Remember the not-so-shocking end of Jhene Aiko’s marriage to her Nigerian husband, DotdaGenius? It really brought to the forefront how most Nigerians view divorce.

The lessons to learn from this bitter and public divorce are numerous. Let’s look at what not to do when a relationship goes sour.

Don’t ever feel the need to air your dirty laundry in public

For absurd reasons like getting “support”, even if it’s from outsiders, people tend to share more than they should.  Jhene Aiko sort of did this on social media after the divorce news broke.

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Rather than do this, how about settling the rift(s) with the other party without the prying eyes of people who may not really care?

Especially as we all agree that there’s some sanctity to marriage. Your value kind of diminishes when you give third parties undue vested interests in your business.

Infidelity

Being in an unhappy marriage is better imagined, especially when a partner is cheating.

But cheating to get back at the spouse is never the best solution to an already terrible situation.

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Playing the two-can-play-the-game revenge tactic is never the way to go. Rather than cheat, please girl, opt out!

Fear

Nigerian women have this inexplicable fear of divorce. This may have been fueled by the myth that kids from “broken homes” don’t make good homes themselves. Unfortunately, there is still a never-ending stigma associated with divorce.

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How some people react when they hear “divorce”

Nigerians have a way of labeling divorcees (especially women) as rude and not submissive. It’s always the woman’s fault.

Making women feel this way because a marriage didn’t work, has made a lot of women stay in unhappy relationships “for the kids”. No one wants to be stereotyped unfairly.

Starting over

Marriage offers some form of validation for women in Nigeria, and maybe even other parts of Africa. It is believed that irrespective of what a woman achieves, she is nothing without a man.

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Owing to these beliefs, even otherwise strong women would rather stay in a loveless marriage while enduring being treated badly or even cheated on.

In conclusion, Nigerian women need to realise that a divorce can never be the end of one’s life. Everyone is entitled to a new beginning and even after a divorce, there’s still hope.

There you have it, ladies, it’s time to have a fresh outlook on love and relationships, and  marriage.

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