cleaner (yes, cleaner if you run a shop alone), the accountant and so many other things. I know you are strong and independent and all that but babe, you aren’t 007 (even he has help from the HQ when needed). Please approach friends and family to help with some tasks you are not so good at so you can concentrate on what you know best. You can also try a service swap. If you are a budding fashion stylist for instance, helping a celebrity (or popular) friend with styling tips in exchange for a social media mention or dedicated post can help you with PR. It can also free up some hours you would have used sitting glued to your laptop sweating over online publicity. 2. Don’t forget to eat Drowning yourself in work all day and forgetting about meals is just, plain evil! As an entrepreneur, you need energy to function and the only (legit) way to get it is through healthy, nutritious food. [bctt tweet=”Drowning yourself in work all day and forgetting about meals is just, plain evil!” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Pack your meals or have a deal with a food vendor to drop off your meals if you work outside of your home. If you need to set the alarm for meal time, please do. I tell my coaching clients at My Figure 8 wellness that If you don’t eat properly, or skip meals, there’s a tendency for you to chomp on unhealthy, sugary snacks all day. Then over eat (most times too late into the night), when you finally remember food or worse still, become undernourished. 3. Get moving You know exercises are good for you but do you exercise? Exercising is not only good for your body (and that’s a story for another day), it’s also good for your heart, emotions and mental health. People who exercise often are said to be generally smarter, and happier than those who don’t. Remember what Elle Woods said in Legally Blonde? “Exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy and happy people don’t kill their husbands, they just don’t!” Start with simple workouts like a brisk walk or jog, aerobics and strength training, skipping, racing up and down the stairs and intense dancing. Doing this for 30 minutes, at least 3 times a week will work wonders in the strength and energy department. Don’t forget to warm up before and stretch after your workouts. 4. Chill It’s okay to take a break, seriously! Take one day off work weekly or every other week. An annual vacation to engage in activities that make you feel relaxed and happy is a good investment in your sanity as an entrepreneur. Go to the movies, a spa, go bowling or skydiving (my dream vacation activity), whatever catches your fancy. Drowning yourself in work, taking care of everything and everyone else but yourself will take its toll. Take it from me, I’ve been there done that. I was recently so immersed in learning all I could from my opportunity as a Tony Elumelu entrepreneur, running my business, home (I have two children who ask 1 million questions per minute) and working on starting another business, being a leader and all, that I totally forgot I exist and girl, did I pay for it? I had to stay home for more than a week taking some prescription pain and sleeping meds.
10 reasons you should be your own #MotherlandMogul before and after marriage
I remember the day it dawned on me that my husband would have his own income. After a long day on campus, I got home tired and needing a long hot shower but feeling so fulfilled. It was in this long shower that I suddenly had this thought, “Somewhere across the world my husband is coming home from a long day of grinding too”. This was the first time that I realized that I could one day enjoy the fruits of my husband’s labor. I have thought of how tall I want him to be, how I want him to be chocolate like Idris Elba and intellectual like Nate Parker but I had never thought of the kind of money he would make. I guess I have never really felt like I was entitled to his labor. I have always thought; I can’t change my own tire or kill a roach on my own but darn it I can make my own money. Too many of our African movies depict the man leaving for work while the woman stays at home wearing her perfectly ironed dress (because we all wake up excited to wear a head wrap and make breakfast). It’s either that or my personal favorite, the scene where the girl’s best friend —or better yet her mother— tells her she is stupid for not liking the rich business man who likes her. Because God forbid we love a man for other things besides his money. I think we can do better. Here are my 10 reasons why you should want to be a #MotherlandMogul before and after marriage. Because Beyoncé said so Nuff’ said. So that you can treat your man When you can say to your man, “Babe lets go out, my treat”…The only words sweeter to a man’s ear is “the jollof is ready”. So that you can treat yourself Retail therapy is a real thing. No one would argue with you for buying 4 pairs of designer shoes in one shopping trip if you used your own money. Because you don’t want to be stuck like Melania Trump Hopefully the whole world would not be stuck with Trump as the President of the United States. Because men are great…but they are not everything. *Musters up the courage to repeat Rihanna’s words to every aunt who asks when I am getting married.* Because we have every right to dream bigger and aim higher than men. Auntie Chimamanda summed it up nicely. You shouldn’t hold back for fear that you’ll threaten a man. All women should dream bigger and aim higher. So that you can leave when you want to (or need to) Aren’t we all tired of the narrative where a wife stays with an abusive husband because he is her bread and butter and she has no other option? Motherland Moguls can leave when they need to. Because a #MotherlandMogul is her own rich man. Studies have shown that parents will give their children more freedom to be single if their child is financially stable on their own. Ok that study is my own personal wishful thinking. Also if your parent is African, it doesn’t work. Because feeling your self feels better on your own dime I bet you Beyoncé and Nicki did not have that much fun on set because Jay Z and Meek Mill are rich. It’s because they know they will be completely fine without their men. Because a #MotherlandMogul’s best position is CEO *Makes mental note to say this to every guy who asks what my favorite position is*
Solving the equation: Work + Life + Family = ?
