It now seems so long ago. Sometime in April, we woke up to a rather unexpected hot-button topic —the messy detail of troubles in Tiwa Savage’s marriage. There were mind-blowing accusations on social media by her estranged husband.

A tell-all video from Tiwa was to follow the next day. We already knew the 36-year-old Nigerian pop diva could make any song sound heavenly. But for someone who seemed well put together, we didn’t exactly see this coming.

In case you’re one of the handful who hasn’t realized yet, Tiwa has got her groove back and she’s clearly on her grind! I have gleaned from her setback and triumph, 4 hard-hitting truths. They are guaranteed to stick with you for a long time.

Challenges have a way cooler purpose than you ever thought.

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This is probably relative but this attitude is the most important you can develop in life, business or marriage.

Seriously, challenges can sneak up on you and make you feel like the worst person alive. The idea is to realize that though it might take a lot of courage to look pain in the eye, it’s best to trust that it is a learning opportunity.

If you’ve never had to crack some tough nut, have you really lived? I don’t think so.

Know when you’ve had enough… and start talking like Tiwa.

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Like the message in the ‘If I Start To Talk’ song, off her RED album, maybe it’s time you realized you’ve had enough and started talking.

You’ve probably been silent for too long. You don’t have to talk to anyone but an extra set of ears can be very useful. You probably think no one would appreciate, understand or help your plight (I find that pretty rare), but it can be a lifesaver to have someone know your story.

Dust yourself off

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Tiwa’s got some interesting deals and endorsements going on, right now. The most recent and coolest, of course, is her being signed to Jay Z-owned Roc Nation!

That’s some great trick for moving on —deliberately re-enact your own story. It makes for good business and helps you avoid having to obsessively dwell on something you cannot help.

You can always decide the turning point in your own narrative. It is that moment when everything changes or catalyzes.

Play the stingy one if you must

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Maybe you’ve been doling out cash to that lazy business partner, spouse, friend, family member or people whose link to you, you can’t fathom.

No sweat girl, the giver tag to your name is fine. But the broke, unappreciated and unhappy tag is not so fine.

If you find yourself in a position to offer help, by all means, do but it should really be worth it.

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