I have three children ages 4, 6 and 12. I also run three businesses, my legal practice NKS Advocates, Law Query Kenya, an online legal resource portal with an android app and an entrepreneur empowerment company plus online directory with Mpower Limited. Then, I also have a social life. As you can imagine, it is hectic. What surprised me a lot is that the hardest task is attending to my family. The needs of the family are financially, emotionally and time consuming. My family need to be listened to, acknowledged, praised, and identified as individuals. This, I assure you, is quite time consuming. Yet, it is extremely rewarding when the family member feels happy and loved. The number of hugs and kisses I need to dish out per day keep on increasing. I don’t complain because, I brought my children to this world and I must take care of them. They are a priority! Still, the greatest resource they consume is time! The effect of being a mother is that, now, my hours are spent more on the children. My businesses are really affected by this. When it comes to this balance, a woman needs to decide what is important. To me, my family and business are important. And yes, I have friends and social obligations that are important too. So, how can I possibly manage? Focus on important things first I struggle with this because I usually like to get everything done. So, nowadays, I need to balance my day according to importance and urgency. Important means tasks that leave more impact or need more personal input. Sometimes, ME time trumps everything! Make sure your to-do list not a wishlist! How you execute your operations or business may need to be revisited. Do you really need to have physical meeting with a client? This takes up a lot of time in travel and may disrupt (in a positive way) your day. Reducing physical meetings and focusing on deliverables can free up some time. Many companies now have self-help options to reduce physical contact while addressing routine issues. Technology has helped reduce disrupted time and create more time for actual quality work. This should be used optimally as it can also become a disruption in itself or distance you from your customer. Get help Without relinquishing responsibility, consider getting someone else to help you get things done. The domestic help can ensure homework is done so you only need to check it and sign the diary (clearly you cannot delegate this). I rely on school transport and lunches for my children. It saves me two to three hours a day. For my businesses too, I get good help. It costs a lot but the peace of mind is worth it. Of course, I still take meetings but after putting my schedule on my phone calendar, I’m rarely double-booked. Also, I make sure my meeting locations are as near each other as possible or in a logical sequence. One of my top peeves is rushing through traffic. What I have learnt with getting help is you can’t just instruct and wash your hands off it. There is need for supervision and direction. This requires periodic meetings and checking of all deliverables constantly. I manage this through emails and phone calls. I have all my office emails transferred to the email on my phone so that I don’t miss anything. One thing I don’t delegate is strategic planning, and money matters! Also, when there is a crisis you need to show up! Have good systems in place Having standard systems and templates helps to manage quality control and brand equity. The customer satisfaction should be the same whether you are serving directly or through your staff. The system should be linked to your phone or home computer so that you can check on things at any moment. I have installed an internet based management system in one business, and I’m still trying it out. Peer support Talk to people who are successful in your field and get enormous insight. In particular, I realize that they have managed the same challenges I have and succeeded. It is amazing how mentors are ready to answer questions and give practical and workable tips. I used to stumble in the dark until I got a mentor who put on the lights for me. Talk to peers (other entrepreneurs) who can share tips or information on opportunities and are more frequently available. Take thirty minutes out of your day and have coffee with your peers. You’ll always leave re-energized, not just from the coffee but from having learnt something new. Of course, I don’t mean idle chat sessions, that’s for your ME time! Capacity building Learning, networking and growing are key for any progress and success. You cannot know everything, there are new models and concepts coming out every day. Take some time to know current trends and news affecting your industry. Same applies to bringing up children, keep abreast with latest threats and trends. When you have knowledge of what you are doing, it becomes easy and you can teach someone else. An entrepreneur must have knowledge on key aspects of the business human resource, operations, procurement, customer care, marketing, finance and strategic planning. Don’t have time to attend conferences and seminars (this is highly recommended due to the diversity of participants)? No problem, the internet is your university. There are loads of excellent programs online. I personally love TED Talks, webinars, and online courses e.g. Alison, Coursera and EdEx. These are free resources that can build capacity and keep you abreast with latest trends. Me time Schedule ME time to re-energize and refresh. A tired mind is worse than a tired body. I refresh through service clubs, socializing, pampering/exercise, travelling, reading and quiet time. Schedule this and make sure it’s in your list of Things to Do! To have it all, the key thing is, “First things First, Important things First”. It doesn’t have to
4 things to do in your 20s
The defining decade. That is what Meg Jay calls it. The ages between twenty and thirty are crucial in a woman’s life. It gets confusing, and it never gets better. You make mistakes and realize who you do not want to be. It is also the age that you are supposed to build a career or business, grow it to success. Don’t forget family as well. Your biological clock starts ticking, and children start getting cuter. Your social circle changes and you go from young adult to a working mother and wife. All in the same number of years it took you to properly learn and write English. Well, there are some pointers that Meg Jay gives in her TED talk, “Why 30 is not the new 20”. The same were replicated in her book “The Defining Decade”, but I do not want to be a spoiler (unlike some GoT fans). Here, however, is a tease of what I picked up. Always invest in who you want to be It does not matter whether you recently graduated and are jobless, or whether you have this amazing opportunity to do what you love. Always keep growing and maturing into the general direction that you want to end up in. That means that you do not have to take that boring unpaid internship that does not really interest you. Keep collecting your identity capital. That way, when you are asked who you are, you can state what exactly influenced you to be yourself. There’s no need being a Scandal fan if you cannot really live it. What’s the fun in that? We’ve shared some more ideas were given in an earlier article. So, really, you have no one to blame but you. Those that are farthest from your reach are the most helpful Most people think we are who we spend time with. That may be true when it comes to shaping your character, but it’s not entirely true for career and business. The weakest ties can come in handy. Your cousin’s friend’s wife may just be the ideal person to get you that dream job. And no, it is not cheating the system if you are qualified for the job. It is called networking. And really, it’s no time to play niceties with your career. Be ruthless in getting those connections going. Extremely nice girls never get the corner office. You have to get your hands dirty (the good kind, though). Own your lifestyle So many people change who they are to fit into what society expects of them. Once you know who you are, do not cram yourself into someone’s box or hide your light. I’m sure we’ve all seen that meme of an orange piece fitting into a garlic bulb. The strongest words are expressed in the simplest of pictures. Once you get that job, express yourself. If you are a creative person, go ahead and do you, darling. Be that leader that you are in your church. If you are a night owl, take up night shifts. Customize your life to your own needs. Truth is, if you don’t, no one will care enough to do it for you. Never ever compare your life to anyone’s Not only is this insulting to God, it is also a lie. Especially on social media. People will only show you an amplified version of the best in their life. You don’t get to know if they are happy or not. Just keep at your gift, work on it, keep your head down and keep going, you know, like a shark. Your actions will speak for you. The whole point of this is, in your 20s, you get to make changes and set habits that may be hard to break. Use them well. You never know when winter would come.